Divorce thread

[Ripple]

Divorce thread

cowgal;503437 wrote: Rip, why do you have to wait til death? I wonder if that is what I should wait for, as he is definitely a time bomb waiting to go off, that is what emotionally drains me, heart attack, not taking ANY steps to take care of himself, driving us further and further in debt rather than the opposite, I mean, maybe financially I will be better off without him taking me down to...............?? AAUURGH!!!?:upset::upset:

Off to Target shopping, am I crazy???

lots of love, hang in there guys! It is good to have time to check in and post again.

MA

Yes.. they drain all our energy ,,, not drinking makes a big difference.. i am waiting until there is enough money, right now things are too shaky.. i will know when the time is right.. then BAM.. thank you MAN.. :H

[Lila]

Divorce thread

Ripple
Do you have any kids? I really wish you well. I used to have dreams that I was back in my marriage, and I would wake up kinda bummed out, then get happy when I realized it was just a dream - what I mean is, don't stay too long!!
Lila

[Princess Fiona]

Divorce thread

Hi all,
I am so peed off with my soon to be ex!!!! Evil m-i-l left last night to go back to the UK, hopefully for good, as she is the one who played a huge part in our impending divorce.... anyway, Tim comes here this morning asks me what furniture etc I am taking when I move and what I am leaving, so after discussing all this, I say, well I also have to leave the dogs, I can only take my spaniel to the townhouse and I felt, if he is living here at the house, why seperate the dogs just yet, he says to me, "they are not my f@#king dogs, why should I look after them???? Bastard!!!! out of all the shitty things he has said or done in these last 9 months, this was so hurtful,I have looked after this f@#king house for 9 months, while he has had mommy running around after him..... I am so angry....
Have a great day, sorry I had to vent
LOL

[Ripple]

Divorce thread

Already he is stressing me out and its morning.. OMG he has to go TODAY ... out. I need a break from husband .. my heart is pounding away. no way to live!!!! too much work.

[inhiding]

Divorce thread

Wow,
Your post hit a nerve..........I call it walking on egg shells. No matter what you do or how quiet you get the kids or how clean you get the house or how damn good you are at what you do.....you get treated like a piece of shit.............wow...i guess alot of people are in the same boat and it helps to hear that we are not alone.

[Lila]

Divorce thread

How are you doing, there, BU? Have you filed, are you living separately...? How are your stress levels? I know they can't be good, I know.
Lila

[inhiding]

Divorce thread

Lila,
I have filed, got the judge to make him move out, worked a 50 hr week job, took care of a heard of cattle for 9 months including calving season with my 14 yr old son and really tried to get things moving forward but lost my nerve and started to really think about the finances....could I make in on my own and support 2 teens? We signed a joint dismissal on the 17th of Dec. and he has treated me like a non person ever since. I figure I have 5 more years of this. Have been married for 21 so what is 5 more............then I am the hell out of here.....he is a great dad....just a rotten husband....long story.:thanks::

[time2change]

Divorce thread

Sorry but I can totally relate. I feel for you and hate that finances make us stay. I have done the same for 21 years.

[Lila]

Divorce thread

So sorry to hear that, BU! What about child support?? And you, too T2c, that is too bad. I guess I understand.
Lila

[inhiding]

Divorce thread

I just spent about 1/2 hour telling my life story to you but timed out ................message.....your life story is not as interesting as you think .... Really, I will be ok for another 5 years...been there for many, now 1-1-09 will be AF (that can't hurt) Sometimes (when the dad is a good dad but a not so good husband) the kids will be better when he stays ( for awhile) I think! How does anyone know / every situation is different!:nutso:

[Lila]

Divorce thread

It is your decision, BU, however, my son, my BABY was disrespectful and cold to me when I was married to his father. Now that I have left, all that is a distant memory. He was just imitating his father. Well, who is sorry now? Not me!!!

[inhiding]

Divorce thread

Lila,
I understand what you are saying but my 14 yr old son is the one who has helped me with the calving season and been very angry with his dad throughout all of this ( and I don't want his to be angry with anyone) but he has stuck with me thru all this .He is ok with dad being here now. Like I said before, 16 yr old daughter is for who ever will be on her side (so for we are both on the same side - husb and me) so she is ok too.

[Lila]

Divorce thread

That is good to hear. He sounds like a good kid. Maybe things will even work out in your marriage? It is possible...anyways, I wish you well.
ps. Calving season??? I am a city girl! I can't even imagine.

[inhiding]

Divorce thread

Lila,
There is nothing more satisfying than helping a new mama heiffer (new moma cow) deliver her first calf. The problem is that we calf in February when the bizzards usually cause the mamas to have their babes in the worst weather. We have saddled the horse and started the tractor to pull calves from new mamas. The sad part is when the weather is just so bad that we can't save the babe. The reward is when we can take the calf into the shed overnight and dry him/her off and save their life and reuniting them with mom the next day and run like hell when your drop them off because there is nothing like a moma cow/calf bond. I've been chased up a few fences and gates but happy to do so if it means moma will take her babe.

[gettingthere]

Divorce thread

So those of you who are parents with kids still living at home--did you all get custody of your kids despite the drinking problem? I know a divorce is in my near future and I am scared to death that I won't get custody because he will be nasty and do everything in his power to hurt me emotionally and financially. I know for a fact that he will try to get our kids because I asked for a divorce a few years back and in his rage he threatened to get full custody because I was a 'drunk'. We ended up going to counseling, but I have only stayed for the sake of the kids. I can't do it much longer. And I can't afford out-patient rehab because our sucky insurance won't cover it. Next summer, I will be getting better insurance, so I plan on doing it then. In the meantime, I am on Antabuse so I can hopefully quit making an ass of myself.
It seems that there is such a stigma about moms when they don't get custody. Its like everyone will whisper "what's wrong with her, they always give moms custody unless they are really bad moms!" I don't think I could handle that. But I also must note that I truly do want my kids with me. I know everything about them, he doesn't. He works more and has odd hours, I have a regular 8-5 M-F job that is very predictable. Plus, we have daughters and I am very close to them as they are to me. It makes sense to me, but to a judge? Well, I don't know. I have already talked to a lawyer and she says to save money and get to an out patient program. I only hope I can get to it next summer before shit hits the fan!

Thanks for listening and any input is GREATLY appreciated. I love you guys!:h