Divorce thread

[Rags2riches]

Divorce thread

gettingthere - my ex husband threatened as well and, guess what, they were just threats that he never acted on. We have been divorced for 2 years now and, while not easy, I have full custody of both of my daughters. I would love to share my experience and thoughts with you so send me a PM if you would like to talk about the details! Keep your head up and hang in there!

[dexterhead]

Divorce thread

All who are currently going through this hell, be strong ... I feel for you.:h:l

We did not have kids, so I can't offer any insight on that.

My situation seems a little different in that we were happy, kind to one another, took solace in one another until the end, when he went through a breakdown and turned against me. In hindsight, the reasons we were together were not so healthy. But I almost wish it had been a really rotten marriage so I would feel better about being alone.

The finances thing is the killer. He now makes six figures and is living in the house I so loved with his new wife. I'm living in an apartment and struggling to get by. I resent this, even though I feel petty about it.

[inhiding]

Divorce thread

Hey gettingthere,
I got full temp custody from the judge. Hubby is a state police officer and has worked with the judge and had good working relationship.....talk about being scared to death that I would loose them BUT....I told him that if he used my drinking I would use his affair. I'm not a bad mom and he is not a bad dad but when it comes down to it...who does all the stuff that needs to be done with the kids. Sure, he does the fun stuff but who does the religious ed, the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, the school activities, who, after all bore them. Unless you are totally unfit, ie: driving them around while drunk and passing out etc. I think you have a good chance but clean up now. Your kids are too important to take the chance to loose them.....who cares what other people think if you loose them...how will they feel? I wish you much luck and hope for the best. This is an unbelievably scarry time ....I should know, I chickened out and choose to stay.

[Lila]

Divorce thread

Dexter
Were you legally married? What kind of settlement did you get? What about alimony?
Lila

[dexterhead]

Divorce thread

Lila, yes, for 10 years. I did get a settlement of about $20K and alimony for 2 years, but now I'm back to trying to live on my own income. At the time of the divorce, there was little in the way of assets. He had lost our savings in the stock market (another story - eegads ) and there was little equity in the house, and his income was far smaller than it is now. I also probably had a shitty attorney.

[Lila]

Divorce thread

Dexter
*&^%$#@
I am so sorry about that!!
Let's all just have a better time this new year. New beginnings?
Lila

[gabby]

Divorce thread

sorry for everyones pain.....but I for one am so glad to be divorced!!!!!!!


Happy 2009!!!!!!!

[Lila]

Divorce thread

Me too, Gabby!!! It is a gift from the Lord!!!!

[time2change]

Divorce thread

I sure hope that sometime I can agree with both of you Gabby & Lila, but when you are going through it it seems like a gift from HELL!!! I know in my heart I will be so much happier when it is over. My feelings for him have been gone for a long time which makes it easier. For those whose heart is breaking while going through this I can only imagine how diffficult that must be. I know many of people who have gone through it and can finally look back and say they are so much better off. Good Luck to all.

[mickeylondon]

Divorce thread

been there about 10 years ago, hurt like nothing else i have known in fact i guess i am only starting to get back up again and although i thought drink was helping me it has just been a curse, anyway if all goes well will be moving from a 1 bed flat in south london to a 3 bed house in northampton (all by myself lol) god i hope it all works out so i can change this stupid life ive been living going to pubs getting pissed, going for one night stands, well i guess time will tell.

[keeta]

Divorce thread

Is anyone dealing with step families in the mix as well, at all?
I need help, a friend, support, advice, a moving truck....arrrgh....no...I just need a break.:upset: I just don't know how or when that break will come.
Blah.
There has to be something better than this. My fear of hurting my kids by pulling out...is it worth it...I don't know...

[inhiding]

Divorce thread

can't imagine steps in the equation....this is just such a painful situation. much luck though and hope someone else has some good advise. Hang in.

[Chacha]

Divorce thread

I went through a divorce 4 years ago. Although it is over, I must relive it every single day because of my 8 year old daughter. In my experience, it was the most liberating thing that I've ever done, but yet the most painful. I think it's like the most public display of failure for me...choosing the wrong one, not making it work, and ending it to move on. I have no regrets, but struggle with how to find peace from the whole situation and with dealing with the ex and his idiot ways. I struggle with how much of him to hide my daughter from vs. let her see it and realize it and not be crushed one day when she wakes up and realizes what kind of man he really is. In the mean time, I raise her 100% solo and he comes to get a love fix for a quick visit, lunch, or dinner on occation. How does someone walk away from that type of responsibility like that? (sorry...guess this thread hit a bit of a sensitive spot)

[Guest]

Divorce thread

Hello, yes I too have been now filed with divorce papers and it is because of "my drinking",no mention of how my husbands prior affairs have affected me. We still live together, as we have for 32 years now and have been married for 20, New Years was our 20th. We start mediation on next Monday. He says he loves me but has to get the alcohol out o his life. I am working on that but he does not trust me. I feel better though as i have started naltrexone with baclofen, and I am having good luck. I am so afraid of the future. I will have to be the one that leaves the home, all these unknowns. Thanks for the listening.

[Guest]

Divorce thread

Yes Just found this thread, I too have been served papers and I am really sad. My entire life is going to change after 34 years. My husband is unable to trust that I am trying to stop drinking. I have done so many things, and I am a good person, but I am getting worn down. More later, thanks for being here.