Playing with fire?
Hi Macks
Sounds like you are really struggling. I remember thinking that your attitude might be problematic when you went into the sobriety period this time because you clearly regarded it as being deprived, as though you had done something wrong so you were punished with being forced into sobriety.
I don't think Christmas is a good time to experiment to be honest. If something goes wrong, everyone is around to see it (did you read the office party stories?) and then your family might have a bad holiday.
I think you are right that the beast motif doesn't ring true (doesn't for me either) and also that people use alcohol to unwind. But for you, it's not about having fun or unwinding is it? It's about a lot of pain for you and your loved ones.
I have to admit that I haven't read all of your older posts so I wonder if you have tried other kinds of medications than antibuse. If this is the way you are really feeling, seems like something like topamax, campral or naltrexone might be better for you as these will take cravings away and if you do drink, you will be less likely to overdo it.
Good luck and take care,
Nancy
Hi Macks
Sounds like you are really struggling. I remember thinking that your attitude might be problematic when you went into the sobriety period this time because you clearly regarded it as being deprived, as though you had done something wrong so you were punished with being forced into sobriety.
I don't think Christmas is a good time to experiment to be honest. If something goes wrong, everyone is around to see it (did you read the office party stories?) and then your family might have a bad holiday.
I think you are right that the beast motif doesn't ring true (doesn't for me either) and also that people use alcohol to unwind. But for you, it's not about having fun or unwinding is it? It's about a lot of pain for you and your loved ones.
I have to admit that I haven't read all of your older posts so I wonder if you have tried other kinds of medications than antibuse. If this is the way you are really feeling, seems like something like topamax, campral or naltrexone might be better for you as these will take cravings away and if you do drink, you will be less likely to overdo it.
Good luck and take care,
Nancy
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