MAJOR BIG THANK YOU

[maddiva]

The last week has been a nightmare for me. Getting sober and doing well but dealing with teenagers and bills etc., I did feel rather low and sat there alone, thinking, I cannot cope with this. You know what? I can!! I was an inch away from just packing up and running away. I think I crave my former life when I did not have kids and I did not have the worries, but that is not the real world. I have set ground rules. When you drink when you are a parent, you give the child an upper hand. My sons have had to deal with me drunk, which I know was not fair, right or just. It is just how it was. I accept my part in that. Yet, when I was getting sober I saw things differently, and understood why I chose to drink. It was escapism. Yet, I am strong and I will conquer my foe and deal with my kids. I joined a teenage website to help me deal with violent, abusive teenagers. Sometimes the love inside you is hard to find. But if I love me, then that is a major plus, cos then I can dismiss the nastiness that these teenagers throw at you and think 'whatever'. For all my faults, they have never gone without!!! Booze did not replace food. I did not have them going around in rags or faltered at Christmas. However, now I see a new, real me emerging. You know what 'I do not deserve shit and I will not tolerate it'. This website has helped me. It has made me see I am not alone. We all have a tale to tell. We all battle the same foe!!! We are all human. So I drank this weekend and I am not ashamed. It is more of my understanding as to why. I will join a gym. I walk daily with my toothless dog. But I need more, I need to find me. When you drink, you actually lose the real you. The talented, kind, compassionate you and in return you get the drunk you. The slob. So my love is extended to all of you who have taken time to write words of encouragement to me when the world seems black. I am back on track and not going to run away, as much as I would like to. I will stay and fight. I will win. Regards and best wishes to you all:l:thanks::h

[brittzak]

MAJOR BIG THANK YOU

Maddiva, getting our lives back is not easy , but can be done. Even with toothless dog...HA HA HA Teasing you....we have to laugh or we'd cry, right? Keep on keeping on...

[LookingToGrow]

MAJOR BIG THANK YOU

Maddiva, you have come along way since we first chatted! I am glad you have turned things around for yourself and your kids. I hope you stay around and that we can chat again

[A Work in Progress]

MAJOR BIG THANK YOU

Exactly right. When you drink, you lose the real you... and you give the kids the upper hand, because you have stopped being someone they respect. That happened to me when I was a child... my mother was drunk every night, and I never have respected her. I loved her, but never respected her and never felt that she was a person I could go to for help, comfort, or advice...

You sound just great today. Stick around here, it really helps. And hold tight to your determination.

wip

[maddiva]

MAJOR BIG THANK YOU

Thank y'all

I hated AA. Cos it put a face to me. I love this. No one knows who I am. Not that I am famous or the like, but just lil ole me. Honestly , you have all helped me. I am not out of the woods as I drank for 3 days this week, I was doing really well and then I just malfunctioned, I have to figure out why for me. I did not come to this website as a 'joke' I came because I was so shocked at me and wanted to resolve my issues and reach out to the world. The world now comes to me, some are in Ireland, some are in Texas, some are in India!! We are all over but we come together to fight a good cause staying sober. If someone could tell me why I malfunctioned, I would be most grateful. Cos for the life in me, I do not know, but I know I will get back on track. It is a bad beast this drink lark, isn't it? :thanks: