I am so glad its Saturday today, just want to chill....
Last night was a first for me, I went out with an old drinking buddy who I havent seen since July when I gave up.
I have been putting her off since as I didnt feel I was ready.
Anyway last night I went and although I enjoyed it, I have realised that I need to socialise in a dfferent setting other than sitting in a pub.
I am looking at it like it is just something new I have to learn. I enjoyed her company though, strangely she only had 2 drinks, very different from before. It must have been me who encouraged all the heavy drinking in the past!
I think where I struggled is that I put pressure on myself to be animated, funny and lively. I am not like that really without a drink especially when I am tired. And thats OK, thats me and I will learn to accept myself the way I am. My attitude has to be that if others dont like it, well, too bad.
She seemed OK though, just the same and seemed to enjoy herself.
I just said I wasnt drinking cos I was on tablets and that was fine....
Did I want to drink al? No, but on the way there I was mulling over what to drink and my immediate thought was "I'll have a scotch because its cold and I want something to warm me up" when I realised that was no longer an option I did feel a little disappointed. But that didnt last too long.
So, I am not ready to "come clean" to others about my problem, but I have learnt that I would like to make some sober friends who know where I am coming from. So I still might have a look at AA in the new year and see what other folks do for entertainment on a cold winters evening :H
Today, I am going to concentrate on housework and essays. Wish me luck!
Have a lovely day all and see you later
Love starts xxx
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