Learning the signs of people hiding a problem

[trixietrack]

hello all I haven't posted much here but I have been lurking a bit and enjoying seeing everyone working hard at becoming better human beings.

I am finally starting to understand a few things about getting involved with people who drink a lot or are alcoholics.
I had to recently let go of some one who claimed to be moderating but after 8 months of being around him I discovered that he was more than just the guy who drinks one or three. here and there.

I wanted to point out a few things that I noticed. I have had a long relationship with someone who was a binge drinker. and it was pretty obvious he had problems. not this last guy.

The guy I just broke it off with seemed pretty together but the more I listened and payed attention, the more I noticed that something was not right.

he went to work every day and seemed pretty normal. said he was tired, guess that meant hang over.
I only saw him seriously drunk maybe 5 times in 8 months.

he did unpredictable things like say he was coming over in an hour and then would show up late or not at all.

he was a bit neglectful with hygiene then got worse with time

when I started seeing him more often he always wanted something to drink

If i had no alcohol he'd got to the store and get some. ( I hate drinking alone so really don't have booze laying around )

funny thing is his personality other than being unreliable at times and bad with money was not a loud or angry drunk at least not in front of me.

I just learned after being with him and letting him go as he was making me want to go back to my old ways, how important it is to not meet people you want to be involved with where there is a lot of booze being consumed.

[Guitarista]

Learning the signs of people hiding a problem

Hiya Trixie. Sorry to hear you having to let go of someone, especially with al related issues. That can't have been easy. But, as you know, the less grog around us when we are trying to heal, the better, and we must look after ourselves first, in order to be any good to others. Booze is the great 'clouder' where things just don't change or improve, while under that life sucking cloud.
I hope your friend will sort himself out, and you stay strong, and forge ahead!
Yeah, it aint easy, but you're tough!
Hope you have a lovely Christmas, and a cracking 2009! G.

[kitkatsue]

Learning the signs of people hiding a problem

That would be tough! I know I couldn't be around someone who drinks right now.
One of many reasons I stay away from my astranged husband. He is going to AA but only because of a court order. And he has called me when he was drinking.

I so hope the New Year will bring good changes for us all !!

kitkat