New Year... New Life

[fickle]

This is a tough time of year and many are feeling it. Christmas has passed and for me this is a new start at going AF. Found a few friends in chat tonight feeling the same way and hope you will all join in for a great new year. I will probably be fairly MWO dependant for the next few days at least so looking forward to catching up with old friends and new.
Happy New Year!!
Fickle

[brittzak]

New Year... New Life

Lean on in Fickle......we are here!!!! I do think we are putting entirely to much pressure on ourselves over dates though...come on guys...treat these days like any other days in your life...it is just a day...keep telling yourself thta...just a day...nothing more, nothing less. Don't let the beast make it more than it is.

[fickle]

New Year... New Life

Ahhh Britt I wish!

Having kids & relatives means everyone expects you to pull a rabbit out of a hat! Money or no money!! Other people's expectations are hell.

On a brighter note, I came home to a very cheerful present from my neighbour.. a box of eggs! Label reads:
"The Gallaway Girls of Binburra - 12 Genuine Free Range Eggs - Eggs supplied by Plymouth Rock, Brown Lohman, Leghorn, Highline, Australorp, Sussex and a Partridge in a Pear tree."

LMAO
Fick

[ezzmae]

New Year... New Life

I agree fickle New Year, New Life. Christmas is over and all that wonderful optimism of the New Year is here. I messed up with AL twice over the christmas holidays, yesterday was so hard to resist and I gave in. It was a lesson for me because it was the first really hot day here and I was so sick of drinking water and that cold beer looked so wonderful. It is going to be hot for the next few days so I am going to stick to my routine of hitting the gym in the mornings and trying to stay in the air conditioning for the afternoons. I plan and hope to stay AF for the new year, and for ever after that. I have gone AF in the heat of summer before so I know I can do it.

[Ripple]

New Year... New Life

I am ready for something better than wot i am living now. Certainly i do not need booze to make it better!!! Actually 'remove' booze and i am good.. it is getting passed the idea when you think there is nothing else to doo, then you feel like shit after you had your own show and its over. Life changes only if I doo it.. i have a lot of work ahead of me and plenty of time.. :l

[fickle]

New Year... New Life

Day one AF

Welcome Britz & Ripps,

Today is day one for me so I expect it to be slow.

Now I've been thinking and I've realised after chatting with some friends yesterday that I still resist the idea that I am a 'bad' drunk. After some consideration I guess in my mind there are good drinkers and bad drinkers. I had to ask myself what on earth is a 'good' drinker? :H

I guess my parents were opposites, mother tetotaller, religious & bitter, whereas father was a drinker and had a sense of humour. As a child it's easy to see who I might admire & wish to be like more.

Now that insight opened a door for me. Every time I give up I manage quite well for a while until something upsets me and I feel angry or distressed. This happens often being a single parent with normal argumentative children and living in a world where things are often just 'not fair'.

So that is me trying to plaster a sense of humour over what I perceive as my nasty side. There are times I am angry and bitter and frustrated and I just can't tolerate that! Something someone said in another post earlier about drugs helping or giving hope during difficult times.. also got me thinking. I have relied on drinking as a kind of bridge over troubled water.

So here is to some mindfulness on my part this time and staying on these boards each day and noticing what is going on. It is too easy for me to gloss over things.

I look forward to anyone joining in this journey and posting their own insights as we travel along even if the path is awkward! Many thanks for the support from everyone yesterday in chat!
:l
Hugs
Fickle

[fickle]

New Year... New Life

Well I'm still going.. made it through and feeling optimistic!

Reading lots of other posts here I find there are plenty of us starting threads about getting into the new year cleaner & healther... So many celebrating NOT waking up with a hangover new years day! What a great vibe.

Life is so complicated sometimes I feel like one of those little motes of dust floating in a shaft of light with no control over the direction my life takes.. and here I am caught in a blessed updraft!

I too am taking charge, sorting & celebrating :yougo:

:thanks:

[SKendall]

New Year... New Life

Hi Fickle, I know you've had a hard time in the past few months, so I am thrilled to see you setting new sights. MWO is still the best with your old friends here, but it has grown and now we have lots of new friends.

I wish you the best.

xoxo

[IAD]

New Year... New Life

Their is a lady that I have come to admire ! She is a friend......and knew what kind of problems we go through ! ( I am Not worthy ! Ha! ) Though she is a regular gal ! ( 34 Years Sober ! WOW ! I would aspire to do that ! IAD.)

[fickle]

New Year... New Life

Made it through to another day!

Thanks SK! Yes I hope things will stay simple for 2009. And I'm checking out the toolbox thread early for ways to deal when things get difficult again.

IAD that does sound like something to aspire to.. my aim is to accept myself as I am, Naivet? and all. I guess I want to stay 14 forever. What that means exactly is hard to explain but staying clean & sober is definitely part of it.. and allowing my mind to return to that state of constant enquiry & intense presentness. (i know that's not a word).

I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, mostly because I trusted all the wrong people. I then beat myself up for being so foolish & gullible. Well no more beating. I am still innocent and I can still love, which is more than I can say for those who betray trust for fun.

Love & Happiness my fellow travellers!

[IAD]

New Year... New Life

LOving and trust are'nt bad traits......it's what keeps us human ! Just put thoese feelings in the right place ......LOL IAD.

[startingover]

New Year... New Life

Yay Fickle! You have a great attitude girl!
I am with you on the no more beating...going to give it a try!
Love and happiness to you too x

[fickle]

New Year... New Life

Trouble with me is i never did put it in the right place IAD! That's me! :H

14 is pre-romance & pre-drinking - the last time I honestly had any self-respect. I've come full circle and am back at last. My life & my thoughts are my own again. :wd:

Welcome Starting.. :l

[IAD]

New Year... New Life

Fickle.....let's learn to stay out of the Briar Patch, Hon ! Ha! LOL IAD