Have to say....am bored of this now!

[summer_holiday]

Hi to everyone, I pop up now and again but mostly just read. Congrats to everyone who has been sober over the christmas period! Just wanted to say that although i haven't been drinking (since october 19th) i find myself really REALLY wanting to recently. I find all my energy goes into it, and there is not a lot left over for anything or anyone else. I am positive that i don't want to drink, but how long does it last, this battle of wills? I'm tired of it all. Coming on here is great and motivating, but i can't sit here all day! Mind you, cymru has helped, i cooked his fishcakes yesterday and they were great lol! I was wondering if any long termers had tips or advice? I KNOW that i don't want to go back to the life i had before, god knows i have the scars to prove it, but, will there be a time when the pit of my stomach doesn't seem so heavy? thanks in anticipation, summer xxxxx

[startingover]

Have to say....am bored of this now!

Hi Summer, it does get easier but there will be humps and bumps in your journey. I think this time of year is hard in the UK because of the weather. Its not terribly inspiring is it? Also christmas is a tough time anyway trying to stay sober. I would say just ride it out. These bad feelings wont last. I always say that the real work in sobriety starts at about 4-6 weeks. The honeymoon period is over and we have to start creating a new and positve life for ourselves. For me, I called it the "what nexts" and it did seem to drag a bit...I have found trying to make some small changes to my routine (nothing too taxing) and put some plans in place so start becoming the person I want to be.
Dont panic, you will get passed this and you will be forever grateful that you didnt take a drink.

[A Work in Progress]

Have to say....am bored of this now!

"Old habits die hard" ... or, truthfully, they never die at all. You will always find yourself tempted to engage in thinking that will lead straight back to the bottle. But... if it was horrible for you before, it will be horrible for you again. So... forget the "battle of wills." Just don't even go there. When my mind starts up trying to tell me that I might as well drink... life is hard... non-drinking is a pain... blah blah blah... I just notice that's what's happening... I say to myself "I don't drink" and I start doing, and thinking about, something else. Case closed.

[caysea]

Have to say....am bored of this now!

Hi Summer
Congrats on the hard work you put in to get were you are now.Yes the honeymoon is over and it is not about stooping drinking but living a sober life.This is just as hard as the initial stooping but different.For me to remain sober I had to replace the al and the al lifestyle with other activities that required planning and physical activity.Volunteering has enabled me to focus on others and work to make their lives better and at the same time it helps me live a sober and happy life.Each of us has to find that replacement, what ever it is, to take the place that al had in our lives.Reconnecting with old hobbies or trying new activities. Many of us have put physical fitness back into our lives .You are doing something good for your body and if you join a gym you are meeting others who are living a healthy lifestyle.Think about something you wanted to try and go for it.
I also have taped into other sites that have more people who have long term sobriety and listen and learn from them.I don't consider myself long term at this point.

Stay healthy and Keep fighting
AF 5-16-08

[summer_holiday]

Have to say....am bored of this now!

Sorry for being miserable on my 75th day af. Alot to be proud of! I feel better after a moan and groan. At least i don't have a headache! Tell cymru his sausage toad is on the menu tonight!

[summer_holiday]

Have to say....am bored of this now!

thanks everyone.....although caysea it says you've been af since 16th May 08 and don't consider yourself long term? Is this because you'd like to moderate?

thanks starting and wip for a kick in the butt! I don't come here often enough to warrant a 'summer has 60 days' or whatever, but it's nice to know that people are here to talk to no matter what.

summer xxx

[momof3]

Have to say....am bored of this now!

Summer,

I felt just like you during that time of my sobriety...feeling like gosh, does it ever get any easier? I found that I was focusing a lot on counting my AF days and "white knucklling it." I was feeling deprived and depressed that I could not drink AL. This is a condition that has led me to start drinking again in the past. This time, I am working on creating an AF lifestyle. I have put exercise and eating well back into my life. I am getting much more involved socially and in the community. I am not making any room for alcohol in my life.

Keep up the good work
M3

[summer_holiday]

Have to say....am bored of this now!

have been writing a few things down to help.

Please leave me in peace now. You ruined my mother. You stole my childhood. You watched while I sat with her amongst heroin abusers, and still you smiled at me.

You lurked in the background whilst me and my mother had a great holiday when she came out of rehab......the only one i can remember when she built sandcastles with me. (i was 25).


You still didn't give up when we were watching my mum go through electric shock therapy. There's just no end to your joy is there?

You just about killed my mum. She eventually found the courage to rid herself of you.

Then you turned your sights to me. Flirting and eye contact, it took a while for you to get me where you wanted.

You had your way, every which way, and you enjoyed it. So did i for a while. But, like any harmful relationship i realised it had to end. With tears. With recriminations. With...give me one more chance! I'll change!!! But you never did, did you? You're still the same old, same old.

I have to say that now i am over you. 75 ish days over you. Yes, you still have power over me. Of course you do. 75 days of not seeing you does not cancel out the good times we had. Nor does it automatically make things better again. 15 years with you is a long time. I have done all in my power so far to eradicate you. It gets harder to continue....and yet i then i see my mother. Such a strong woman. You'll know that of course, having been with her for many years. She managed though, didn't she, after many years, to kick you out of the house! It was hard for you i expect. Is that why you latched on to me?

Maybe. Probably. No matter. I draw strength from who i came from and also from who i am. I am me and i've said no to alcohol for 75 days. You can try, alcohol, but sorry, there's no place for you anymore. Move on. Draw a line. Talk to the hand!

[caysea]

Have to say....am bored of this now!

Hi Summer
No . No mod for me. I am committed to AF. In terms of time I have been drinking since I was 14. I am now 56. al has been in my life all my life.To different degrees,the last 10 years daily with it in control of me.So I look at 7 months as really a small amount of time that I have been sober.I know that it will probably be years before the thought of al doesn't pass through my mind.I don't have cravings it is not a daily battle but al was such a part of my life for so long that I view myself as just starting.

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[momof3]

Have to say....am bored of this now!

Summer,

Your last post is so powerful and moving. You have a great role model in your mom.

M3

[smokey1949]

Have to say....am bored of this now!

Caysea your story sounds familiar. I will turn 60 in March and have been drinking regularly since age 24 -- heavier over the past few years. So I'm wondering what AL can provide now that it hasn't over the past 36 years? The answer is nothing!! So in this wonderful new year we must all be strong and positive.

Summer: Great posts - Thanks for starting this thread.

[Beaches]

Have to say....am bored of this now!

Wonderful post Summer! You can tell AL not to let the door hit him in the arse on the way out too! Congrats on 75 days.

[Doggygirl]

Have to say....am bored of this now!

Summer - congratulations on 75 sober day! Wow - what a great post to AL and about his role in you and your Mom's life. Hmmm. When AL comes knocking on my head I will try to think of sand castles instead!

I don't have anything new to add - can only add agreement with what the others have said about the need for a change in lifestyle. For me the "what next?" stuff hit around 90 days or so - pretty close to where you are. I had already made some positive changes at that point to diet and exercise, but I hadn't necessarily started viewing that as a true and permanent lifestyle change. We MUST MUST MUST fill the large gaping hole that AL occupied in our lives with something else. The great news is....think how much fun you are going to have trying new things and finding a new passion in your life!

DG

[IAD]

Have to say....am bored of this now!

It takes a special person.....to make it this long AF ! I know someone that has done this.......but I won't say her name because she is so humble ! ( 34 years sober ! ) We can do it !! IAD.

[gabby]

Have to say....am bored of this now!

summer I loved your post and whats so cool is I am on 75 days too (i think 10/19/07 )
Embarrased to admit I have done this once before but I think I must say the hard part is over. So chin up!