Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

So Sad My Heart Hurts

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    So Sad My Heart Hurts

    I guess I need to post this. I hate posting sad things but I'm so upset I can barely function. My younger brother tried to kill himself just over four years ago. He was addicted to crack and AL. I took him in and got him into rehab, everything. My mother basically was useless as were the rest of my siblings. I have an older sister and two older brothers. Anyway, he's been AF and DF since. He's doing great and I'm proud of him. It was so hard for me, I felt so alone, just me and him. The rest of my family sucks.

    My oldest brother has lost his job. He's an alcoholic and his company fired him at the age of 62 and about 6 months before he would receive retirement. He's not looking for a job, he's been out of work for months. His depression is getting so bad it's scary. He's beyond a basketcase, lives alone and with an apartment full of his beloved gun collection. My mother has given up on him and so have my siblings. I feel like I'm back where I was four years ago. I'm sure he's going to kill himself. I'm trying to call him. He has no email anymore. Calling doesn't do much good because he just lies.

    He has one son, David, and I talked with him last night. David said he'll try to help but no one is offering to go down where my brother lives, in VA. That leaves me. I feel like I can't go through this again but it looks like I'll have to. I don't even know where I'll get the money to go down there and I don't know if he'll listen to me. I don't know how to get him into rehab. I'll have to find out about his insurance I guess. Oh God, just the thought of all of this is so stressful.

    I'm just so sad. I've been working hard at my business and it's just beginning to pick up. Now I have to drop everything, my kids, my HB...I don't know. :upset:
    "Action is...the enemy of thought." :l Joseph Conrad

    #2
    So Sad My Heart Hurts

    Walk tall, Be! You are stronger than you think right now. God will never give you more than you can handle.
    Blessings
    Toughen up!

    Comment


      #3
      So Sad My Heart Hurts

      Thanks, oney. My family is scattered all over the country and would never do anything like that. They don't care. That's so beyond something they would even consider I don't know where to start.
      "Action is...the enemy of thought." :l Joseph Conrad

      Comment


        #4
        So Sad My Heart Hurts

        Oh, Be, this is horribly difficult. Oney's idea is good. And if that gets you nowhere... remember that you CANNOT force people to get help. These situations are just dreadful because unless a person is completely out of control, or willing to admit he is suicidal or homicidal, there is essentially nothing that can be done. I faced that with both my parents. My father ended up killing himself, and my mother finally became violent and demented so that I could get her into a hospital, and then a good dementia facility. Before that... years of worry and frustration.

        So... remember that once you have offered help, and options... even if he is not really in his right mind, it still is ultimately his choice about accepting or refusing. I know that is maddening... we want to just keep trying... but that can just end up doing the family member no good, plus doing us a lot of harm...

        Comment


          #5
          So Sad My Heart Hurts

          Oh my God, Be, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I was going to suggest "involuntary emergency admission" to your state psychiatric hospital, but as WIP has said they will not do anything unless they seem him suicidal. What does your husband have to say about this. Do you have a friend who can go with you if you must go? Please keep us posted and let us know how we can be of help.
          "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

          Comment


            #6
            So Sad My Heart Hurts

            Becoming, as difficult as it is to face this again, I hope you take comfort in the fact that you did help your other brother and now he is well. My younger brother was successful (if you can call it success!) in taking his life. I was the one who took him to the ER to be committed. His death has been my fault, or so it seems because the outcome was not what was hoped for. (A little background that he was training to be a airline pilot, I did not know that this trip to the ER killed any future hope of that). Like wip said, the choice ultimately is up to him. My 12 year old son was mad about going back to school on Monday. He said "suicide" under his breath... wow. We can't force others to choose life, but we can be there to help when they need us. My prayers are with you...:l
            You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect. ~ Buddha

            Comment


              #7
              So Sad My Heart Hurts

              Becoming....I'm so sorry, every family has issues. Some stronger than others. Yours are grave in my eyes.......Stay strong and remember, a lot of people have made their own decisions in life. You can do so much, you have a family yourself, they come first. Please do help, as much as you can.....but you can only do what you can do ! Please don't let this problem bring you down......your own immediate family need you too. ( Stay sober ) Take care and my prayers are with you. IAD.
              ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
              those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
              Dr. Seuss

              Comment


                #8
                So Sad My Heart Hurts

                Be, reading your post you don't say what has triggered your sudden need to intervene at this particular moment in time. Is it a feeling you have? Is it because you are unable to get in touch with him right now? Please take a moment to look at the situation and think of why the urgency to drop everything right now. You may have some time here to gather some forces from professionals in the area who can help you without having to actually go there yourself. We can help you brainstorm with that maybe?

                We care, hopefully we can help with this, I think many of us have been in this same circumstance with family members on the brink and can suggest the type of agencies that can help.
                vegan zombies want your grains

                Comment


                  #9
                  So Sad My Heart Hurts

                  Oh Be- I so wish I had some kind of miracle solution for you. Something to tell you that would solve your problem and take away all of your pain. :upset: Unfortunately I do not. I'm sorry.

                  You will be in my thoughts :l I don't know what to say......there has to be someone to help you with this.. I'm so upset for you...I know what it feels like to be the one that has to take care of everyone and have your own family effected by it all it makes me so mad. I'm so sorry Be.

                  P.S. I totally agree with IAD.."You can do so much, you have a family yourself, they come first. Please do help, as much as you can.....but you can only do what you can do ! Please don't let this problem bring you down......your own immediate family need you too. ( Stay sober )"
                  :teeter:JAMMS

                  "I'm safe.. up high...no one can touch me...why do I feel this party's over?...."

                  "no pain..inside...you're my protection...how do I feel this good SOBER?!"

                  Comment


                    #10
                    So Sad My Heart Hurts

                    Be, I can't add anything more to what has been said here. I know all about depression/alcoholism and suicide. I went through it myself, last spring. He showed no signs of doing it. He must of been in some terrible internal pain and I didn't see the signs. It came as a complete shock for me; may he finally rest in peace.

                    I want for you to know that I am here for you. Please know that there is only so much you can do. Cyclefan had some great suggestions.


                    Anytime you need to talk, I am here. I am still dealing with the horror of this, but I think I am finally ready to help others going through the fear, or a similar thing.


                    :l

                    Comment


                      #11
                      So Sad My Heart Hurts

                      Be, I am so desperately sorry to hear this. i can only re-iterate what the others have said and make sure you look after yourself first. Everyone makes their own choices in this life and as long as he knows you are on his side should he need you, that is probably all you can really do...
                      My thoughts and prayers are with you x
                      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                      Comment


                        #12
                        So Sad My Heart Hurts

                        Me too. Look out for yourself first. You always sound like such a caring person. Just want you to know I feel for you, and hope things all work out.
                        Lila

                        Comment


                          #13
                          So Sad My Heart Hurts

                          Be, please checkout this site. It is for family members also. They can refer you to resources in his area and also maybe help as to what to do next to help him - they have a # you can call. So sorry for everything you are going through right now. Thinking of you




                          National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK
                          Catawprint:



                          "It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."
                          -Alan Cohen

                          Comment


                            #14
                            So Sad My Heart Hurts

                            I'm so sorry Be... dont' have anything to add that hasn't already been said. Take care of yourself first hun and see if you can't enlist help from other sources. Thinking of you :l
                            Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

                            Winning since October 24th, 2013

                            Comment


                              #15
                              So Sad My Heart Hurts

                              cyclefan;513868 wrote: Be, reading your post you don't say what has triggered your sudden need to intervene at this particular moment in time. Is it a feeling you have? Is it because you are unable to get in touch with him right now? Please take a moment to look at the situation and think of why the urgency to drop everything right now. You may have some time here to gather some forces from professionals in the area who can help you without having to actually go there yourself. We can help you brainstorm with that maybe?

                              We care, hopefully we can help with this, I think many of us have been in this same circumstance with family members on the brink and can suggest the type of agencies that can help.
                              Yes, we can help.....
                              :teeter:JAMMS

                              "I'm safe.. up high...no one can touch me...why do I feel this party's over?...."

                              "no pain..inside...you're my protection...how do I feel this good SOBER?!"

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X