Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

[startingover]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

I have read the feeling good handbook, its good and has lots of exercises to do...but being lazy, I didnt do them....yep, gotta change my attitude in 2009!

No worries about the avatar wippy, it was disturbing me too! How could i offer serious words of wisdom - lol - with an avatar like that??

Oney, I just keep adding books to my wish list on amazon then when I have a few I order

[Seacailin]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

I am very interested WIP. I will definitely get the book that you recommended.

[Seacailin]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

I didn't mean Christopher Oney. LOL. OMG he is so shy I could just picture his face if he knew about this conversation.lol. I meant Jonathan Papelbon. Closing pitcher for the Boston Red Sox. Look him up Oney. He's got a nice butt.lol. Sorry, superficial moment.

[LookingToGrow]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

Nice butts are important...LOL!!

[A Work in Progress]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

startingover;504441 wrote: I have read the feeling good handbook, its good and has lots of exercises to do...but being lazy, I didnt do them....yep, gotta change my attitude in 2009!

Starts, I will try not to be preachy here, but here's an example: calling yourself "lazy" because you didn't do the exercises in the book is an example of the kind of negative self-talk that will contribute to "depression," or just plain feeling rotten, and not getting where you want to go. Mindfulness-based methods help us to notice when we are doing that, and gently detaching from the content of the talk.

The other big part of the work that I do is complementary to the "noticing and detaching" part: it involves learning self-compassion. That's not the same, by the way, as "building self-esteem," which is now recognized as misguided and ineffective... for reasons I won't go into here, it would require a long lecture... But: self-compassion work has been shown in early studies to actually improve immune function and reduce inflammatory responses in our bodies... Amazing stuff....

[A Work in Progress]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

p.s., here's Dr. Kristin Neff's Self-Compassion website. She's a serious researcher, well-respected, and also practices mindfulness meditation (which is what I teach and practice... ).

[startingover]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

Not preachy at all wip, that is EXACTLY the talk I need to hear. Even just reading that I felt better about me.
I have never heard of "self-compassion" I had always thought I just needed to raise my self esteem somehow...looks like a whole new approach.
Thank you wippy, I am so glad you are here.

[startingover]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

I have just read the first page and it makes perfect sense....

[Seacailin]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

Wow Wipster
I am very grateful to have you in the Army.

[Seacailin]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

HHeres a nice butt shot for you Oney and LTG

[A Work in Progress]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

A Work in Progress;504454 wrote:
The other big part of the work that I do is complementary to the "noticing and detaching" part: it involves learning self-compassion. That's not the same, by the way, as "building self-esteem," which is now recognized as misguided and ineffective... for reasons I won't go into here, it would require a long lecture... But: self-compassion work has been shown in early studies to actually improve immune function and reduce inflammatory responses in our bodies... Amazing stuff....Well, it really doesn't require all that long a lecture, here is what Dr. Neff said about the whole self-esteem vs. self-compassion question on her website: Although self-compassion may seem similar to self-esteem, they are different in many ways. Self-esteem refers to our sense of self-worth, perceived value, or how much we like ourselves. While there is little doubt that low self-esteem is problematic and often leads to depression and lack of motivation, trying to have higher self-esteem can also be problematic. In modern Western culture, self-esteem is often based on how much we are different from others, how much we stand out or are special. It is not okay to be average, we have to feel above average to feel good about ourselves. This means that attempts to raise self-esteem may result in narcissistic, self-absorbed behavior, or lead us to put others down in order to feel better about ourselves. We also tend to get angry and aggressive towards those who have said or done anything that potentially makes us feel bad about ourselves. The need for high self-esteem may encourage us to ignore, distort or hide personal shortcomings so that we can?t see ourselves clearly and accurately. Finally, our self-esteem is often contingent on our latest success or failure, meaning that our self-esteem fluctuates depending on ever-changing circumstances.

In contrast to self-esteem, self-compassion is not based on self-evaluations. People feel compassion for themselves because all human beings deserve compassion and understanding, not because they possess some particular set of traits (pretty, smart, talented, and so on). This means that with self-compassion, you don?t have to feel better than others to feel good about yourself. Self-compassion also allows for greater self-clarity, because personal failings can be acknowledged with kindness and do not need to be hidden. Moreover, self-compassion isn?t dependent on external circumstances, it?s always available ? especially when you fall flat on your face! Research indicates that in comparison to self-esteem, self-compassion is associated with greater emotional resilience, more accurate self-concepts, more caring relationship behavior, as well as less narcissism and reactive anger.

[A Work in Progress]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

Wonderful picture, Sea!

[startingover]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

Thanks again wippy, that explains it..

He has VPL...

[LookingToGrow]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

Sometimes VPL is sexy :H

[Seacailin]

Army Thread Sunday 28 Dec

What is VPL?