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Army Thread 4th December 2008

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    #46
    Army Thread 4th December 2008

    KP, I can understand both yours and your mums views....in many ways the sad fact is our loved ones cant help us really.
    My mum drives me nuts so I try to stay away from any contentious topics. Its one of those life lessons I am afraid, we just have to learn to switch off and deal with the way others react to us. If we really find it hard, we have to limit our time with them. Just like they cant change us, we cant change them either. I have become pretty good at biting my tongue these days :-)

    Glad you had a lovely sleep I could do with one too....
    Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
    Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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      #47
      Army Thread 4th December 2008

      I have no christmas tree and done no shopping....shhh dont tell slimeball
      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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        #48
        Army Thread 4th December 2008

        Lips are sealed....
        Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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          #49
          Army Thread 4th December 2008

          Going to have some lunch and 'Ill be back'!
          To Infinity And Beyond!!

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            #50
            Army Thread 4th December 2008

            Oh yes, and I used to blame my mum for driving me to drink all the time....she didnt really it was just the way i reacted.....

            Thanks for keeping my secret AA
            Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
            Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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              #51
              Army Thread 4th December 2008

              I hear you Starting. I used to think that everybody else had issues and I was fine.

              My big thing was - "if only people would do everything MY way, then it would all be correct. But you people are just idiots and well, hell, I just need a drink to deal with you!"
              Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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                #52
                Army Thread 4th December 2008

                Good morning, all. Cold day here, I think that every year I find it harder to adjust to cold! Maybe I will spend next winter in Florida... we'll see how all that works out. Wondering if I have the energy to start a new business in a new location, and whether that has even the slightest chance of succeeding, especially in this economy...

                Cy, I agree with Starting. Most people are very poor at communication skills, and cannot or will not understand that repeating the same critical, blaming statements over and over is NOT helpful in getting the other person to change. Your mother has a single-track mind on the subject, that's all she knows how to do with her worry (and anger), and by gawd that IS all she will do. You just have to accept that, and give up any hope or expectation that she will change that pattern. My mother is, or was, very much like that. I never stopped having times when I was somewhat hurt and angry about it, but I managed, with practice, to stop expecting her to change. Once your expectations have changed, you will be able to relax a bit more, and tune it out a bit better, recognizing it's just one of those things you cannot change (repeat the Serenity Prayer, perhaps?).

                Maddie, good to see you posting here!

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                  #53
                  Army Thread 4th December 2008

                  Morning folks!

                  *yawn* God, you are chatty for this time of day! :H Of course, it isn't morning for all of you.

                  Cymru, the only thing I can suggest is to try and gently change topics. I can't really talk to my mom about anything deep - it just doesn't work and that's how it is. When things get sticky, I bring up something else.

                  'Started' Christmas shopping yesterday, but no tree yet, etc. and we're going away tonight until Sunday. So, maybe next weekend. Of course, I also have plans for next weekend... hmmm... LOL I'm going (at least that's the plan) riding - really need my horse fix. I'm living at my b/f house for the winter and my horse is 6 hours away - I'm so having horse withdrawal.

                  Anyways, better get going, someone is coming this morning to look at my car; wish me luck with selling it!

                  Have a blissful Thursday, everyone!
                  Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

                  Winning since October 24th, 2013

                  Comment

                    #54
                    Army Thread 4th December 2008

                    Thanks all. Suppose its down to me to stop it by stopping drinking. Once i get some alc free time under my belt all this will stop. So that is what i shall do!
                    To Infinity And Beyond!!

                    Comment

                      #55
                      Army Thread 4th December 2008

                      Cy, I went through a lot of the same things with my wife. I would get sober for a period of time and expect all to be forgotten and forgiven - but it never worked that way and I would get upset when it was brought up time and time again (thrown in my face was how I put it). Took awhile to realize that my wife was just scared.. She had seen me stop so many times only to start again and she didn't trust me, AND it scared the hell out of her to think about emotionally opening herself back up to me.

                      It takes time, my friend, for them to build that trust back up and let us in. Have patience, and try to remember when talking to her that she is hurting too. We have so show them that we have changed through our actions, and not always our words.
                      Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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                        #56
                        Army Thread 4th December 2008

                        Thanks AA. i do realise that things will not be change for a lenghy period. I really do, and i understand her being scared. If it was Erin id be terrified. Its just that i wish we could talk things through like i do with Wish and yourselves, rather than tell me everything ive done wrong, which i know.
                        To Infinity And Beyond!!

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                          #57
                          Army Thread 4th December 2008

                          I know Cy and remember, she isn't perfect either, right? She may not be fighting the alcohol battle, but just like the rest of us is set in her ways and has plenty of other faults.

                          Well, at least you guys do... :H
                          Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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                            #58
                            Army Thread 4th December 2008

                            startingover;485778 wrote: I have no christmas tree and done no shopping....shhh dont tell slimeball
                            Starts...this is an OUTRAGE!!!!

                            Do you realise its only 21 days till christmas , ive to go and get Emma now but I will be back....wont forget this!

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                              #59
                              Army Thread 4th December 2008

                              I don't have my tree up. It's no fun to do it alone. Maybe I can guilt grandkids into it this weekend. I used to get so excited over it. Hubs doesn't come home til night, never takes a day off. Poor, poor, pitiful me!! Oops, maid is here! Oh joy!!!
                              sigpic
                              Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                              awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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                                #60
                                Army Thread 4th December 2008

                                God Ruby - you just brought back some old memories.

                                When I was growing up my family used to go to my grandma's house every year after Thanksgiving, get out her tree and lights, and do all the decorating for her. I had completely forgotten about that (she passed away many years ago)....

                                Wonderful women - you could go to church and pick her out of the crowd in a second. She was the one singing hymns two keys off from everyone else!
                                Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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