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That BUGGER is STILL there!

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    #1

    That BUGGER is STILL there!

    I STILL have AL lurking around and keep wondering why. I have some level of emotional discomfort but can't put my finger on it (well, other than the divorce crap and the job market) so I guess AL is wanting me to not deal with whatever it is that has come to the surface. I recognise it as an opportunity for growth and will not pass it by in an altered state. So there!

    Here's my plan. This morning I'm off to my mother's church to meet her dear friend Grace who is a lovely person. My mother died on 11/16 4 years ago. So I'll sit with Grace in church and take her to lunch afterwards. Maybe God will tell me what I'm supposed to deal with or even better just heal it for me while I'm there. :H sorry, hope that doesnt' offend anyone. Some of you may be aware that I'm wandering around in the spiritual growth area right now. I just haven't had the epiphany yet.

    It is a gorgeous day and I have things to do to get ready for being away for thanksgiving, so I'll be busy all day. And I have stuff planned for a healthy dinner and a movie to watch tonight. And of course, my tea. And my roses. And my friends here.

    Thanks for letting me lay out my plan. Who knows, maybe it'll help someone else.
    sigpic
    Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT
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    #2
    That BUGGER is STILL there!

    Greenie sorry missed you last night didnt here the phone...get on chat if you need help tonight SEND A THREAD CALL FOR HELP...the troops will come running promise...you are antsy right now....but you hang in there.
    Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

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      #3
      That BUGGER is STILL there!

      Greenie,

      Have you thought about calling Rhonda? Did her sessions help you?

      I am glad you have a plan. I think AL will lurk around me for a long time. I have to have tools to keep him at bay.

      Very nice of you to spend the day with Grace.

      Love,
      Cindi
      AF April 9, 2016

      Comment

        #4
        That BUGGER is STILL there!

        Sorry to hear about your Mom. We're going to church too. I hope you have a good day with Grace. Will be thinking about you all day.
        MM

        Comment

          #5
          That BUGGER is STILL there!

          Greenie, yes, thoughts/feelings related to alcohol will always be lurking... and also, of course, we will (like all humans) always be prone to vague emotional discomforts that are not necessarily related to alcohol. For me, it's best not to read too much into them, but just to acknowledge them and work in the direction of moving onto something else... which is appears is exactly what you are doing!

          wip

          Comment

            #6
            That BUGGER is STILL there!

            Greenie
            You know AL still lurks around me a lot also. Read some of my posts on long term abs. He never really goes away. But that doesn't mean he wins.
            You are the winner here, not AL. Remember that.
            Have a wonderful day with Grace.
            I love you gal.
            Rest in Peace, Bear. We miss you.

            Comment

              #7
              That BUGGER is STILL there!

              Greenie, you have a great attitude and that shines through. Even though things are really difficult right now you are trying to sort them. You have a plan and that is excellent.
              Thoughts are with you.
              Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
              Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

              Comment

                #8
                That BUGGER is STILL there!

                Greenie, For the past week I have been feeling more vulnerable to Al than I have in quite some time. I am handling it in much the same way that you are...making plans, keeping busy, and talking about it. I don't know why I am feeling this way only that it seems it cycle in and out. So, I'm riding the storm and working on staying steady through it.
                xxoo
                M03
                AF Since April 20, 2008
                4 Years!!!                 :lilheart:

                Comment

                  #9
                  That BUGGER is STILL there!

                  These kinds of threads and posts are so important for everyone here.

                  It is important to know that we all go through these cycles and should be prepared and ready for them. Without this kind of dialog, many would be blindsided and totally unprepared. Then, guess what will likely happen?

                  Thank you all for being here.

                  Love,
                  Cindi
                  AF April 9, 2016

                  Comment

                    #10
                    That BUGGER is STILL there!

                    You are right Cinders- The beast lurks behind us, and waits for us to let our guard down. I think he/she will always be there-
                    Keep Strong
                    DLW
                    Sobriety since October 2008 ( with a few bumps in the road ) - but I am still here, strong and fighting every day for my sobriety!
                    And every day is a challenge - But I am WINNING so far!



                    • Yesterday is History
                      Today is a Mystery
                      Tomorrow is a GIFT

                    Comment

                      #11
                      That BUGGER is STILL there!

                      Hello Greeneyes,

                      I saw another post where you talked about church, the sermon on the black hole and visiting a friend named Grace. When you open your mind and your heart to these "signs" you might just experience that epiphany! A book I wanted to recommend to you "The Life You've Always Wanted" by John Ortberg, another good one is "The Purpose Driven Life." I really do feel that my growing spirituality has been an important tool in my sobriety.
                      I also wanted to say I'm sorry about your mom. My own mom passed away on 12/22/2004. I miss her dearly.
                      Hang in there, you are doing so great!:h
                      _______________
                      NF since June 1, 2008
                      AF since September 28, 2008
                      DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                      _____________
                      :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                      5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                      _______________
                      The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                      Comment

                        #12
                        That BUGGER is STILL there!

                        Cindi, Yes, Rhonda did help me. I have that exercise to do if I am actually "reaching for the bottle". I didn't feel like I was quite there so I thought about it, know where it is in my posession but have not felt it was necessary to use it to keep me from grabbing my car keys. I was cautioned to not overuse it. I've also realized that now that it is a bit cooler, I have not been as diligent about keeping hydrated. So I will focus on making sure I get those two liters in every day. I hate that about flying.I can't cart my big water bottle around with me and all they give you is those dinky little things. I think I'll just go ahead and ask for six to start with, LOL.
                        sigpic
                        Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

                        Comment

                          #13
                          That BUGGER is STILL there!

                          This might belong in "what we believe", but Friday night I had an experience that just floored me. I was driving home from dropping kids off at an activity. The moon was shining so beautifully in the sky, surrounded by fluffy clouds. It was like a glimpse into heaven. I was overcome with such pure joy that I started to cry. I was so very, very grateful to be able to experience that. Before, I would have been sitting at home drunk, never leaving the house after five. I thanked God for leading me to MWO. It was just sooo beautiful, I'll never forget that feeling that came over me.
                          It will come to you, like LVT says, keep your heart open.:h
                          You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect. ~ Buddha

                          Comment

                            #14
                            That BUGGER is STILL there!

                            LTV, I think you are right. Well, for me anyway. And my sobriety has been an important tool in my spiritual growth. Thanks for the book recs!
                            sigpic
                            Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

                            Comment

                              #15
                              That BUGGER is STILL there!

                              "And my sobriety has been an important tool in my spiritual growth"

                              So true, never thought of it this way!



                              ( Thanks for sharing your experience river)!
                              _______________
                              NF since June 1, 2008
                              AF since September 28, 2008
                              DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                              _____________
                              :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                              5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                              _______________
                              The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                              Comment

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