Not fitting in

[Hopeful mom]

I take full responsibility for my inability to fit in anywhere here. I have tried to reach out...it's not working. I'm a Christian from the Southeast of US...don't think that my id makes me unusual, however have not connected. Realizing there are many established friendships...still feeling the void. In some cases, although I have a MA, I must state that I feel inadequate (academically) to add to conversations. In the instances that I have posted, I haven't connected with anyone. Obviously it is my problem, not yours. Just need real friends who are going through what I am. Please advise.

[gabby]

Not fitting in

I'm sorry you are feeling this way hopeful. I know lately around here its maybe felt a little weird to me too so you arent alone and for different reasons all together.

I want to encourage you not to give up as I also remember for me in the begining feeling strange too. Of course I was so wrapped up in my alcohol issues I had all kinds of feelings goin all over the place.

[A Work in Progress]

Not fitting in

I don't know which threads you have been posting on, or how often, but I think that getting and feeling connected here will happen if you post a lot, especially if you do so in a few of the threads in which people share goals with you. If you are working on getting free of alcohol, the daily AF thread is great (in Monthly Abstinence); a lot of people find the ODAT thread very helpful; the Army thread has great people, and is a lot of fun. The more time you spend here, reading and posting, the sooner you will find some threads and some people you click with.

Please don't worry about adding anything "academic" or new or earthshaking to the conversations; just talk about yourself, what you are going through, and respond to others. You'll be fine, I'm sure.

best wishes,

wip

[AAthlete]

Not fitting in

I would echo gabby's post. It can be tough to battle drinking while trying to find out place in a group. I know that I always isolated when drinking, and so had a natural tendency to sit on the sidelines while others talked.

I would encourage you to keep trying, and jump into threads whenever you can. Some of us can be windbags (like me), while others keep it short. My point would be that we are all in the same boat and know what each other is going through, so even though we are different as individuals we all share a common goal.

Best of luck to you and keep talking to us to let us know how you are doing.

[gabby]

Not fitting in

Hopeful I went and touched in on a few of your posts and no offence but I think your ARE fitting in just fine. So I think your probably just like me and its all in your head. LOL.
Honestly I mean that with all due respect...lol...not ment as mean at all cuz I KNOW how you feel but I really think your just like the rest of us here normal as normal comes and just relax and stick around.

[gabby]

Not fitting in

Also I think you did the best thing possible by letting us know how your feeling so we can ease your mind. :l

So thank you!

[sunshine_gg]

Not fitting in

Hi hopeful!

I kinda know what you mean... I sometimes WANT to add something but then retreat; what could I possibly contribute in my current messed up state?

I'm also wondering if we don't put ourselves into that 'not fitting in' place? I know I'm not alone in feeling very isolated (and quite purposely so, after all - we are desperately trying to hide something). Just a thought - humor me

In any case, please don't give up on this wonderful place of support. I reckon that, much like in 'real' life you can't connect with EVERYBODY and getting to know anyone will take a little time.

All my best to you!
gg

[C&C Mom]

Not fitting in

Hopeful,

I understand that many here have very established friendships and that is natural for them to have a bond. Just keep posting and adding whatever you FEEL. I have and I am fairly new and have found many to be so welcoming and very positive with encouragement.

You are welcome, as we all are. The best way for people to get to know you is to post so that can get to know you. I am looking forward to hearing more from you!! It's a journey that we all are traveling alone and yet together.....there is a bond for sure with all of us as we know how this addiction can be & that within itself makes us instantly bonded.

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Not fitting in

Hi Hopeful mom,

Hang in there and just keep posting, it is natural for all of us to feel this way at times. :welcome:

Luvya,

Myheart

[kaponium]

Not fitting in

Have felt the same a bit lately, Hope...Have been on site for a few weeks now, and am going to start some threads of own>>>what you think? Anyway, I think WIP is right - the AF daily thread and the AF monthly abstinence thread are two of the more REAL ones, in my opinion - not so much "clicky chat" going down. I am also active in AA - it has saved my life MANY times. Also, being a way down here in NZ, the time zones make it a little difficult to keep up on this site. All very best, keep posting

[akgirl]

Not fitting in

Ditto to the above. Its easy to get lost around here. I actually tried taking notes on a few people so I felt like I "knew" them better, only to not see them around anymore. I think people retreat when they feel like you. But that's when you should reach out more. ODAT is a pretty small group, I found is easier to keep up there. At first I also found a PM buddy who I talk with daily, she has become a lifelong friend.

Good luck to you :l Don't give up, we are here for you.

Ak

[boozehag]

Not fitting in

Guys
You just have to be brave and jump right in and just put yourself out there! There are so many people and so many time zones that it is sometimes hard to connect and people are also at different stages of their MWO journey. Also a good idea is to send pm's to people you feel you can help or that you feel you may have a connection with. That way you can get some direct connections going. Also threads move pretty fast so unless you are all on at the same time often your not always going to get a direct response. If you have questions its best to start your own thread then you will get a direct response.
BH
BH

[kaponium]

Not fitting in

hi akgirl - me too with the PM thing - it's grand! We are a sensitive lot (as a rule) and I find it easy to feel "left out" . I am really glad hopeful brought this subject up, I realise it had been on my mind. I love the site, and am goind to stick to three sites for now....ODAT, Monthly AF, And Daily AF. Be nice to get to know you a bit better....what is your time zone? Here it is 4.55pm Wednesday.

[kaponium]

Not fitting in

Well said, BH - just got to jump right in....Obviously we have all earned the ticket to be here. Misery is optional/pain is inevitable!!!

[tawnyfrog]

Not fitting in

Hi HopefulMom - I was going to suggest you hop into 'Chat' but see you're in there!!!! That's often a wonderful way to connect with people. Well done.