Divorce thread

[gyco]

Divorce thread

ya no ive been married 32 years,mighty fine women,a lot of ups and downs,but you work it out the best way you can,i could be wrong but i do think women end up on the short end of the deal.as far as your husbands they deserve what they get,as you grow together in married life so do you grow as one,i said it to my sons girlfreind last night i cant amagine life with out her,but for you all i wish you all well and happiness in the future gyco

[veritas]

Divorce thread

I was married to a very wealthy man, but also a very mean, stingy and abusive man. He would rant and rave for hours about my waste of money (like putting mushrooms in the stew) and then go out and spend thousands on his own hobbies. I have some horrible, horrible memories.

The divorce was drawn out and vindictive and I ended up with less money than the lawyers.

I realised that I pretty much had to make it on my own. Although I ended up with very little maintenance for the children, he did agree to pay for their education. He would also apear at Christmas time, like father Christmas, having spent money on gifts for the children. Even though we were going without a lot of important things, I was happy that my children could have this one day of luxury.

My ex got remarried in September. Since then he has travelled on two overseas pleasure trips. I was not envious, I actually feel sorry for his new wife.

Then, he told my children that he could not afford to visit them over Christmas. He did say that he would deposit money into their bank accounts. My children were happy with that. They are desperate for clothes.

Come Christmas eve, my son, who is a student, went to check his bank account. I could see his disappointment when he arrived home. "It's enough for a tank of petrol and a date with my girlfriend", he said.

On Christmas day, when I saw my children with nothing to open from their father, I was filled with such sadness and anger. I realised then that the children are not a priority and now that he has a new marriage, he wants to impress. I'm afraid, I did the only thing I'm used to, and managed to find some drink.

This morning I decided that I can no longer allow him to have that power over me. The only way I can really be free, is to be sober, to find my own power and happiness.

[Ripple]

Divorce thread

without Booze the entire situation is less painful. its good to at least file .. let it be known you have had enough. mine forced me to withdraw and has been somewot different, although he has yet to mature into a man i can be happy with. :H

[rubywillow]

Divorce thread

Whether it's the man or the woman causing the problems, and I've seen both, someone, especially the children, gets hurt. It galls me the people who wait in hopes their ex will get the other person out of their system and come back to them. Used goods! They don't change their stripes! Sorry to use the catch phrases, but does 'eat his cake and have it too!' ring a bell! We are responsible for our own happiness. It's no one elses fault or responsibility, and only we can allow others to make us miserable.

[Princess Fiona]

Divorce thread

Hi all, hope yr having happy holidays,
As you know, I too am going thru a divorce, I had been sober 2 and a half months, totally AF and had started moderating,when he left me, so I fell off the wagon for a month and thought, screw you, you are not worth taking my sobriety away, for the 1st time in a long time, I took control of myself, this was for me, tomorrow I am 7 months AF, I signed my divorce agreement last week spent my 7th wedding anniversary alone, had my 1st single, sober Xmas and totally enjoyed myself....I gave him a scrapbook of his life with our 9 yrs together, he sobbed.... today he came round to swim, was a hot day in Jo'burg, then sends me a message telling me how hot I am looking and he finds me so attractive.... how confused is this man???? he can't get over my drinking days!!!
I have gone thru the worst 8 months of my life, but doing it sober, I think has made all the difference, going to AA, doing my steps, has made me a stronger person, I am so worth it, I deserve to love and be loved.... his loss.....
We are all worth it, we have every right to be happy!!
Take care
LOL

[Princess Fiona]

Divorce thread

Sorry forgot to say, I have been given all I asked for and more, so thankfully, I will be secure financially,
we owned 2 properties, so I get the proceeds of the house which will be transfered into our townhouse, so a small bond and repayments, so I will have a lovely roof over my head, and a secure place for my daughter and I to live.
LOL x x x

[kitkatsue]

Divorce thread

It sounds like there are alot of us in the same boat.

Thankfully in my situation, the ASAP ex, and I have no children. It's so sad when kids are in the middle. My mom had to deal with the mess that was my biological father. Constantly threatening to take me away from her, which looking back was funny because he was the one who abused alcohol and drugs, and my mom didn't.

Anyway the first couple of years of my seperation were scary, I was hoping we could seek counseling and work things out,but that was completely one sided. And when he lost his job messing with a 16 year old at work after hours I knew he was a complete loser.

Now I just want to get away from him but he won't go away. I had to go to the hospital recently, and because his sister has a friend who works there he found out. Calls me leaves a message that he was hurt that I didn't let him know. OH MY GOD, we've been seperated for over three years if I had the money I would be divorced ! I changed my number once so he couldn't call so he just started showing up more often, so stupidly I gave him the new number hoping he wouldn't come over. NOT


OK enough of my rant .

If they will leave you alone it can be for the best.

I feel for anyone going through a difficult time with seperation and divorce!

We will have to hang in there an stick together. There is strength in numbers.


kitkat

[Ripple]

Divorce thread

Its a lifelong sentence of HELL for a kid. I have a son who is suffering due to me and his father fighting all these years.. i can't stand seeing my (adult) child having emotions locked in, when his father is still acting like a selfish unreasonable adult who is only concerned about his own needs!!!!!! i should have strapped the bastard to the BANK years ago.. today i am sorry i waited so long for change ... that NEVER F*****G came.. GET OUT NOW unhappy women.. PLEASE GET OUT ... PLEASE.. get away .. RUN.. :l:l:l:l

[Evie.Lou]

Divorce thread

I am right with you.It was the hardest thing that I ever did!!!!!!!!
I asked for the divorce, after 27 years of marriage.The kids were grown and I wanted out.i become someone that i would never want to know.Things where done and said and suicide even happened because of it...It was almost worse than death, to me !!!!
I am very happily remarried but the whole thing was more painful than I could have ever believed.
I would much rather die than go thru that again..
I am NOT afraid of DEATH but I am afraid of anything to do with divorce.
I am reading this thread with much interest...THANK YOU !!!

[Ripple]

Divorce thread

PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN UNHAPPY PEOPLE and take the nearest EXIT ... take my advice.. get away from those who make your life difficult..



EXIT


Attached files [img]/converted_files/747145=4497-attachment.jpg[/img]

[Evie.Lou]

Divorce thread

Please ...LISTEN TO RIP !!!
Very good advise.I waited 26 years TOO long !!!

[Ripple]

Divorce thread

I waited too long as well.. NOW I HAVE TO WAIT LONGER ...
until death due us PART !!! :H

i get the BIGGER PIECE!!!

Now its a REAL game .. a serious one.

RIPP ... :H

winner is = RIPP .. :handbag::yougo: Attached files [img]/converted_files/747151=4499-attachment.jpg[/img]

[Evie.Lou]

Divorce thread

You truly are the winner in my eyes...Rippy :H:H:H

[cowgal]

Divorce thread

I wonder

Rip, why do you have to wait til death? I wonder if that is what I should wait for, as he is definitely a time bomb waiting to go off, that is what emotionally drains me, heart attack, not taking ANY steps to take care of himself, driving us further and further in debt rather than the opposite, I mean, maybe financially I will be better off without him taking me down to...............?? AAUURGH!!!?:upset::upset:

Off to Target shopping, am I crazy???

lots of love, hang in there guys! It is good to have time to check in and post again.

MA

[time2change]

Divorce thread

Financial problems can get you into alot of trouble MA.This is exactly what is happening to me. Since I have filed for divorce he is doing all he can to ruin my credit. He had agreed to everything and I had agreed to pay certain credit cards and he has decided to add to those. Also, he has slowly been ruining my credit since he knows that I need to get a mortgage in my own name in order to buy the house from him. He is stalling on signing the papers and in the meantime I am making myself sick with worry about how this will effect me and the kids. Not the best time of the year to be dealing with all of this especially since he is staying in the house until it is all final. He overdrew our joint account this week and then acts like he has no idea what happened. I hope this is all over soon because it is soooooo stressful!!!