Question about point of no return

[ezzmae]

Hi guys

I just watch Gazza on You Tube and it sort of reminded me of my own father. Without the rehab visits. And my question is "Is there a point of no return?". I would imagine the harder the problem the more difficult it is to overcome. My father has never ever admitted to a drink problem, he drinks everyday, he binges 3 days per week for every waking hour, he hasn't eaten a proper meal in over 10 years. He is skinny, pale, stretchmarks on his body from lose skin, he has a bloated face and beer belly. He is now having episodes from AL, where he is just completely manic, when really he should have passed out with the amount consumed.

The other major problem that we have is that he lives in Ireland, where he can only be committed to rehab if he agrees to go. He will never ever agree to that, he can't even admit that he has a problem. I envy some of you guys when I hear about state order rehabs. He has been caught drink driving twice, the second time he tried to run away. It hit the courts, but because of some legal issue that had nothing to do with his case, he got off. He is now about to lose his job, he is only 54. In his condition he will never be employed again and being unemployed will only worsen him.

We feel that we have no way to help him, he will do anything rather than discuss his problem, even putting his hands over his ears. With all the AL his drinks he should be dead. His own father was the same and lived to his 90s.

Is there a point of no return?

[kaponium]

Question about point of no return

Hi Ezz - I have had to ask myself this many times - I, myself was considered " hopeless" but have managed a happy and joyous lengthy sober time many times (with a few relapses) in the last 10 years or so. Alcoholism is surely a progressive disease, but it CAN be arrested at MOST stages.

What is VITAL is for the alcoholic themselves to have the acceptance and WILLINGNESS for recovery on a daily basis.

Emotional sobriety is the goal, after putting down the drink - we alkies tend to drink after times of sobriety when things are exceptionally good or bad. There are many great self help programmes - including AA, but once again, the alk has to WANT to get sober for his or her self.

All very best

x

[A Work in Progress]

Question about point of no return

I agree with Kaps about this.... and I am so sad to hear about your father. My own father had a very severe problem, too. It did not end well, I am sorry to say. He was in AA for a little while... but couldn't (or wouldn't) stick with it...

Also, as to your question: Some people do damage to their bodies/brains that cannot be reversed, but there are plenty of people who have quit, even with terribly long histories of terribly heavy drinking, even with some physical damage having been done. Like nearly everything else, it's better viewed on a continuum, as to likelihood of (permanent) success in stopping, as well as in how difficult it may seem to the person who is trying to stop... rather than a black-or-white, point of no return, kind of situation...

As many in the alcohol treatment biz point out, it's better to view this problem as a chronic condition that requires permanent monitoring, with setbacks along the way to be expected, rather than seeing it as something that can be "treated" for 30 days (or whatever), after which the person is all done, and thereafter is supposed to be fine. Because, after all, s/he "went to treatment"! It requires vigilance in a lot of different ways, for the rest of one's life...

[ezzmae]

Question about point of no return

There is a unit around the corner from my house that is a home for ex-alcoholics. Some of these people are permanently brain damaged. It is very sad to the problems that some of them now have.

I think my father has a death wish. I already mourned his life a long time ago. It would help if the goverment in Ireland was willing to be more proactive to try to stop alcoholics who are putting others lives at risk.