Divorce thread

[time2change]

Divorce thread

Thank you all. I am going to start the paperwork again, get another money order for court fees(not sure if I can get the money form the other one back) and move forward. It is such an up and down feeling right now. I have needed to be out of this relationship for a very long time, but this morning it hit me that he gets exactly what he always wanted,,,,,NO responsibility. He no longer has a wife, kids living in his home, or a house to take care of. He can finally do what he wants, when he wants, without me to point out how irresponsible his decisions are.
He told me this morning he is already planning a few trips. I see how he will be buying my kids love while I will continue to be the one responsible for teaching the kids responsibility. It will be me handling discipline and the unpleasantries of parenting while he buys them dinner and takes them on trips. Of course, he will be living on credit and a wing and a prayer, but the kids will not care. And in reality I have been doing it all for our entire marriage. I need to learn how to be proud of me for doing it all instead of being jealous of him for not having any responsibility.
Rudemama- thank you for your PM. I'm glad you are hanging in there and the kids are coping realitively well. I have to believe it gets easier.
MA- I know how hard t is to live with the ups and downs, but you deserve happiness and I will be here to support you no matter what. You have always been here for me and I do appreciate it.
To all of you dealing with divorce now or moving past it , I am glad we have each other to lean one.

[dexterhead]

Divorce thread

Claudia: are you OK?

[time2change]

Divorce thread

Sorry I do feel self centered. I hope you can let us know how you are Claudia!!!

[dexterhead]

Divorce thread

I am sorry all of you are going through this hell. You WILL come out the other side.:l:l

[rudemama]

Divorce thread

time2 change that would be what is referred to as the disneyland dad yeah dd brokedown this morning heart wrenching i told her all she was great at and all she is capable of doing and being tonight she said we are not a family i said you still have a mom and dad who love you.....yeah mopping up on the homefront its rough but at least you know that you are doing all you can to help your kids through a difficult period perhaps the most difficult times of their life. thanks for everyones support dexter i love that freakin cat alway have always will
rudemama

[time2change]

Divorce thread

R-
From you posts and PM's I know that you doing the very best you can. Your kids are lucky to have you and you are dealing with this all so well. I appreciate all of you support and hope we both get through this and end up stronger!!!

[greeneyes]

Divorce thread

Well, estranged one says he consulted with a "pit bull" of an attorney and will do battle if necessary. Ended up with me shouting and in tears. I also found out I am not eligible for unemployment - whether he goes under or I am fired. I wish I had known that. I would have left here long ago. I sent my resume out today though. Time to put on a new pair of big girl pants. I had to go to a GF house tonight as I entertained thoughts of going to a bar and lit would not have beeen to socialize. I needed to go somewhere with understanding distraction and to keep me safe. What an icky day on to of the side oeffects from forgetting my antidepressant for a few days. I have got to get out of this toxic situation.

[time2change]

Divorce thread

Greenie
Hang in there. I know how you feel and yes you need to get out of the toxic situation. You have been so strong and those big girl pants look so good on you. We will all get through this together. Glad you took the high road and did not allow him to make you do something you know will not help.:l Remember one door closes another one opens!!

[keeta]

Divorce thread

Ladies.
I pray for each of you to finially have some peace and routine back in your lives.

[cowgal]

Divorce thread

WOW

Sorry to hear about the unemployment/ex husband a**holishness.............etc. I will pray that you find a job, it is tough right now, do you know any people who can help you? That is a big plus (not that it helped me any when I was unemployed!?)

All, hang in there, I like to keep posted on your successes and hardships, as they will help me in my time.

off to work, have a good day and just hang in there,

XOXOXO:h:l:h

MA

[Lila]

Divorce thread

Greeneyes - can you get alimony?
The best thing my ex ever did was get all hardball on me and get an attorney who was nasty. Because I was forced to get one and in the end, I was much better off that way.

[Lila]

Divorce thread

Keeta - peace and routine - now that is so important! These people with their easy, amicable divorces just astonish me!

[Beer Goggles]

Divorce thread

sunshine_gg;503884 wrote: Best and only advice I can give... let it go!

I was married to a con artist, liar, cheater, abusive man, picture perfect dead beat dad, etc... after (admittedly) months, I came to the conclusion that I would NEVER get the answers I desired, and my kids would NEVER get the dad they deserved and in the meantime, I was turning into a bitter bitch. That's when I let it go and put it in the past.

It's been 10 years now, and yes, there still is a twinge IF I hear something about him but he has no relevance in my life anymore. I let it go.

Please - all you that are going through this right now - go (and I think you HAVE to) through all of the emotions: anger, hurt, devastation, fury, regret, etc... it's part of getting OVER it. And then.... let it go. It's a part of your past. Not really anything to be remorseful about - it brought you to here and now. It's ok. And it will get much better.
Sunshine What you said reminded me of something I try to read from time to time, Im struggling now with a loss of a girl friend whom I love very much.I hope you all will read this because it applies to a lot in life. It is call " LET IT GO"


There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains............

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and
see your worth.....

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you.

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.....

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed..................

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to.....

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2009!!


LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left ... think about it, and then.

LET IT G O!!!

Im so sad:upset:

[time2change]

Divorce thread

Original papers were found and my divorce will be final within 30 days unless there is another disaster. I know I should feel relieved, but I feel so sad. I told a co-worker who has been through the same thing today and she cried. Said she never wanted anyone she knew to have to go through the same thing. Told me she knew that even after the papers were signed my life would be a mess. Not sure I feel so good tonite, but glad I don't have to start over.
Thanks Beer Googles....alot to think about!!!

[Beer Goggles]

Divorce thread

time2change;530820 wrote: Original papers were found and my divorce will be final within 30 days unless there is another disaster. I know I should feel relieved, but I feel so sad. I told a co-worker who has been through the same thing today and she cried. Said she never wanted anyone she knew to have to go through the same thing. Told me she knew that even after the papers were signed my life would be a mess. Not sure I feel so good tonite, but glad I don't have to start over.
Thanks Beer Googles....alot to think about!!!

It doesn't have to be a mess unless you allow it too. Here is you a hung:l As my momma always says " This too shall pass"