Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

[bestlifeldms]

Self Abandonment - definition
Main Entry:
self?aban?don?ment
Pronunciation: -dən-mənt
Function: noun
Date: 1809

1 : a lack of self-restraint
2 : a surrender of one's selfish interests or desires

Doing some interesting work with my therapist on this subject. Anyone willing to share their thoughts on how self abandonment has affected their drinking?

[AAthlete]

Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

Best, I would say that they go hand-in-hand with each other. Selfishness and a lack of self-restraint were tenants of my life when I was drinking. I was only focused on my feeling well, and to do that one drink was never enough.

I had to learn to give those up in order to affect a true recovery from my alcohol problem.

[A Work in Progress]

Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

I tend to think of alcoholic drinking behavior as self-destructiveness, which seems or sounds a bit more severe, I suppose, than "self-abandonment." But in the world of child abuse/neglect, we know that neglect can be even worse than outright abuse. If we think of self-care as being similar in some ways to the care of anyone else... care of a child, a partner, a friend, an elderly parent... neglect or abandonment can be extremely harmful. It can destroy relationships.

Self-neglect or abandonment would include not just overt acts of self-harm (getting drunk), but failure to do the things I need to do in order to thrive: healthy eating, exercise, meditation, giving to others, etc.

AA, "selfishiness" would fit in, for me, as a variant of all this, in that it is a failure to engage in the healthy kinds of practices that make us thrive...

Nice thread.

wip

[Heavenly]

Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

I could write a book on my own ... I was very selfish with regards my drinking and in turn drinking made me very selfish ... a very vicious circle.

[AAthlete]

Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

A Work in Progress;477577 wrote:
....Self-neglect or abandonment would include not just overt acts of self-harm (getting drunk), but failure to do the things I need to do in order to thrive: healthy eating, exercise, meditation, giving to others, etc. ....

wip

WIP, I would agree and it almost becomes self-fulfilling. I know that I grew up in a household were I was routinely told I couldn't do anything right. That carried over into my adult life to the point where to 'feel good,' I actually had to 'feel bad' about myself. How would I do that?

All you have to do is look at your quote....

And I agree Heavenly, it was truly a very vicious circle.

[Evie.Lou]

Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

Sorry...Nothing profound to say, just LOVE YA Best.

[bestlifeldms]

Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

:l:h:l Right back at ya, Evie.Lou! Hugs!!!

[Starlight Impress Forever]

Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

Hi best,
Self abandonment undoubtedly played a huge part in my drinking. Drink often makes us selfish to the core, often attending to only the bare necessities in life/doing just enough to get by.

Even when I had the occasional less drunken day, drink was first and foremost in my mind and would prevent me going the extra mile for someone/thing (including myself) , even when I really would have liked to have done so. To an alcoholic, drink is the master of ceremonies, nomatter how hard we may try to convince ourselves otherwise.

Star x

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

AAthlete;477598 wrote: WIP, I would agree and it almost becomes self-fulfilling. I know that I grew up in a household were I was routinely told I couldn't do anything right. That carried over into my adult life to the point where to 'feel good,' I actually had to 'feel bad' about myself. How would I do that?

All you have to do is look at your quote....

And I agree Heavenly, it was truly a very vicious circle.

I can relate to that!

Luvya :l

[Popeye]

Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

For me, self-abandonment is the lack of restraint and self destruction that goes with my drinking.
I abandon any self preservation. I don't care what happens to me, I just gotta get totally wasted, no matter what. There have been days when I could quite happily have just curled up in a corner, stopped breathing, and left it all behind; everything I love got lost in the fog and nothing mattered. I haven't felt like that for a while now, but I know how easy it would be to fall back into those feelings. Despair and complete...abandonment.
Bad days!

[kaponium]

Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

God, Popeye - touche! Well, being a "word person" I tend to think self-abandonment when, say, dancing (sober) a great thing... however, putting it bluntly, trashing myself on a daily basis was how I lived when in my addiction....so self neglect, abuse, loathing probably more what I did - and as a result, everyone else around me copped the same. Today, self knowing, nurturing and all those new-agey sorta words I used to TRASH are good for me...I ADORE being sober, and I am learning that it is OK and good, even, to really love the person I am when sober. Bless!

[gyco]

Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

self abandonment,was it,we grow in a society or i did tht said it was ok,until you go to far,from my understanding whether i drank or not i would be wht i am anyways,i had a choice not to drink,for 16 years i didnt touch a drop,even then i didnt like the taste,or the latter feeling of being sick like hell,but over many years,of stopping and starting i found out the truth,i was born with this i had no choice in tht,but i do have the choice to change,have a great day all gyco

[Boss.man]

Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

I disagree entirely.

The biological and physical effects of alcohol, it's ability to warp biological behavior rewards in the brain, lead me to think that no conscious act or "abandonment" takes place.

It may take a conscious act to overcome this process.

But that doesn't imply you consciously entered it by will. And I'm not sure "abandoning" is the right word for a temporary failure in the effort to overcome a biological state.

[A Work in Progress]

Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

bossman, every decision to take that first drink (knowing the very likely consequences) and every other decision to sabotage one's health and well-being is just as much a conscious decision as are the decisions that parents make to abandon, abuse, or neglect their children.

Calling it "biological and physical" does not take it out of the realm of human decision-making; cognition, thinking, emotions, impulses, impulse control, and decision making are ALL "biological and physical" processes...

wip

[bestlifeldms]

Self Abandonment - Any Comments?

More information:

Self-Abandonment: Alcoholism and Healing