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    #1

    Day One?

    Well after 40 days I tried AL. It really wasn't very good. I had a couple beers with dinner but had not taste due to Topa and then had some wine when I got home. The wine was yucky as well.

    I knew at some time was going to come to this point as I have been debating in my head modding vs AF. While I was drinking it was much slower than usual...I almost had to force myself to finish so not to waste. Won't do that again.....

    For me, the AL just wasn't enjoyable.....

    I felt I needed to 'confess'........now what?
    AF July 6 2014
    Tags: None
    #2
    Day One?

    Now what? Now nothing. Keep going AF and ejoying every second. I'm glad you posted that. I wonder about that same thing from time to time. I'd rather read about others trying it than doing it myself :H BTW, I'd call it day 42.
    sigpic
    Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

    Comment

      #3
      Day One?

      Christy...MY OPINION...stay on topa awhile...maybe a long while, because that "TASTE" for it may return if off topa...did in my case anyway. I don't really know WHY we all try to moderate, but damned if we don't ALL try it. In my experience while on topa there is not taste for the AL, but of of it...I easily could slip back in to the binging pattern....so enjoy your AF life...because a drunk life...isn't a life...it is an existance.
      Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

      Comment

        #4
        Day One?

        OH and PS...now what...welcome to day 42...of LIFE
        Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

        Comment

          #5
          Day One?

          britt, I agree. I'm almost out of topa and I've reduced my dose until I get more and I've noticed the "taste" does come back. It's very true. So I've decided to stick with the topa and up it even more. christy I also agree with greenie. Call it day 42. gia's right as always. It's too expensive and not good for us. I'm modding right now and am going more and more toward AF. I think I'm just too chicken or weak to make the final step. I'm hoping the topa and being here on the boards more often will help me make that leap. I'm not sure if I want to be totally AF but things seem to be nturally heading in that direction. Thanks for your post.
          Be
          "Action is...the enemy of thought." :l Joseph Conrad

          Comment

            #6
            Day One?

            Good for you for talking about it and recognizing what feels right for you. What next? is whatever you choose, day by day. The number count of days will seem so insignificant in 6 months, 9 months, a year, and beyond... just call it your AF life.

            wip

            Comment

              #7
              Day One?

              Cristy, I am so glad you wrote that post. I am 45 days AF, and have wondered what it would be like to have Just 1. You answered my question-
              Lets continue our AF journey together!
              DLW
              Sobriety since October 2008 ( with a few bumps in the road ) - but I am still here, strong and fighting every day for my sobriety!
              And every day is a challenge - But I am WINNING so far!



              • Yesterday is History
                Today is a Mystery
                Tomorrow is a GIFT

              Comment

                #8
                Day One?

                Glad you are here Christy. I did the same thing after 37 days. I knew very well that I could not mod, but just kept telling myself that it would be different, Yeah, right. Insanity=doing the same thing over and over again, excpectly different results. Stay close by.
                "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

                Comment

                  #9
                  Day One?

                  Your post also brings up another good point for me...i think we all obess on the NUMBER of AF days...it drives me literally insane so I am not counting this time...at all. i am not drinking bottom line. I know I am around 3 going 4 weeks now mark due to the fact I am on TOPA...but I am not putting that day to day pressure on myself...may work for some others...may not...just a passing though. I don't even know it works for me yet, but I do know the annoys me to feel pressured by a date...I do not like that. (my God I must be incrediably anal...LOL...but my God I will not report a date...LMAO)
                  Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Day One?

                    I think most here agree that the next step is to be AF. I would suggest that you make a plan for how you are going to do that. You have 40 days behind you so you know what your vulnerabilities are as far as AL goes. Make a plan for how you are going to overcome them.
                    My 2 cents
                    M03
                    AF Since April 20, 2008
                    4 Years!!!                     :lilheart:

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Day One?

                      If I've learned anything, it's that alcohol is overrated. Now you've discovered that too. Hang in there, you're doing great!
                      _______________
                      NF since June 1, 2008
                      AF since September 28, 2008
                      DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                      _____________
                      :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                      5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                      _______________
                      The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Day One?

                        :l to you Christy. Just learn from it (like you have) and keep going. I hate counting days like Britt, but if you are, I wouldn't even start over. Just make it minus 1.

                        You are doing great. I think what happened might have been a good thing. At least now you know.
                        :flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.

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