Alcohol is NO treat

[Bella]

Morning all. I just wanted to post and say ive done 5 days Af now.

I spoke to a friend the other day about drinking...my drinking. She is not a big drinker but a good friend. She said something that kinda clicked with me. I was saying how i find it hard at the end of the day to NOT desperately want a drink...just to mark my time that all my chores are done and i can now TREAT myself to a drink..a release, a "phew" i made it thru the day kinda thing....and she came back with ...."why is it a treat to have a drink? A glass of wine is a NICE thing to do..but why a TREAT?" And that got me thinking....its not a treat for me because it always ends in disaster (for me) .....having a nice meal out is a treat...having a bubble bath is a treat for me...having a chocolate bar is a treat for me....but having a drink just makes me want more and more and more...and then it turns into this awful hiding of drink...this horrendous "hating myself" thing goes on in my head....and it goes on.....So......When i have been experiencing this..."God I need a drink"....Ive thought...Why? Drinking wont relax me....or make me happy. Whereas something else will. I know i should have thought all this a long time ago..but sometimes people will say something and it just sticks....

Im so in control of things at the mo...im happy. I'm happy NOT drinking. i am looking at ways to fill my time in contructive tasks, fun things....a fab book to read, articles in mags and in the newspaper that have saved from earlier in the day....and when i have time to sit alone and relax..i read them and chill out. That is my choice.

i think my problem is...all i tend to say to myself is..."You CAN NOT drink today"...then i sit there tearing my hair out .....what i have been doing THIS week is....finding something else to do..that is FUN.

Well thats it....If anyone else has any more ideas of what to do instead of drinking, they would be good to hear...bearing in mind that I have 2 small children at home..so i am fairly limited as to what i can do!!!

take care everyone....Bells XXXX

[gyco]

Alcohol is NO treat

Bella I'm glad you have a good friend,positive thinking i keep saying to people,whether you drink or not,drinking kinda is like driving a vehicle,if you drive to much,you eventually get sick of it,and stop driving so much,i hope that makes sense,always remember.you are very special just for realising you might have a problem, your gyco

[Bella]

Alcohol is NO treat

Thanks Gyco...but with me...I'm a binge drinker, so, unlike driving a car all the time (drinking all the time) and eventually getting sick of it..I don't "drive" often but then when i do...I drive like a f****** maniac!!! lol and usually crash!!! what I am sick of..is, continually saying to myself..."why cant i be a normal drinker?" "why am i such a loser?" "Why cant i just stop drinking?" All such negativity going on there. I am NOT a normal drinker....So what? There are many worse things in life i could be/ have....So....here's to focusing on the GOOD...not the bad.

Bye... Bells XXXX

[startingover]

Alcohol is NO treat

Wow Bella, you sound Great!!!
I think you have got it! There is much more to life than drinking..for many years I didnt think there was...but I have found there is.
Your ideas are great, stop that negative self talk and get into what you CAN do..

[veritas]

Alcohol is NO treat

Bella, that really is insightful. Thank you for that.

I know, one of the first times I realised that I had a problem, was after leaving a cup of horrible tasting coffee. I was not prepared to sunject my palate to it's horrible taste. Suddenly the thought occurred, it doesn't matter how bad a wine might taste, you will drink it.

[cymru]

Alcohol is NO treat

Its great to hear you sounding positive bella. Lets be honest here. Alot of us were worried about you, as you only seemed to post when you were plastered and looking for someone to 'talk' too. Good to see you looking to take a step forward.
Youve got to stick at this bella. The cravings will come, and boy will they come with a vengance, but keep fighting them Bella. I really hope this is a wake up call for you bella. xx

[vertigo]

Alcohol is NO treat

I like what your friend had to say to you - I think we could all try to answer that one ourselves. Must be a good friend! Good for you!

[Accountable for Me]

Alcohol is NO treat

The next time you get this awful surge of craving a drink - buy a chocolate bar

Good to hear you sounding better. I like the sober Bella posts much more than the plastered Bella posts.

You are really in a state of self hatred and defensiveness when you are drinking.

Sober, you are a wonderful person.

I am the exact same way.

Love and respect yourself. Your friend is very wise. Way to go on day 5!

[cyclefan]

Alcohol is NO treat

Hi Bella

Why don't you check out the Tool Box thread it is full of good and helpful ideas to get you past that I need a drink craving. It is the first thread in the Monthly Abs section. Best wishes.

[Bella]

Alcohol is NO treat

thanks cyclefan....i will XXXX

[A Work in Progress]

Alcohol is NO treat

Good to hear you feeling and thinking positively, Bella! I agree with CF, take a look at the "tool box" thread and use it (and the MWO book) to set up a recovery plan for yourself... then stick to the plan, and come here for help when you have impulses or cravings, BEFORE you have a drink! That's the best way to use the support you can get from everyone here... you can see that lots of people care about you!

[gyco]

Alcohol is NO treat

bella you have to stop being so hard on you,i have to write this maybe it will help,i beleive were here to listen,what we dont like ,we put behind us,and let it go,my dear,bella,yesterday is gone,concentrate on today,thats an old AA philosify,it is also something i learned in treatment,i keep saying this,and some might not beleive,i to wanted to die last year,depression,over doing anything is not good,my dear you are worth every bit of your,i quote,your life,only you will change for good,or bad,is there really a bad,its understanding what you do wrong,and you do that,your gyco

[Wish Upon a Star]

Alcohol is NO treat

Bella it really is so good to hear your doing well. You sound so positive and i really hope this works for you, i really do. Staying busy and finding alternative things to do is a great help. Me and Cy find things to do such as watching a film, cooking dinner, going for a nice long walk etc which i feel really help with Cy's urges.

Keep up the good work, your doing great

Wishy x x

[Chief]

Alcohol is NO treat

It's great to hear you so sober Bella....

When you think you are having cravings, come to this thread and read how much you enjoy being AF and how happy and proud we all are.

Don