Guilty as Charged

[A Work in Progress]

Guilty as Charged

Evie, people who are in the grips of psychopathology, alcoholism or otherwise, are often very determined to keep others within the same grip, and will use any kind of manipulation possible to keep others from getting healthy. My own family was very, very sick and I know how it works, and how it feels when they try to keep you dragged into it. Stay clear. You cannot help them or anyone else by giving in to their manipulation. A funeral is NEVER a mandatory event. There are all kinds of reasons that going to a funeral might be the worst possible choice for a person.

take care,

wip

[Evie.Lou]

Guilty as Charged

I can so identify with that WIP...I don't need it in my life !!!
It's hard not to fall into there trap but not as hard as trying to crawl out afterwords.

[Evie.Lou]

Guilty as Charged

Thanks for all your love and concern.It is making this whole thing bearable.
Thanks for your PMs and Phone numbers.I won't forget your kindness. Sorry for those that tried and couldn't get thru.I emptied it out now but please know I am doing OK now.
LOVE YA !!!!

[kriger]

Guilty as Charged

Evie,
I hope this whole mess irons itself out soon. In your heart you know what is BEST, I have no doubt. I am glad to hear you are doing a bit better. This storm should be over very soon and just a distant memory. I'm sending prayers to you right now. Kriger

[bestlifeldms]

Guilty as Charged

Evie.Lou,

You are not wrong to think of yourself. Remember, put on your own oxygen mask, first, or you can't help others. You know what feels right, for you to do... I know it has been mentioned, but be aware of others attempts to manipulate you to do what "THEY" want you to do. Focus on what is your best way to honor yourself in this situation.

Love, Best

[maddiva]

Guilty as Charged

OH EVIE LOU THAT IS AWFUL. PARTICULARLY AT THIS TIME OF YEAR. WELL TAKE IT REAL EASY AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF. GUILT IS NEVER A GOOD THING AND WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE GUILTY FOR?? AS FOR NOT BEING IN THE OBITUARY - ASK NOT TO BE MENTIONED, IF THAT IS WHAT YOU TRULY WANT. I NEVER WENT TO MY SISTER'S FUNERAL. I PUT A FLOWER OUTSIDE HER HOME AND HAD MY OWN PRIVATE CEREMONY. AND THEN WENT TO CHURCHES AND LIT CANDLES FOR HER. IT HELPED ME AND HER SON NOT TO ATTEND. PEOPLE MUST GRIEVE AS THEY WISH AND THEIR WISH MUST BE RESPECTED.

AND DON'T GIVE IN - COS YOU ARE STRONG. LIFE IS JUST SENT TO TRY YOU, NOW YOU MUST DIG DEEP IN YOUR SOUL AND BRING UP YOUR RESERVES...........YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS.

:h:l:h

[trixietrack]

Guilty as Charged

don't go. have a private service just you. he'll know

[brittzak]

Guilty as Charged

Evie...I buried my Mama in April....I cared for her for months here with my children while NO ONE in my family helped me until 2 months before her death when I finally BEGGED for help. My sister acted such a complete ass that my brother nor I attended the services...we were there with Mama when she passed and then we came home. Funerals are for those left living....do what is best for you. He has now passed.