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    Guilty as Charged

    My step dad just passed (Dec. 1st. 2pm) from Renal failure.A lifetime of Drugs and Alcohol finally did him in.Family members are all scrambling to come from all over the U.S to get together for a (Funeral service) or, more likely, to see if they are in the Will. I guess it is just human nature,MEGA BUCKS draw crowds.
    I just got home, last week, from running to a hospital because of an O.D from Drugs and Al with another family member.
    I've decided to let them ALL handle this funeral, themselves (out of self preservation}.I am gonna STAY HOME.I don't even want my name in the obituary.How can I stop that???
    I am feeling Guilty ALREADY.I don't want "Guilt" to push me into doing something that is bound to end in more pain for me.
    I sure could use with some support, Guys. PLEASE, HELP ME STICK TO MY DECISION !!!
    sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

    #2
    Guilty as Charged

    My condolences Evie Lou.

    When my business partner committed suicide four years ago I did not attend the service, people were horrified! But it wasn't their business and when they had the nerve to ask me why I simply said I needed to grieve in my own way. That is all that you need to tell them. You have my deepest sympathy.
    vegan zombies want your grains

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      #3
      Guilty as Charged

      I will light a candle for you first thing in the morning Evie that you do whatever is right for you in the long term. Im sorry about your step dad , what age was he?

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        #4
        Guilty as Charged

        Thanks, I really Love the idea of saying to people...Let me grieve in my own way..That will get some of them off my back.
        sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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          #5
          Guilty as Charged

          He was 82 ??? Limers
          sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

          Comment


            #6
            Guilty as Charged

            Fair play to him, he must have been very strong.

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              #7
              Guilty as Charged

              Do you know how tough a American Indian can Be???
              sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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                #8
                Guilty as Charged

                He was named HERON because of the Tribe he was born into.
                sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Guilty as Charged

                  Evie, as you probably know, we burried my father less than two weeks ago, after a nearly two month long illness. From the moment of my fathers stroke, my sister made life hell for my family and me, in the end, even before my father died, she had stolen everything from his home. What little cash he was leaving to us, she has also swindled..........my brother returned the night before my fathers death, he had not had any contact with family for more than 8 years, he did not even know that our mother had passed 2.5 years ago! But, before he left, he had gone through my fathers belongings and taken what he wanted!

                  I not only attended my fathers memorial, along with my children, we planned the whole thing. We put up with the drama and BS from my siblings etc..........in the end......my children and I surrounded ourselves with our love for each other and our dignity. I am at peace.

                  My point is this, you can rely on your sprirituality and your loved ones through this. It is a times like this that we show our conviction and what we are made of. I am not telling you that you must attend the funeral, nor am I saying that you must interact with any of these people. But, what ever you decide, I hope you can be at peace with it!

                  xxx Kate
                  A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                  AF 12/6/2007

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                    #10
                    Guilty as Charged

                    Evie, no judgments here. You're self-preservation has to come first and I think people will understand that you are grieving in your own way..

                    Thoughts are with you.
                    Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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                      #11
                      Guilty as Charged

                      EvieLou
                      You can grieve how you want to. It seems like you are being hit with a lot lately. Sending my love and support.
                      Lila

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                        #12
                        Guilty as Charged

                        Evielou, please move the shovel away from your plate my friend. You have enough as it is. I think Cyclefan stated it best. Please, for your own sake, stick to your decision. I pray that your stepdad crosses over quickly and that you will find strength and comfort in that. Know in your heart that we are always just a shout away to be at your side. Love, hugs, courage :lilangel:
                        :l
                        LTG AF January 13, 2011

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                          #13
                          Guilty as Charged

                          I can't stop crying. I got an E mail saying that my Mom would want me to be there for my younger brothers.
                          I don't believe that.She did ask me to watch over them but I know she didn't mean at my own well being.
                          sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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                            #14
                            Guilty as Charged

                            Too much stuff all at once.
                            Don't know if I can pass this life TEST???
                            sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Guilty as Charged

                              The bottom line is always self-preservation. Obviously, there will be plenty of people there. If you are inclined to go out of appearances, or duty... and on the other side of the equation is that it will be a zoo that will push all your buttons... I'd encourage you to give yourself a pass. You have enough on your hands.

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