I really hate my self after bad drinking

[ylfa]

Hello there. As you can see in old letters I have tried one things or two in the drinking area. I one have drunk badly three times this year. It takes me like months to recover. I drink like I have never tasted wine before. I end up in blackout in many ours. I do not know nothing what I have been doing but I know I was walking around bars. The day after is horrible. Just God he must have been helping me that nothing very bad has happened for me ( like attacts or rape)
Now this is it, I promise my self one more time. I can not do this anymore. My body can not survive or my nerves even though I drink like 4 -5 times in year and 3 times badly.
I am shamed of my self. I dont know what people saw me or know me. What I sad or did.
I feel lonly and everything is terrible and that is bad feeling just for christmas.
What have you done in situation like this?
How can I answer people who comment maybe about me drinking.
I do not want to meet any people but I have to work. Are any of you drinker like me who drink often until you do crazy things or blackouts? How long time are you recovering?
Please help me and tell my some storys so I dont feel so alone.
Take care,
Ylfa

[summer_holiday]

I really hate my self after bad drinking

hi! you sound like me when i first posted. no hope, no anything. oops meant to say can't remember anything lol!!! that's just my way, laughing about things. it doesn't make them any less serious, it just (for me and maybe for you) more bearable. or endurable. mountains to climb, hills to try and climb whilst coughing and spluttering......it's all a battle. we are all here and doing exactly the same! take care xxxxx summer xxxxxx

[keepwalking]

I really hate my self after bad drinking

hang in there!! and a big warm welcome xxx what made you drink on the last occasion what triggered you to go and have that first drink?? have you read the mwo book?? keep reading and keep posting and if like me keep walking!! soory cant be of more help but i am a light but often drinker, lots here who can help though, stay with us x

[Accountable for Me]

I really hate my self after bad drinking

Hi there. Are you saying you binge drink 4-5 times a year? And that you are craving these binges 3 times a year?

I can relate to the binge drinking but mine were like every couple of days for a few days. I could even go weeks drinking daily or nightly.

You definitely want to curb the binging seeing you are out in public and black out. That can be very dangerous.

Seeing you are drinking a few times a year, can you just try to NOT drink when this comes about? I really don't know what to suggest, but with your pattern, you are looking at either alcohol poisoning, being physically harmed by someone or even possibly death.

Have you talked about this with anyone in your 'real' life? Talking about it here is a great start.

If I can think of anything to suggest to you, I will get back here and post it. Binge drinking sucks and it is dangerous. I can understand seeing I binge drank myself for years.

[ylfa]

I really hate my self after bad drinking

Hello and thank you for your answer. I try to be sober all the time. But if I start to drink I can not stop. No I do not crave drinks until I drink. I drink to because I want to change. I was just bored last weekend and start to drink in one bar and ended in hell. I have long story of alcohol abuse . I have always been a problem drinker.
Take care
Ylfa

[DelphicAbstract]

I really hate my self after bad drinking

I can relate to this problem. I can go a long time without drinking (but I drink much more than a few times a year!) but each time I do I need to call friends the next day to find out what I did/said. I also feel horrible guilt for a long time after-- and feel so undeservedly lucky when nothing horrible happens. I think this may be more common around youngish women. The only thing that works for me is to stick to diet coke, tea, and cigarettes. And when I'm at a party or bar and it's just too hard to do that-- I jump in a cab, go home and put on a movie that I love. People think I'm rude sometimes for racing out of a party with no goodbyes-- but we must keep ourselves out of harms way!

[KateH1]

I really hate my self after bad drinking

ylfa, Welcome. It seems that there are many different drinking patterns. But, for alcoholics and problem drinkers, the outcome is the same. Not being able to stop with one or two drinks, drinking ourselves into blackouts, embarrasing ourselves and our loved ones, and yes, that horrible depression when we finally sober up! I think most of us can tell you that many times, after drinking, while still in the deep, dark depression, with a hangover......we, once again, swear to ourselves that we will never drink again! But, unfortunately, we feel better and in a short while, we are right back where we started!

When I stopped drinking for good, nearly a year ago, I did not make any empty promises to myself. I realized that I needed to become a non-drinker. I wanted to learn to live my life in a healthy and sane way. I found this site, I read the book, bought the supplements, I read other books on how to change life patterns, I made a plan.....actually wrote my plan out on a legal pad....and I started to "Live My Plan", yes, there were some rough spots.....times when my old thinking of how I needed, or deserved to a have a drink or two! But, instead.....I would go back to my "Plan" and work through those urges. It took a lot of work, a lot of resolve......but today I am a non-drinker, the thought of drinking is no longer acceptable to me. If I can do this, you and anyone else can do this. And I can honestly say......It is a Wonderful Way to Live!
Best Wishes,
Kate