My Opinion

[hart]

If someone attacks you by PM or otherwise PLEASE address that person privately. I don't like discourtesy and unpleasantness, part of the reason I drink, to escape discord.

We all make mistakes and when posting, it is easy to forget how we intend things may not be how they are perceived. It's a handicapp with the written word, we can't hear inflection and expression, so sometimes we come off wrong. Heck, I just had a fellow employee apologize to me because her supervisor said what she wrote was rude.

We all can help each other and be supportive. Let's try please.:thanks::l

[A Work in Progress]

My Opinion

Hart, this place is rife with discourtesy and unpleasantness. Addressing people only by PM, and pretending otherwise that everything is just fine, is not the solution.

[hart]

My Opinion

(((WIP)))

I respectfully disagree. I think if someone is upset with another member e-mail them. In fact, heck go to chat and chat privately and get rid of it. I know there does not have to be dischord here.:heart:

[AAthlete]

My Opinion

Hart, I would agree. While I would love to able to address attacks in a reasonable and sane way, history has shown that we don't. Sides are taken, the singular issue morphs into other issues and the original intent of the thread is usually lost.

Sometimes we need to agree to respectively disagree and move on. Nothing is EVER settled by having arguments within a thread..

[Boss.man]

My Opinion

Oh.

There are so many problems in the world.

I hardly think posting publicly or privately can even begin to touch what are very real issues in the real world.

I prefer to just ride by any conflict, and move forward with my tasks. I hope some others can do that also.

[hart]

My Opinion

((AA))


"Nothing is EVER settled by having arguments within a thread..

I totally agree with that. That's why I don't WANT a thread full of potshots back and forth. It really stirs my stomach up and I DON"T LIKE IT! :durn:

[A Work in Progress]

My Opinion

Well, of course I agree that hurling "potshots" is not going to be productive. At the same time, we can have, and have had, threads within which (significant) disagreements were discussed, in a very civil manner.

The point with which I was parting company with Hart's original post was the idea that if someone says something offensive, then it should only be brought up by way of PM, and not openly. I tend to disagree with that... in some cases, I think that an offensive statement should be labelled, as such, out in the open.

[hart]

My Opinion

Good point. I know when someone has attacked someone I have posted my displeasure with them and support of the attackee. Sigh. I just want us all to make nice and be kind. But then I want that from everybody everywhere and I think I am SOL. LOL

[A Work in Progress]

My Opinion

You know what I wish we would do, Hart? I wish we would stop using the term "attack."

An "attack" is always "in the eye of the beholder." Too often, a disagreement is labelled an attack, and then the friends of the person who was disagreed with pile in, labelling the person who disagreed an "attacker," and they proceed to "defend" the person who was disagreed with, but the "defending" is really a lot more like "attacking."

Disagreeing with people, and/or pointing that something someone said was offensive is NOT necessarily the same as "attacking" someone. But when word spreads that Person A has "attacked" Person B, then all the friends of Person B tend to jump in and defend/attack Person A. And/or they will make snipey remarks about Person A, and/or ignore Person A when that person shows up in a thread. That's a huge problem, here. Another huge problem is that people become pariahs, and everyone feels free to pile in on them... that's what just happened when this Kim person reappeared. She became the utter joke of the whole forum, for a couple of days. I don't know how she made everyone so mad, or how or why she became so angry, herself... What she said on this most recent appearance was a bit silly, but really not all that offensive. But hey, it's ugly when people pile on. Same thing happened with another person here, not so long ago.

I agree with you, I guess, Hart... I am sighing, too, and I think we are both (or, all) SOL.

wip

[rubywillow]

My Opinion

Our skins are very thin here. Many are so sensitive because we have been the target in the past, because of AL. We don't all think alike, post alike, absorb info alike, so, yes, things will be misinterpreted. It's hard to make me argue, because I've had to do so much of it and I hate. I DO just walk away. I've always heard, "Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of time and annoys the pig." Now, I'm not calling anyone a pig! It's an analogy of sometimes wasted efforts. I can only do my best here everyday, and hope I don't offend. If it does, I'm sorry. I'm here to heal, not continue behavior I learned when I was drunk.

[Lila]

My Opinion

Me too. I don't think we know who Melman was. I didn't mean to be mean spirited. I hope I did not hurt anyone's feelings. If so, it was not at all my intent.
Lila

[A Work in Progress]

My Opinion

Wally22;471749 wrote: Hi Hart and WIP
I am sorry if you thought I was piling on Melman (Kim) yesterday. That wasn't my intent.
I didn't find Melman's original post offensive. I didn't take it particularly seriously either. I guess that is my bad.
However taking something and running with it for it's humorous(sp?) potential shouldn't be viewed as an attack. The thread did morph into something quite different perhaps from the original intent. But I don't think it was meant to be mean spirited.
I will try to be more careful with my rather warped sense of humour.

Wally, Lila, it DID become very funny... and I am not saying that anyone in particular in that thread had any bad intent towards Kim. I just tried to put myself in Kim's place and wondered how it felt to have the whole forum turning my post... even if it was silly to start with... into a joke. In groups like this it is easy to have insiders and outsiders... and sometimes someone at MWO becomes an outsider, and there is a shift in how that person is seen. There's a gang mentality that takes over. When we are in the middle of it, we aren't even aware of it... We don't feel mean-spirited, at all (or, not necessarily). But the overall effect for Kim, I am sure, was that she was being laughed at.

[hart]

My Opinion

Posts do veer off the original subject, especially on Subscribers. I think we feel more open there. Personally, I would rather someone laughed at me than expressed anger toward me. But then, I am one who frequently uses humor in my dealings with things. We have some people with a real "out there" type of humor. I have had some people tell me they dislike so and so when I find them just quirky. But maybe it's because I am quirky.....LOL :nutso:

[CaptJBean]

My Opinion

Hart...
Anyone who has met you thru the post know that you are a good person...
My mother used to tell me, "Consider the source."
Or maybe... you just shouldn't take it to "Hart"
Hang in there...

[lucky 2.0]

My Opinion

Is this thread actually about hurting the feelings of Melman??!!??

Set me straight if I am missing something.