Reality

[Prest4time]

Reality

A HUGE HUG and thanks to each and every one of you. I know sometimes in light of what someone grieving is going through, your can feel your words are insignificant. But every single post here has brought comfort to me. I wish I could thank each one of you individually.

I am thankful for the encouragement as well from those of you who have also lost their fathers to suicide. I may reach out to some of you for strength, as his method of choice was gruesome and I am feeling very haunted with images.

As for me, I am hanging in there. It has been a very difficult two days. He left no will, no wishes, no funeral arrangements, so my siblings and I have been making all of the plans in the midst of being in shock and tears. I woke up this morning and for a split second I thought it was a normal day. Then I remembered. My husband is home and taking time off, and has been a rock of strength for me.

I just wanted to give a little update and send my sincere thanks to everyone. I am going to be okay. He is at peace now.

[SKendall]

Reality

Allie, I'm glad hubby is taking the time to deal with this. My heart goes out to you.

[CS04]

Reality

Allie, so good to see your post. I called earlier and left a message, but figured you'd be busy with family and unable to talk.

How are the kids? What a terrible thing to have to explain to your youngest.

If you want to call, I am here. If you don't want to call or can't call, I am still here.

xoxo.

[Mags]

Reality

A little more love and a few more hugs from your chat buddy. I know this may take some time.

:h:l:h:l

[Rags]

Reality

Dear Allie,
There are no words. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[lucky 2.0]

Reality

Thanks for the update Allie. Continued love and support. I think about you many times throughout the day and say a little prayer each time.

xo

[Accountable for Me]

Reality

Yes, thanks for the update Allie. Lots of hugs to you. May peace find you soon. xoxoxo

[tawnyfrog]

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Allie - this is one of those situations. It's not what life throws at you; it's how you handle it that matters. Sending you strength and brilliant white light.

[Noelle]

Reality

((((Allie))))

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Reality

I'm really sorry and I'll be thinking of you; may he rest in peace.

[toughintexas]

Reality

Allie, I'm soooo sorry, I've been gone and just saw this, I'm still out-of-town, but am trying to catch up. You know my stepdad committed suicide in July, and it was just awful, nobody had any words for it then, and I really have none now. Just know, there's several on this thread that wrote to me, that have had the same experiences, and its at least comforting to know someone else knows how you feel. I think this should be a wake-up call for the New Year for all of us....years ago, a guy near and dear to us, that worked at our farm, was an alcoholic, and he moved off when I told him he had to get help, we couldn't shoulder the responsibility for him driving our vehicles, taking our horses to the vet, etc., so he moved to another state, about 2 yrs. later, he tried to quit drinking, tried and failed, and then committed suicide. I think its a reminder where we could end up, and how desperate, if we let this get the best of us! Call me anytime, you know you can!

[CS04]

Reality

Tough in Texas, not to hijack Allie's thread, but I was just talking about you today -- hadn't heard from you in a while! Hope your ears weren't burning, and hope you are doing well.

[inhiding]

Reality

Thinking of you today ...probably your dads funeral.....no words, just quiet peaceful prayer.

[Prest4time]

Reality

Once again... huge thanks to all of you. We are having him cremated... that was the one wish he verbally threw out a few years ago. We are holding a memorial service for him this upcoming Sunday afternoon. My brothers and sister and I will plan a time to have a private funeral and bury him in the Spring with just the four of us. Today was really tough. Each of us siblings have our assignments, and mine was to put together a slide show of his life since I have a scanner. It was actually quite healing. I found myself surrounded by the kids today... (I have not showered in two days... they let me know I looked terrible!) and all of us laughing and reminiscing over old photos. Amazing how death can bring us together. It was a special, but painful day.

[CS04]

Reality

Alllie, hugs to you and your family. I am glad that your hubby and kids are there. You have totally been in my thoughts. And to your mom as well. Call anytime you need to.

Love, CS