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    #1

    Leaving for a while

    I have been here since September and for the most part it has been very helpful to read everyone's story and to share mine. I posted my feelings on "Family Members Affected by Drinking" thinking it was a safe zone to share my anguish and emotions.
    But, I was deeply hurt today when I read about having to get "off my high horse". It was very unkind and unnecessary.
    I have done nothing but being supportive and gone through emotional Hell to help and stand-by my husband.
    I know one member's opinion does not take away everything wonderful that I have found here or tarnish all the great people who are here.
    I am taking some time off from MWO to reevaluate my presence.
    Merry Christmas and a Happy Healthy New Year to all of those who have been there for me. I will be thinking about you.
    Waiting. :h
    Tags: None
    #2
    Leaving for a while

    Waiting, I just read the post you are referring to. Please, consider the source okay? I don't think you should leave. You are posting what you need to and in the appropriate place. You have been helped here and you have helped many others. Please stay with your friends :h
    :l
    LTG AF January 13, 2011

    Comment

      #3
      Leaving for a while

      Waiting...I think you should only leave for YOUR own reasons, whatever they be. But not because of anyones posts. When you post your thoughts here, you must be ready for whatever the response might be. You didn't care for Gycos and you told him so. Compare his one negative post to all the good, caring and supportive posts you have received here. Then make your choice.

      I think Determinatix stated it best. She has been there time and again. I hope you stay, IF you are getting what you need from this site. As stated, you cannot help your husband until he helps himself. Please live your life as best you can, you deserve it. Don't let anyone take away the best you can be.
      Hugs to you.

      R2C
      Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. --Confucius
      :h

      Comment

        #4
        Leaving for a while

        I am just leaving for a while. Be back after the New Year.
        I hope the Holidays go well for everyone, just remember life is worth living and you need to make every moment count. Don't waste it away.
        Love, W

        Comment

          #5
          Leaving for a while

          I hope you have a great Christmas and New Year Waiting. My the festive period bring you peace, love and happiness and i look forward to speaking to you in the new year.
          All the best.
          Cym
          To Infinity And Beyond!!

          Comment

            #6
            Leaving for a while

            ready2change;492568 wrote: When you post your thoughts here, you must be ready for whatever the response might be. You didn't care for Gycos and you told him so. Compare his one negative post to all the good, caring and supportive posts you have received here.
            Very well said R2C

            There were so many wonderful ones, don't focus on one bad. And don't feel you should leave because of it.
            I think having a family member of "one of us" so to speak, for me is extremely helpful. It has helped me to read how what I do affects my family, and has given me strength. What you have to share is important and it would be sad for you to go.

            :l
            ak
            :flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.

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              #7
              Leaving for a while

              Ditto what others have said.

              And, when you come back: I recommend that you use the "ignore" feature. It's very helpful.

              Best wishes,

              wip

              Comment

                #8
                Leaving for a while

                Waiting- I hope your Holidays are peaceful and pleasant. Please come talk if you need us before you plan to. I'm with AKgirl, your posts are extremly helpful to me. They kinda help me stay in check with family reality....anyway,
                I will miss hearing from you over the Holiday.
                Take care.
                :l
                :teeter:JAMMS

                "I'm safe.. up high...no one can touch me...why do I feel this party's over?...."

                "no pain..inside...you're my protection...how do I feel this good SOBER?!"

                Comment

                  #9
                  Leaving for a while

                  Waiting--Best wishes to you. I truly hope your husband finds his way out. If not, I hope you find your peace somehow. Everyone deserves to be happy.
                  _______________
                  NF since June 1, 2008
                  AF since September 28, 2008
                  DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                  _____________
                  :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                  5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                  _______________
                  The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Leaving for a while

                    LTV25 and all.. I am still here for a little bit.
                    I am scared because I am not crying anymore and sometimes I don't feel anything. I used to be so hurt and felt such pain and heartache. I am not sure what this means, but in a strange way I am worried that I am distancing myself and with that will come indifference. I loved him so much, maybe too much.
                    I am not even sure I am making sense.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Leaving for a while

                      Waiting for his way out;492862 wrote: LTV25 and all.. I am still here for a little bit.
                      I am scared because I am not crying anymore and sometimes I don't feel anything. I used to be so hurt and felt such pain and heartache. I am not sure what this means, but in a strange way I am worried that I am distancing myself and with that will come indifference. I loved him so much, maybe too much.
                      I am not even sure I am making sense.
                      It is a very very difficult path for you, one I don't pretend to fully understand but one I can empathize with. Sometimes "right" answers seem so wrong, and "wrong" answers seem so right and it is truly heartwrenching to even continue the efforts to wade through how you should be, and how you should or shouldn't react, and so on. Sometimes people can come on very strong with "shoulds" ... and plant them on you emphatically, regardless of whether the "shoulds" that may have worked for them are "shoulds" that will work for you.

                      Sometimes nothing seems to work at all. Or maybe most times.

                      On top of that, sometimes you take a "hit" with a comment or observation from another or others and it can really sting. Here you've put yourself way "out there" emotionally and revealed much about yourself, and it can be more than upsetting and unpleasant if it seems one (or more) says something not so nice, and/or based upon assumptions about you that simply are not true.

                      In the past I've reacted very poorly and very angrily when something like that happened, and I regret some of my actions in response.

                      It seems you are giving yourself a chance to reflect, collect yourself, and allow others to support you in your difficult efforts. And I see that as just another one of your strengths.

                      Keep trying as best YOU can, keep looking for YOUR way, and try to ease some of that burden and blame too-often heaped upon ourselves. Some things are simply not in your control. Even others posting here.

                      Best to you and have a great holiday season.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Leaving for a while

                        waiting dont go, just posted you on another thread about mssing goldie, why do all the good ones who are prepared to give straight opinions get a nasty comment, rise above it waiting and yippee just seen a post from WIP, lets stick together xx
                        Keeps x:happyheart:

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Leaving for a while

                          Tiresias;492886 wrote: It is a very very difficult path for you, one I don't pretend to fully understand but one I can empathize with. Sometimes "right" answers seem so wrong, and "wrong" answers seem so right and it is truly heartwrenching to even continue the efforts to wade through how you should be, and how you should or shouldn't react, and so on. Sometimes people can come on very strong with "shoulds" ... and plant them on you emphatically, regardless of whether the "shoulds" that may have worked for them are "shoulds" that will work for you.

                          Sometimes nothing seems to work at all. Or maybe most times.

                          On top of that, sometimes you take a "hit" with a comment or observation from another or others and it can really sting. Here you've put yourself way "out there" emotionally and revealed much about yourself, and it can be more than upsetting and unpleasant if it seems one (or more) says something not so nice, and/or based upon assumptions about you that simply are not true.

                          In the past I've reacted very poorly and very angrily when something like that happened, and I regret some of my actions in response.

                          It seems you are giving yourself a chance to reflect, collect yourself, and allow others to support you in your difficult efforts. And I see that as just another one of your strengths.

                          Keep trying as best YOU can, keep looking for YOUR way, and try to ease some of that burden and blame too-often heaped upon ourselves. Some things are simply not in your control. Even others posting here.

                          Best to you and have a great holiday season.
                          wow you are something special - well said :h
                          Keeps x:happyheart:

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Leaving for a while

                            Waiting for him -

                            Enjoy your family for the holidays.
                            Hope to see you next year.

                            Dx
                            * * I love Determinator * *

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Leaving for a while

                              my dear yur making a lot of sense,i hav to stand by u,my wife of 32 years,has gone thro the same,somtimes i wish her on here to seee im not alone,wifes husbands al go thro this terror,somtimes to find releif and more at times not to,he has to find a way,you my dear one, will never do it,thnx for yur post, brings reality back to me, gyco

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