drowning in a bad relationship

[inhiding]

Hey,
Anyone out there that has been 1.5 yrs into a divorce and got stupid and signed a dismissal even though they knew it was just for the kids and the financial security? I am drinking more than even.....slowed down when the partner was out of here... but here we are again...... in seperate rooms.....doing seperate things...........avoiding the issue of his affair......................he is just punishing me for me wanting out relationship back.............I am the reason he can't be running thru the green pastures again kicking up his heals and havind his way with any filly he wants...........am I hurt and angry.....udamrite.

[Tiresias]

drowning in a bad relationship

bottomsup;501264 wrote: Hey,
Anyone out there that has been 1.5 yrs into a divorce and got stupid and signed a dismissal even though they knew it was just for the kids and the financial security? I am drinking more than even.....slowed down when the partner was out of here... but here we are again...... in seperate rooms.....doing seperate things...........avoiding the issue of his affair......................he is just punishing me for me wanting out relationship back.............I am the reason he can't be running thru the green pastures again kicking up his heals and havind his way with any filly he wants...........am I hurt and angry.....udamrite.

No, I haven't been in that situation. I was against divorce, but it takes two to keep it from happening. I wanted to keep things together for many reasons -- but the only real reason was for the kids. Didn't work out that way.

I am so sorry for your circumstances. I don't know you or your situation other than what you've posted.

I think you will find some very strong women here, who admit some weaknesses, but who will support you and offer whatever they have to offer.

I think it's a very positive sign that you recognize a big problem and have reached out. Keep trying.

Many here will hold your hand.

[Accountable for Me]

drowning in a bad relationship

I, too, think it is a positive sign that you recognize a big problem and have reached out. xoxoxo

Unfortunately, being in a marriage/partnership/relationship for the sake of the children and finances; most never work out.

If your husband is wanting out of this, that is a bad sign right there. It also does nothing for your self-esteem or sense of self worth. You know? Gosh, you must be feeling damn right confused, frustrated and hurt right now.

This is such a complicated situation. I wish I had something to say to make you feel better.

Keep coming back here for support. The first thing you may want to concentrate on is your issue with alcohol. Once you help yourself; you will be able to make some life changing decisions rationally. You will learn to love and respect yourself. You will gain strength, and may be able to see things for what they are along the way.

We are here for you. :l

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

drowning in a bad relationship

I haven't been where you are but I've been through a lot of crap. Therapy helps, I would highly recommend it. I hope things get better for you :l

[Tiresias]

drowning in a bad relationship

Maybe you can commit to posting here every day, or every few days, to vent and let us know how you are doing.

?

[Prest4time]

drowning in a bad relationship

Bottomsup,

Your situation sounds very sad. I am not sure what a "dismissal" is, but it sounds like you are settling for a situation that is destructive for the sake of finances and children. Although this may seem tempting in light of the unknown future, it will most certainly be destructive in the long run for your children if they are witnessing you being ecnored and not valued. Never fall for the lie that children are better off in a miserable marriage as long as you "stay together." By all means, do all you can. But if your husband is pining over greener pastures and sleeping in a separate room... I beg you to re-evaluate what message you are sending to not only your husband, but to your children.

Just remember they are learning everything about marriage and relationships by what they see in the home. What are you teaching them?

I know its tough... take care of yourself and those precious little ones no matter what.

[inhiding]

drowning in a bad relationship

thank you 4 your support............will be back soon. hopefully

[bestlifeldms]

drowning in a bad relationship

Bottomsup,

I hope you will come here often for support. I would suggest focussing on yourself, and controlling the effects of alcohol in your life, as a priority. You deserve it! Improving yourself, will improve many aspects of your life. Our children deserve for us to be the best that we were intended to be. When we balance our own lives, they grow up to be more balanced in return. Enjoy your Christmas with your family, and come back, alot! Hugs, Best

[dexterhead]

drowning in a bad relationship

Bottomsup: I've experienced the hell of living with a spouse who resented the hell out of me. Call it being "The Inconvenient Wife." It's toxic. I hope you can manage a way to figure out your situation and focus on yourself. :l:l

[inhiding]

drowning in a bad relationship

tell me

tell me your story please....it helps to know what other people have been able to live with and have succeeded at AL.

[kitkatsue]

drowning in a bad relationship

If the other person however wants to have a girlfriend on the side, well it just won't work and you have to get rid of them, like used toilet tissue Because you deserve better.

And you don't want your kids to think his behavior is acceptable.

My estranged husband can't understand why I won't stay married to him while he continues to have relationships with other women.

I gave him a long look and relised he was so not worth it. And I hope his porn star girlfriend gives him crotch rot !

Venting helps in so many ways. Please feel free to vent here frequently !

Anyway if I tried to live with him I would probably drink myself to death, I couldn't live with him sober.

Sorry for the rant. Take care of yourself!!

[kitkatsue]

drowning in a bad relationship

bottomsup,
I am sorry about what you are going through if you would like to chat sometime let me know.

[Accountable for Me]

drowning in a bad relationship

No one is worth going through that. No one.

Kitkat, I am so sorry to hear what you have gone through. I hope his porn star girlfriend does give him crotch rot. Funny thing is that when most men have affairs with these sleazy, gold digging, hotties; it is them that gets burned in the end. Keep that in mind.

Good for you for separating yourself.

Big hugs to you, too, bottom. You need to find it within yourself to get out of that horrid marriage and start loving yourself and live a happy life. xoxoxoxo

[IAD]

drowning in a bad relationship

Bottoms up....Like that, sure this is'nt what you had in mind. Ha! Listen I'm on my 2nd marriage......22 years married now. I was in a bad relationship.....She wanted me to stay just because it would be convinent, I told her that I was'nt going to live in a house with no love. It was tough, lost my house, money ( I was lucky, no kids) It's hard, but your personnel sanity comes first ! I have 3 lovey kids and a wife that I love......Life can be a lot better...even if you only come out with your sanity.. Take care, good luck IAD. ( By the way....sorry Andy Williams Ha! )

[irish eyes]

drowning in a bad relationship

Hi Bottomsup
Very scary leaving a bad marriage, I know because I tried so many times and each time I took him back we ended up in separate bedrooms again same sh...t went on. The longer u live in this situation your self esteem will disappear and it will be even more difficult when u try again. I eventually walked away 11 years ago and no regrets whatso ever now. The important thing for you to know at this moment is that you have choices you are not stuck! Go for therapy, look after yourself you deserve better than this rubbish. Talk soon