Playing with fire?

[Mackeral]

Playing with fire?

No

[A Work in Progress]

Playing with fire?

Good for you, Macks. Sometimes being a Dad (and husband) means doing stuff even though it is not what you think will make you happy. I will never forget a casual remark I once heard my father make, as he pulled the cork from the neck of a whisky bottle (it made a squeaking sound that I can hear in my mind, right now): "The most cheerful sound in the world." He really meant it. He loved alcohol. He looked forward to that first drink of the day, every day. And his drinking (along with my mother's) made our family life a living hell, for my entire childhood. If only... (I know that "if onlies" are worthless... but....) if only he had give up that one thing that he enjoyed and looked forward to... he could have been a good Dad. But, sad to say, although he did love me, and I surely loved him, so much: he was far from being a good Dad.

[bestlifeldms]

Playing with fire?

Wow! What a great thread! I love a good love story! Macks, Lisa must , truely, be your other half. Man, you can feel her love, clear through cyber space! Contratulations, you two! Have a great Christmas and New Years! Tears in my eyes on this one. Love, Best

[Evie.Lou]

Playing with fire?

Great choice Macs......NO...NO...NO !!!!!

[Tiresias]

Playing with fire?

It really is a great thread -- and I'll say I don't think I was ever as honest and open about such a thing (with alcohol, anyway) as Mackeral and Lisa have been here.

I am pulled to add more, but will hold off, probably because I should, and mostly because I'm in a rush to get out the door....

But I just hope for you, Mackeral, that you don't get too twisted up inside about this either way. It's a tough spot either way you slice it. Perhaps try not to get too twisted out of shape with thoughts of being "deprived" and getting upset at yourself and others over that "deprivation." The addiction has an awful tug, and will try every angle to speak to you. At least it does for me.

Best to you and your family.

[gabby]

Playing with fire?

love you macks and lisa.....

[gabby]

Playing with fire?

Im confused is cymru lisa as in Mrs Macks?

[cymru]

Playing with fire?

No, it was an old post from a couple of months ago gabby that i copied and posted as i thought it significant.

[Chief]

Playing with fire?

You're doing a great job, Macks....

Remember, all The Beast wants you to do is "just consider" taking a drink......he just wants to put that on the table as an option.

And it seems he has succeeded. So the next move is yours, and The Beast is just waiting.
It's really very simple, Macks.......is taking a drink an option? Is it on the damn table or not? Who's in charge here.....you or are you allowing The Beast to call the shots?

This is classic Beast, Macks.....he can be very subtle, but never forget The Beasts only goal is to get you to go back to your old ways. He will tell you you can handle it....you deserve it....the holidays won't be the same.....blah, blah, blah....

But if you are completely honest with yourself and look the man in the mirror in the eyes, you will see this is just a ploy by The Beast......

Don't be fooled......see this for what it is.

Don

[Mackeral]

Playing with fire?

I dont see drink as "The Beast" If anything, "I am the Beast".
Drink is an inanimate object. Somthing that to other people is a friend. Something that can bring people closer together and lighten a mood, help them unwind and relax them at the end of a hard and stressful day or..even year.
If anything is or becomes a Beast..Its me.

[startingover]

Playing with fire?

You are not a beast macks, its the drink that does that.

[A Work in Progress]

Playing with fire?

Mackeral;493953 wrote: I dont see drink as "The Beast" If anything, "I am the Beast".
Drink is an inanimate object. Somthing that to other people is a friend. Something that can bring people closer together and lighten a mood, help them unwind and relax them at the end of a hard and stressful day or..even year.
If anything is or becomes a Beast..Its me.

I think I get your point... the "Beast" is not the substance itself. But the "Beast" is not really YOU, either, or at least not all of you.

The "Beast" is the "voice" within you, or the internalized messages about alcohol, that tell you that alcohol brings happiness, brings people closer together, etc. If we allow ourselves to indulge in nostalgic, romanticized thoughts (distorted thinking) about alcohol... then we have little chance of staying free from destroying ourselves with the stuff, the inanimate substance, the poison we put into our lives, our brains, our minds, our families...

A huge part of this battle is the "mind game." Keeping a careful watch for distorted thinking about alcohol is so important. Maybe, at this point, Macks, you don't agree with that. I don't know. If not, then I hope someday you will, because when you do, it will be such a relief to you to realize you don't have to long for alcohol and regret its loss. You can put all that aside, and get on with having a really good and meaningful life... once you put aside the alcohol and all the thoughts about how it can make things "better."

[gabby]

Playing with fire?

cymru....ok, that really messed me up there. thanks for clarifying. (sometimes I scare myself)

wip that was so sad what you said about your dad and stuff...

[Heavenly]

Playing with fire?

Macks .. all I see is you sitting there trying to justify in your mind (kinda one half talking to the other half) about how you can moderate, how you can truly do this, just a few, after all you just did it already ....

I see myself 2-3 years ago doing what you are trying to do now ... and I couldn't not like that ... I do miss it sometimes, but I drink non-alcoholic lager or beer to compensate ... no-one knows. If they ask I tell them I'm driving or on a diet etc ....

Only you know ... but by coming here and telling us you do know that we are not going to agree with it or tell you "go ahead, you can drink" ... when we kinda know you can't.

If you aren't ready to stop drinking (and it took me 24 years to come to this conclusion) then you will always be asking yourself these questions.
We have seen what happens to those who are unfortunate not to be able to control/stop drinking ... loss of health with regards to liver failure + death, heart failure + death, digestive problems, mental health problems including violence and depression and ultimately loss of family, house and job, homelessness and early death.

Harsh, I may be, but I had to consider these things myself when I decided enough is enough. Lets not 'mamby pamby' around the issues here. And lets cut to the chase .... what do YOU want ???

Anyone can pm me for support, I am only 20 months down the line but even a small word to others can help ... so anyone who can give support should offer ....

Regards

Heavenly

[gyco]

Playing with fire?

hi mac and mrs mac i here you,hopefully yur both togehther still,mac i hate to say it yur just like me,in ways,yur not wrong,its called control,we never had to, life around us stated that,we were tot tht,to drink,until we went wrong AL takes over our lives,got to stop being so hard on yurself, ive found cause im around people tht most of the time mod,normal drinking,not somthing we use to understand,until now,yikes christmas new years dag what do we do, we get blitzed,hahaha,then we worry wht the f........k did i do last nt,and we listen to others tht were more blitzed then us,im not condoning what you do is rt,this year if yur going to drink,my receipe drink,rest,1 hour,hav som water,drink,and i dont mean the hole frikkin bottle,rest water,think of what you mt do with yur loved one,tht means yur partner hahahah,cuse from all the water youll have to take a pea and stay awake,hahahaha,i guess maybe its easy for me,i hav yung adults tht drink,hav to pik them up,when there finished doin there things,drinking hahaha,they lerned tht from me,and so on,do i feel guilty no, 1st time in 37 years,it twas not my fault,when the head starts spinning say no,youve over dosed,mac mrds mac yu hav a wonderful christmas and i hope for you both,it is what you want , by the way yur both are very special along with many others here in my heart gyco