From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

[Kid Shelleen]

And WHAT makes you think it's going to work this time???
I don't expect this thread to get the posts that Eve's did; but her's was so interesting that I thought I'd like to hear from the people who are going back for yet another try at Moderation; in spite of everything they have heard that tells them it's not going to work; and everything that alcohol has done to nearly ruin their lives...
Why are you trying moderation? What's the attraction?
Any takers??? (If not, I'll start it up later)
~Kid Shelleen~

[Guest]

From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

cos were all still in denial..ha! ha! Kid, we all know its bullshit but some of us arent ready to face that yet.
Is that the answer you want? Im not been smart, I mean everything ive typed, today is a new day 1 for me, wish me luck, how far along are you?

[cassy]

From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

For me i think its fear..Fear of change..fear of treading new ground.

mixed with being angry that I cant control this behaviour..i,ve crossed the line and as many say the Off switch is faulty.

Its the illusiion that i might be losing something rather than gaining something by abstaining.

In reality i know this is warped thinking ..but like many others on this site I cant help the thought kicking in that MAYBe i could moderate (despite the evidence to the contrary)

Maybe drinking once a week "isnt that bad"

Maybe moderation is better than drunkeness

And a thousand other denials.excuses i can make for myself.

SDespite having some insight into my delusions about the benefits of alcohol I plod on trying to make some changes for the better.....

I cant answer for others but i have read many many threads on this site and moderating keeps the alcohol firmly in my thought processes as it seems to do for others.

I dont know where or when my journey will end but for today I pray not to drink alcohol.

i need to try and do 30 days to clear some of this crazy idea that I will gain something..alcohol actually doesnt add anything to my life.

BUT i just enjoy the first couple of glasses of wine ...the lesson I havent acted on is that then I go on to drink the full bottle of wine and get filled with self disgust/

i guess i have a lot to learn..thats why I am here using all the support from everyone and hopefully sharing my experiences honestly.

Cassy

[keepwalking]

From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

Because i enjoy alcohol moderately in my life, just as i do chocolate, crisps, cakes and biscuits, i know i cant eat them every day or drink alcohol every day but when i am celebrating a special occasion or enjoying nice food then i want to consume all the pleasures life has to offer. if i couldn't control my food treats and ate to excess and became obese i would go on a diet and follow a healthy eating plan same with drink, i know i can moderate all the good things in life or else i cant have them at all and i dont want to live like that, I appreciate my health far too much to abuse it, end of rant (LOL)

Well, nearly the end, i only know this now by trial and error, moderation in everything does not come easy, you cannot take your ability to succeed for granted, it takes mental strength, support from others who could also eat and drink to excess if they didnt re-train their brain and their behaviours to know better, it can be done though i have seen so many success stories on here and people are happy in their exsistence rather than miserable, only each individual person can discover whether it is doable for them on a personal level and one discovers that by trying, but if it cant be done the worse crime is to kid yourself you need to adopt the sumo approach to life i.e shut up and move on! right def end of rant, x

[changemylife]

From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

Because all of us are at different stages of drinking. Some have recognized the problem early and are are taking steps to correct it. There is a percentage of people that can abstain for a period of time and then go back to what is considered "Normal/Safe Drinking"

We all want to be in that percentage. Its just human nature.

[Peanut]

From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

Because I really like wine??
Because alcohol hasn't "nearly ruined my life"? I just don't want to drink EVERY DAY, which is why I keep trying and need some help with it, as I am a creature of habit, and wine and ciggies and book at 10:30 at night is my habit and it is this habit I want to break. I also don't want to depend on it to make me sleep at night. So if I can get myself over this and still allow some wine in my life, that would be grand and is my goal.
xo peanut

[Montana Mommy]

From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

I have to stay AF cause I can tell myself a 12 pack is modding. Everyone has their own idea of what they accept as modding- but I'll never be able to have just one for very long. I keep coming back cause for some insane reasone I think it'll be different this time. hehe!! Luckily for me I feel guilty the next day and try AF again.
MM

[Guest]

From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

Me too! I must stay AF as much as l love love love wine. I did a 30 day rehab and all I wanted when I was finished was one glass of cold Pinot Gris. Well that was in April and now here I am, bottles of wine later. Today I am day 11 AF but I am on meds and they are killing the craving. I have to do this, my husband is divorcing me, he loves me but just is willing to do this just to get the alcohol out of his life. And I am stressed! But not drinking.

My Mantra "I am safe, I am sound, all good things come to me, they bring me peace."

Makes me remember how blessed I am with all the good things I do have in my life, friends, a house, a good life, great food. BUT IT IS NOT EASY.:heart:

[Sunbeam]

From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

I still cherish those occasional moments of shared wine with my husband or close friends. The wine makes it special. If I did this too frequently, it would no longer be special, like having prime rib for dinner every night or every week. Drinking every weekend is not special. I have found other and better ways to relax, constructive uses of my time which don't include alcohol. I used to think that alcohol enhanced all activities, but now I don't think that at all.

[sunshine_gg]

From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

I think the 'attraction' of moderation is to be NORMAL (however one defines that). I'm pretty sure that we all wish we could go back to having A (one) glass of something - like many people we know.

Personally, I have my doubts that/if I'd ever really be able to moderate. And yes, I'm almost sure that at some point I will feel so confident and cocky that I will try it. And probably fall on my arse.

[AAthlete]

From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

"It is the great hope of every alcoholic that one day they will be able to control and enjoy their drinking like normal people..."

Notice that it says alcoholic, as there are people who have not yet crossed that line that can moderate successfully given a big enough reason to do so. Once that line is crossed, however, I don't believe there is any going back (but we'll damn near kill ourselves trying, won't we).

[Kid Shelleen]

From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

I used to be an alcoholic...

...Until I came to MWO, and found out that I'm only a "problem drinker".
Whew..and here I was worried!
........I came back to moderate with a passion; but I don't know now, I may end up AF, one can never tell. I suspect though, that I'll end up like Sunbeam: the puzzle solved at last, AF because it just feels so darned good. AF most of the time but with some summer evening finding me sipping a chilled martini that gets put down unfinished so I can have the next dance with my wife...I came back to moderate with a passion and I'm winning.
.......I'm 55 years old. I've been drinking since I was 16. The stories are old ones; we've been telling them to each other for years, so I won't bore you with the broken relationships, run-ins with police, missed opportunities and occasional violence that are likely also a part of your own lives.
......Drinking started getting the best of me. My wife knew I drank when we got married, but she never saw the associated problems til we had been married for a few years. The problem was, of course, that now there was a family unit; children, a home, finances, and complicated reasons not to cut and run. I promised to get better; promised to get better; promised to get better; and finally..promised to get better. I never did get any better for very long. Finally, I promised to get better after she said she wouldn't live like this much longer. I said I'd try one more time and if it didn't work, I'd get "some help". It didn't work. Time stopped. The spotlight was on me. I'd run out of chips. She asked me what I was going to do about it and who would I be calling "today". Yow!
As fate would have it there was a big fat ad in the paper asking me if I drank too much and would I like to be in a study. Whew, talk about luck! This would buy me some time.
.......So it began: some blood work, some medical checkups (a PAINFULLY attractive research assistant)and regular discussion with a mental health professional. It became obvious all too soon that I was on a placebo but attending to my problem and then discovering SMART online was enough to do the trick. 200 days and the study ended. I finished most of the year then on my own. But...but...BUT! I wasn't happy. I was sleeping well. Life had it's joyful moments. There was so much good about being AF, but I just wasn't happy.
......My wife doesn't drink, so there was no pressure there. She doesn't drink because too much triggers a migraine; but she used to drink. Doesn't every woman imagine she had a "party girl" past. My wife imagines that too. Anyway, my wife "doesn't drink" except now and then. She'll have a shot of Grand Marnier with her hot tea when we go out to dinner and it's cold outside. She'll sip champagne so she can make a face at it. She'll rarely have a small glass of wine with her shrimp and filet. "Why can't that be me", I asked. Why,why,why,why??? So I ventured back. I'd try this and that. I promised myself and my wife "If I can't do this ,then it's AF forever"..
......I hated that thought SO much;and I hated my weakness..."Look man, you love being able to drink this one glass of wine,right?? If you love it then enjoy it and stop at one...I'll even give you another ONE tomorrow, but you gotta learn to stop at one" The internal conversations went something like that. I worked on finding the tipping point so I wouldn't tell myself to go ahead and get drunk. I made a few rules but the main one is "One and I'm done" or at least,"Two and I'm through"...Last year went very well; a couple of slips as I find my footing, but it's all coming together.
......I wish someone would have taught me to drink when I was young...
*It's OK to cork the bottle halfway empty, or even throw it away..they'll make more for ya!!
*I hate carrying around an empty glass so I used to keep filling it up. Now I figured out that if I don't empty it so quickly, it will stay full...
This is BASIC stuff here!
* If I think a little alcohol makes a special occasion more special, then I have to remember that I said "a LITTLE alcohol"..and EVERY DAY can't be a special occasion..Still BASIC.
......My wife is happy with this arrangement, and she'll tell anybody who doesn't believe me. She said I was a time bomb when I was abstaining, and that it was just a matter of time. (Like I've said before, when I fall off the wagon, I fall hard.) Now she has ME back, and I have my confidence and joy returned.
.....I am SO thankful to have found MWO and at least a few souls who are in the same boat as me.( Even most of the abstainers seem to have a live and let live attitude) I look forward to polishing this shiny new stone of a life, and getting better all the time. I'll pass on what I learned the hard way, and I still want to learn all that I can, from all of you. Thank you.
Here is to a GREAT year!!!
~Kid Shelleen~

[cymru]

From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

After going through the whole of christmas and new year alc free, i cracked up saturday and went out and got drunk. Now, it didnt turn into a 4 day binge, but im still disappointed as i know i cant mod. Once i start i dont stop till im wasted. I was only drinking beer whn out, but i was still wasted by the time i decided to get a taxi home. Why i did it....boredom, christmas being over, not having work at the moment. Some family problems....

[upnorthgirl]

From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

here's what I think...

I would love to moderate..to have 1-2 glasses of wine, or a Vodka tonic..and stop and be satisfied. THAT would be normal. But we are not normal.. I am quite certain other people go all day without thinking about having a drink as soon as they get home from work. They don't hide booze, they don't lie about their drinking. They don't fall down stairs or pass out on the couch at 5 PM. They don't engage in what I call TUI--texting or typing under the influence. They don't call friends from high school 35 years later at 2 AM to say hi. They don't tell the best, most patient and loving husband of all time horrid things. They don't blow off their kids because they just had to have a cocktail --or 2-3-4 before meeting.

I know MWO is about moderation. I JUST CAN'T DO IT!!! I tried--2 glasses of wine New Year's Eve..too many drinks since. I HATE that I have no control and no limits. I have to be AF.

[trixietrack]

From Drunk to Abstinence to Moderation? Why did you come back?

I always show up on these to be or not to be moderate threads. I always say the same few things.

1. if you have been a problem drinker.
someone who drinks alone, to kill boredom or to numb pain on a regular basis.

it will be very hard to moderate.

2. the on glass or one drink idea of moderation is crazy. the reality is human beings drink to catch a buzz, I mean truly be honest with yourself first.

3. once you have started a habit of heavy drinking on a daily basis, it will be pretty much impossible to quit or cut down

4. you need to be positive. if you say that alcohol is evil or the cause of all your pains then you need to sit down and look further inside yourself. it's not the booze, it's the fact that you want to get really buzzed all the time, and you know that after a period of time it isn't gonna be any fun.