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    #1

    Ugh...

    Hi all, I've been lurking but not posting much in the last couple of months. I think I was getting a bit complacent...modding well, not great but OK...had given up the ciggies - that was awesome. Anyway, it's all been getting away from me and I've even started smoking again - only when I drink (surprise surprise) I feel like s**t and thought I should come here & be honest. I've made some friends here & I thought I should say it aloud...to make myself accountable or something.
    Anyway, I'm upset & confused, shitty, angry & pissed off with myself.
    I need to do the 30 days AF but I'm terrified & to be honest I don't think I'm capable of it...I don't want to fail 'coz that would be confirmation that I really do have a problem & I think I've been avoiding that. I tell myself drinking just got a bit out of hand but I've been heaps better in the last couple of years and I know people who drink more than me...but it's not about other people eh?? It's about me..fuck it all this sucks.
    OK, so I'm thinking January will be good for the 30 days AF...I'm just setting myself up to fail if I say I'll do it in December.
    Sorry for the fruity language and thanks for taking the time to read.
    I'm OK, just pissed off with myself.
    Angel xo
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    #2
    Ugh...

    Hey Angel
    Thats what I was like after my "slip" (for lack of a better word) on 31st October after modding along nicely for 4 months and I was so freaking mad angry pissed off etc with myself that I made myself go AF for November not as penance but as a kick up the arse for allowing myslef to get complacent about my modding rules etc. Honestly I have really enjoyed November and it hasnt been a struggle at all really and although I am going to go modding again for the hols I feel strong and focused after it. It's not something you should be afraid of - embrace it and live it (maybe easier said than done I know) maybe just do two weeks or something for starters and then start up again after xmas. Like the ad says it may not happen overnight but it will happen - as long as you just keep plugging along.
    BH

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      #3
      Ugh...

      Yeah - 2 weeks is a good idea for starters - I just need to get my head around it & work out that I'm not depriving myself. It should be a blessing not too drink - I think I read that on one of the trheads - WIPS wise words I think.
      Angel xo

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        #4
        Ugh...

        Hi Angelcakes,
        I agree there's little point in staying AF over the hols if you feel you're going to fail, but you can still choose to stay dry a lot of the time.
        Sounds like you're getting a plan together.
        Good luck.

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          #5
          Ugh...

          Thanks Popeye - you're right. Every AF day counts...
          Angel xo

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