Looking In The Mirror...

[AAthlete]

As I got ready for work this morning and was shaving my ugly mug, I made me realize how much a house of cards my life used to be.

You see, I suffered from very low self-esteem (among other things) and so drank to make myself feel better. When drunk I could build up this illusion of the person that I wanted to be.... I was the best cyclists around, I was in great shape, people naturally gravitated to me... I could really be anyone that I wanted to when drinking.

But, on occasion I would catch a site of myself in the mirror. Wait - who is that person? Who is that with the disheveled hair, the glassy eyes and the drawn face? The person I was could ride a bicycle faster than anyone and beloved by all... This person in the mirror is a drunk - how shameful. And it would all come crashing down around me.

It is amazing to me what we do to ourselves to make us feel better; to prop ourselves up. I realize that I just couldn't admit to myself how far down I had sunk. The one thing I now know is that there is always hope and people can always change - you just have to be willing to 'look into the mirror.'

[maddiva]

Looking In The Mirror...

Well I do hope you do like what you see cos you have sent some inspirational words to me. So that means you is CLASS A!!!!! But yeh!! Know what you mean about self esteem and thinking 'oddly'.

[beatle]

Looking In The Mirror...

When I was a drinker, I almost never looked at myself in the mirror (even though it is there right over the sink... kind of hard to avoid, isn't it?). Now, I am often surprised to "notice" myself in front of me-- and even like what I see. Yes, it's quite a discovery! I wish I had looked at myself sooner, though, really looked, so I would have had to face up sooner than I did.

[A Work in Progress]

Looking In The Mirror...

I used to regularly look in the mirror, see the sadness and devastation, and apologize to the person I saw there. But the apologies never changed my behavior. Now I look in the mirror, and I can smile. No apologies necessary. What a relief!

[southernbelle47]

Looking In The Mirror...

Well said AA..

Nancy

[cymru]

Looking In The Mirror...

Thank you AA. Thats a great post. I look at this bloated person in the mirror and realise how happy i used to be. Its so important to start liking yourself again.

[cyclefan]

Looking In The Mirror...

I always beat myself up in the shower. It got a little better after I quit smoking and now it is getting better by not drinking but boy can we ever get on with those self recriminations. I think the MWO tapes have helped a lot with my self-esteem as well.