This is going to be my last post for some time. Well a week to be precise. (thank god) for that I hear you sigh!!!!:H I am lying in my bed. Lights off and planning my moves and thinking what this battle with alcohol is like for me. I imagined Everest. I am right at the bottom. Looking at this massive mountain that I have to climb in order to put my flag on top and say 'look, I did it!!!'. Can you climb Everest in your trainers and a tracksuit? Can you heckers like, you need to be forearmed and prepared. Fail to prepare and prepare to fail, so they say. You need to have a good team with you, who you can trust. You need to be prepared for all the eventualities, the pitfalls the dangers. The icy edges that will thrust you right back down and if you are not careful to your untimely death. You need correct nutrition as your body becomes the ultimate machine. I wanted to share this with you all as this is how it feels for me. To become sober and to stay sober is like a mountain. I have to climb it to be free. Am I afraid? You bet. Cos as you all now know I do have a 'real' problem. Doctors might not see it, but I know it. I abused this weekend. Now you imagine meeting me in real life. Lovely at first then when the drink hits the spot the exorcist has nothing on me. Apart from the fact my head does not spin round! Joking aside, this is very real and very important for me. I will stay off this website for a week and not get too carried away with my writings. Next week I will say whether or not I did my first AF free week in ages. I so want to say to you all, I did it, cos that means I am a fraction of the way up this great mountain before me. I shall keep quiet and still in my soul and concentrate on the task ahead. I shall not be ashamed of what drink has made me do in the past. I will recognize it for what it is. to you all I send love and light and may the force be with you:thanks::l:h
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