I came to live in this Spanish Costa Brava resort town when i was 16- drawn by the booze, sunshine, and sense of freedom from a not too happy childhood- over the years I have seen there are 3 types of expats drawn to live here.
Type A- the young ones like myself, who come in search of fun and adventure and end up staying. Many of us are alcoholic or become alcoholic simply due to the working in bars 9 hrs a day, 7 days a week. It starts of as great fun and before you know it you are hooked.
Type B- the elder person who has maybe bought a holiday home here, and finds themselves in a position to retire- or reaches retirement age- many people live out a happy retirement here, but many others also succumb to AL- too much time on their hands and socialising is always done in bars, so it is very easy for a 'normal drinker' to become an abnormal drinker in a very short time.
I have spent more than a quarter of a century working in bars here and observing the people who come and go, and pretty very well predict after their arrival where they will be in a year's time.
Then we have Type C- these are the shady ones. They are people who turn up alone in their 30s and 40s- not an age to retire, and not an age where you are looking for teenage kicks. types Cs are fortunately quite rare- but if a type C turns up, you can be sure they have baggage and are basically running away from something- the most common something being a failed marriage, nasty divorce, and all sorts of stuff coming out of the woodwork. Type Cs tend to be heavy drinkers when they arrive and become even heavier in a very short time.
Type Cs I have know have included a German who had hacked his mother to bits and put her pieces in a binbag in the cellar- Interpol picked him up one day while we were working behind a bar together, and somebody who was part of our social group (I am proud to say I never liked him, but others in our group did) who was stopped one night for drinking and driving and when the police put him through the computer it turned out he was wanted for assaulting young boys in the Manchester area. Enough said.
Anyway, about 10 years ago, a type C suddenly turned up in the middle of winter- not a time to come to the Costa Brava to look for work. I was working in one of the only expat bars open at that time of year, and he was an everyday customer- and a huge drinker. He would get so blotto he could not find his way out of the door at the end of the night. He was a very good looking guy- around 35 then I guess. It did not take long to learn his story, he was from a small villiage in Yorkshire, had married young, and had a son. He worked as a builder and had a profitable company and a confortable life. However when his son was nine, he was struck down with meningitis and subsequently died.
Although he and his wife tried to rebuild their lives the tragedy was too much for them, and they split up- hence his arrival here, and his obvious drowning his feelings into oblivion.
Happily about a year after his arrival he met a Spanish girl- as I said he was/is a VERY attractive man but I guess most girls would not have been too interested because of his obvious drink problem. Within a year they were still together, and he seemed much happier- he was still occasionally out and about getting extremely drunk, but months would go by when I did not see him in town- whereas before he was a nightly player. They then announced that his girlfriend was expecting a baby. She had a lovely boy, I was thrilled for him- you could see the change in him. he had in the meantime managed to buy a plot of land when the prices were still reasonable and was building a family home on it.
So that seems to be a happy ending- someone who had been through hell and back was finally getting his life together.
I believe in God, or a higher power, but sometimes one wonders.
Around the time I opened the shop I began to see him regularly again, he lives nearby and his wife was about to drop twins any moment. He was thrilled. I scrutinised him with my drinker's eye, but his eyes were bright, his complexion was clear, and i could see from his disposition he was no longer drinking like before- if at all.
They had 2 twin boys around the end of October- one of them was born with a heart murmer.
On Saturday they became worried about the boys as they both had colds and snuffles, and took them to a hospital half an hour from where we are. There are nearer hospitals but this one is renowned for it's excellent pediatric facilities.
The twins were examined and the parents were told baby N could go home, but baby E would stay in overnight to be monitored. My friend was quite upset as this as baby N was the one with the heart murmer and requested both babies should stay. The doctor refused and was quite adament that baby N should go home.
Well. mum stayed with baby E, and dad took baby N home. he fed baby N at 4am, and went back to sleep at 5am. Mum phoned dad at 8am as she knew he may not wake up, and dad went to baby N for the next feed. Baby N was dead. He has been cremated today without a service as baby E is also worsening, and has been transferred by helicopter to a more high tech hospital.
I am sorry for this long post, but I am absolutely gutted that a man who had done so well in turning his life around has had this thrust upon him.
Please say prayers- I must admit it is at times like this my faith wavers.
Type A- the young ones like myself, who come in search of fun and adventure and end up staying. Many of us are alcoholic or become alcoholic simply due to the working in bars 9 hrs a day, 7 days a week. It starts of as great fun and before you know it you are hooked.
Type B- the elder person who has maybe bought a holiday home here, and finds themselves in a position to retire- or reaches retirement age- many people live out a happy retirement here, but many others also succumb to AL- too much time on their hands and socialising is always done in bars, so it is very easy for a 'normal drinker' to become an abnormal drinker in a very short time.
I have spent more than a quarter of a century working in bars here and observing the people who come and go, and pretty very well predict after their arrival where they will be in a year's time.
Then we have Type C- these are the shady ones. They are people who turn up alone in their 30s and 40s- not an age to retire, and not an age where you are looking for teenage kicks. types Cs are fortunately quite rare- but if a type C turns up, you can be sure they have baggage and are basically running away from something- the most common something being a failed marriage, nasty divorce, and all sorts of stuff coming out of the woodwork. Type Cs tend to be heavy drinkers when they arrive and become even heavier in a very short time.
Type Cs I have know have included a German who had hacked his mother to bits and put her pieces in a binbag in the cellar- Interpol picked him up one day while we were working behind a bar together, and somebody who was part of our social group (I am proud to say I never liked him, but others in our group did) who was stopped one night for drinking and driving and when the police put him through the computer it turned out he was wanted for assaulting young boys in the Manchester area. Enough said.
Anyway, about 10 years ago, a type C suddenly turned up in the middle of winter- not a time to come to the Costa Brava to look for work. I was working in one of the only expat bars open at that time of year, and he was an everyday customer- and a huge drinker. He would get so blotto he could not find his way out of the door at the end of the night. He was a very good looking guy- around 35 then I guess. It did not take long to learn his story, he was from a small villiage in Yorkshire, had married young, and had a son. He worked as a builder and had a profitable company and a confortable life. However when his son was nine, he was struck down with meningitis and subsequently died.
Although he and his wife tried to rebuild their lives the tragedy was too much for them, and they split up- hence his arrival here, and his obvious drowning his feelings into oblivion.
Happily about a year after his arrival he met a Spanish girl- as I said he was/is a VERY attractive man but I guess most girls would not have been too interested because of his obvious drink problem. Within a year they were still together, and he seemed much happier- he was still occasionally out and about getting extremely drunk, but months would go by when I did not see him in town- whereas before he was a nightly player. They then announced that his girlfriend was expecting a baby. She had a lovely boy, I was thrilled for him- you could see the change in him. he had in the meantime managed to buy a plot of land when the prices were still reasonable and was building a family home on it.
So that seems to be a happy ending- someone who had been through hell and back was finally getting his life together.
I believe in God, or a higher power, but sometimes one wonders.
Around the time I opened the shop I began to see him regularly again, he lives nearby and his wife was about to drop twins any moment. He was thrilled. I scrutinised him with my drinker's eye, but his eyes were bright, his complexion was clear, and i could see from his disposition he was no longer drinking like before- if at all.
They had 2 twin boys around the end of October- one of them was born with a heart murmer.
On Saturday they became worried about the boys as they both had colds and snuffles, and took them to a hospital half an hour from where we are. There are nearer hospitals but this one is renowned for it's excellent pediatric facilities.
The twins were examined and the parents were told baby N could go home, but baby E would stay in overnight to be monitored. My friend was quite upset as this as baby N was the one with the heart murmer and requested both babies should stay. The doctor refused and was quite adament that baby N should go home.
Well. mum stayed with baby E, and dad took baby N home. he fed baby N at 4am, and went back to sleep at 5am. Mum phoned dad at 8am as she knew he may not wake up, and dad went to baby N for the next feed. Baby N was dead. He has been cremated today without a service as baby E is also worsening, and has been transferred by helicopter to a more high tech hospital.
I am sorry for this long post, but I am absolutely gutted that a man who had done so well in turning his life around has had this thrust upon him.
Please say prayers- I must admit it is at times like this my faith wavers.
ray:
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