Divorce thread

[Princess Fiona]

Divorce thread

I too am going through a divorce, I stopped drinking over 7 and a half months ago, totally 100% AF, since then my life has been one curve ball after another.... when does it stop? My husband cannot give me a clear cut answer to why he is doing this, he loves me , is still attracted to me, but he has to do this... yesterday he moved to a city nearly 1500km away, our house is empty, he has left his kids, from his 1st marriage, I am left with all the responsibilities of selling the house, the dogs are still here as I cannot take my lab, and am waiting to see if my spaniel will be allowed to come to the complex I now live in. Tim has blamed me for everything, for months he has told me he loves me, dangled an emotional carrot in front of me and has walked away, I am destroyed.... why when you stop drinking, and you think that you are on the right track, going to meetings, working yr program, being a better person, the rest of yr life is a total mess? Is this my rock bottom? I have lost everything... my husband, my lover, my best friend, my home, my dreams, my future, my security .... at 46 I have to start over.....

[greeneyes]

Divorce thread

Time, MA, Fiona, and everyone else who is scared and/or suffering.... I wish I could lift all that from you. At the risk of sounding trite, remember that when one door closes, another one opens. When it's time for someone to leave your life, then it is time. You may not see it now, but it is best for all. How many times did you have boyfirends and you cried and thought "I'll never feel like that about anyone else ever again."? Look at how strong you are and know that you will not only be fine, but better. Allow it to happen. I'm not saying don't grieve or that it is easy, but it won't last forever and you WILL be better. Remember the sweats, shakes, anxiety, etc. when you quit drinking? Well, it got better didn't it? Once again, do good things for yourself and your self will thrive. :l :h

And fiona, I'm 10 years older than you and about to be unemployed. But not for long. My new better job is waiting for me to shut the door on this one.

[Princess Fiona]

Divorce thread

Thank you so much for that, he left me 9 months ago, I think it is all the finality of it all, today has not been a good day... I am glad he has gone, this way he is not living 700m away and pop in like he did and have sex, yes still doing that and not good for me, so the distance will be beneficial. I do have amazing support here, I just think its because its all so confusing, not a cut and dry situation. Time will heal, its just getting there.....:thanks::h

[Princess Fiona]

Divorce thread

Thank you so much for that, he left me 9 months ago, I think it is all the finality of it all, today has not been a good day... I am glad he has gone, this way he is not living 700m away and pop in like he did and have sex, yes still doing that and not good for me, so the distance will be beneficial. I do have amazing support here, I just think its because its all so confusing, not a cut and dry situation. Time will heal, its just getting there.....:thanks::h

[Lila]

Divorce thread

Fiona
I thought you were getting a good deal in your divorce. What happened?
And, Greeneyes, thanks for the encouraging words - it is always scary to leave what is known behind, even if it is very much for the best.
Lila

[time2change]

Divorce thread

I guess that I can share my disaster story so we all know how hard this can be. I purposely came up with extremely reasonable terms, so I would just have to hire a lawyer to write the papers and it could all end quickly. I thought no fighting and he could have all he wanted. I waited on him for weeks and weeks to complete the few papers he had to fill out. I got them on the first day of 2009. Happy New Year. I sent all the papers to the lawyer who only had to forward them to a judge who would sign them and I would finally be divorced. Well, with my good luck the papers have been lost at the Clerk of the Courts Office and I start all over again. Nothing is ever easy!!!

[Ripple]

Divorce thread

T2C .. always make copies of hard work. sorry this happened to you. :l

[time2change]

Divorce thread

Ripple
I keep copies of everyhing, but Courts need originally notarized documents. So I start over.

[last call]

Divorce thread

Greeneyes

What a piece of ----! Be glad to get rid of him.:elk:

[rudemama]

Divorce thread

what a drag T2C, you just want to move on. hang in there breathe....fiona i am 46 too and looking at that open door sometimes that knots in my stomache bind my feet and keep me planted in misery...tiny tiny steps forward
greeneyes you rock
change is hard but i have the courage to make this change and the faith that it will be better
love you all rudemama

[greeneyes]

Divorce thread

Bingo, rudemama! Courage & faith. Say to yourself "It will!" instead of "What if". Realize that it doesn't make sense to tell yourself "I'll just stay here and be miserable rather than take a chance".

Gee, time. That just plain sucks. Out loud. Maybe this go will happen faster since he's done it once already. Get a fresh bandaid on that wound and keep going.

[Ripple]

Divorce thread

time2change;527927 wrote: Ripple
I keep copies of everyhing, but Courts need originally notarized documents. So I start over.

That is GOOD, word for word all will be the same.. Makes you wonder when these docs get lost? Does HE have a friend at the court house? lets hope not. Start over. :upset:

[time2change]

Divorce thread

Thanks all. I am starting over and hope it will all be done quickly. Very fustrating.

[claudia3]

Divorce thread

I have left the perfect huband and father and now am sad, alone and drinking!!!
I hate myself!!!

[cowgal]

Divorce thread

love ya!

Time2, I have you in my thoughts and prayers for what it is worth, I love you girl, I am watching your progress.....................:goodjob:

Mike is so "ying/yang"?? A flip/flopper? I guess, he was so nice today, insisted on bringing the horses back here, so of course I am sooooooo happy, I have my 2 2,000 lb. "babies" back here at the house, just wondering what to give in exchange, or what he expects....going to a greek dinner at my Taioist Assn. Tai Chi group tonight, that ought to be fun.

love you guys.............:h:h

Confused, MA