A call to moms who struggle with booze

[momof3tobe]

Hi there, I am totally new here. I tried to search for some threads or posts related to my "issue" but couldn't find one to jump on board so I wanted to start my own. About me: I am a mom of 2 small children and one due in March 09. I have been battling by binge drinking patters for about 8 years now--so before I was married. I know I am a problem drinker. As in, when I drink, it's a problem--but often and for days and weeks and even months I can go without. The longest periods of sobreity are during my pregnancies and the worst times seem to be right after birth! I did okay for the most part during my first 2 pregnancies--had a handful of binges (maybe 5 or so)...This pregnancy started out very good. I was totally sober for about 16 weeks,then slowly began to drink--with control. But this has slowly lead down the road to where I have binged now way more than I want to remember. To be dead honesty (and please don't bash me!) I am on about 10 days sober and one night of excess. Now although this is terrible, I don't drink until passing out, but I do go over the "5 drink" binge limit. I have thought about posting on regular pregnancy forums, but I find mothers with no drinking issues are so disgusted with such behavior, I would be stoned to death over there--maybe I deserve it. I have beat myself up enough. I have read every thing there is to know about FAS, FAE, etc. On the outside I look and people perceive me as a "normal" person who drinks occasionally (obviously I do most of my drinking away from everyone). I have had 2 home births and plan this one at home as well, so I look quite holistic from the outside. Awful huh! Anyway, can any moms share their experience and how they dealt with the cravings, guilt, shame, hubby, docs etc. during their pregnancy Greatly appreciated! Oh boy, my load is a little less.

[cymru]

A call to moms who struggle with booze

I am male, so im afraid i cant help with drinking while pregnant. But what i do read into your post is that you blame yourself alot for this and seem to think that its all your fault and that you are not worth much. What you must remember momo is that you are ill. You, and me have an illness. Alcoholism is not something that you are choosing to do from what i read. But you are addicted, and your body is craving booze. alcoholism is a disease, and you need to say that to yourself. But its your body, and you are in control of it. You DO have a choice. there are 2 factors in the battle. You and alcohol. Unlike other diseases, we can get rid of the one factor that is killing us if we choose too.
Its great that you have posted and opened up. That is a big start. I hope you get some good responses from those maybe in a similar situation to you. And there are many momo. I have read many. You are not alone here. All the best. Cym.

[river0123]

A call to moms who struggle with booze

Yes, other boards can be brutal. I was on a mommy board, then a dieting board and they all crucified me when I said I couldn't lose weight because I couldn't quit drinking. That was seven years ago so was quite hesitant to join a board again, but found the exact opposite here - just love & support!
So a warm welcome to you ~ you're among friends, united by a common problem and common goal.:welcome::l

[Sarasmiles]

A call to moms who struggle with booze

Hi and Welcome, Momof3tobe,

I'm a mom of three now. I don't know anything that can fill a woman with more shame than being a mom with a drinking problem. I think I'm a wonderful mother in many ways, but struggle with the stress and have used alcohol to try and calm it...Then suffered from the effects, and the guilt.

I started a thread called, Are We Having Fun Yet? The Joys and Stresses of Parenting. I don't know how to do a link for you to click on, (sorry, I'm not much of a computer user) but you can scroll down under forum jump to Monthly Moderation, and then look for the thread. Lots and lots of moms are struggling with this, and will welcome you, without judgement. Sara

[momof3tobe]

A call to moms who struggle with booze

Thanks for the posts! Yes I sent the other mom Isleofskye a PM. I also read the thread from Sarasmiles...but you gals seem to hold it together during pregnancy!!! How did you manage?!?! Ahh...I will check this thread throughout the day--my new highlight! Thanks again

[MyOwnWoman]

A call to moms who struggle with booze

Somehow, most gratefully, after many years of heavy beer drinking when I was pregnant 12 years ago a couple sips of beer made me feel sick. Plus, I was confined to bed rest half of my pregnancy so couldn't go get any booze anyway. But now, as a mom, I do well know the guilt of not living up to my aspirations as a mom because I have this drinking problem getting in the way. I've come a long way since being on this site - I drink much MUCH less than I used to - but still....

What I have learned is that guilt is NOT an effective motivating factor. Let it go. Just stop beating yourself up. When thoughts enter telling you bad things about yourself, just tell the thoughts to go away. Anxiety and other negative emotions aren't good for your baby either. Focus on wellness and wholeness, do what you can to curb your drinking, and eat really good food and drink lots of water and pure juice. Focus on all the good that you are doing for your growing babe. What we think about perpetuates itself. Think of wellness and let that wellness grow as your baby does.

Best wishes to you, momof3tobe.

[brittzak]

A call to moms who struggle with booze

First of all welcome to MWO. I did not drink when I was pregnant with my children so I can not offer advice in that area...HOWEVER, I am a mother of 2. I didn't drink back when I was having my children...my problem started when I was 33. But, I have put myself and my children in situations I am very ashamed of because of my drinking. No judgement being pssed here. Welcome...I hope you find the support you need.