When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

[vlad]

I was reading an extract from Eve's blog where she wrote...

It's a funny thing about life when you're little. You think about what you're going to be when you grow up. But did any of us ever really think "When I grow up... I want to be a person with a drinking problem?"

And it got me thinking. I think became obsessed with drinking from around the age of 8. I remember creating a comic strip about some animal characters - mayor dog and his wife, and their chauffeur Boswell who was a chronic alcoholic (boy could he drink - think I had him drinking 10 litres of gin in one day!!!), he was always drunk and constantly let mayor dog down when he needed to be somewhere important. Around that time my parents caught me snooping in the liquor cabinet - they caught me before I managed to try and drink anything! When I was 14, I created another comic strip about a rockstar called Tony - guess what, he was a drunk too (his poison of choice was beer). The interesting thing - I didn't drink until I was 18 and you can guarantee - yep first one was on my 18th birthday.

It made me wonder whether I actually did say in my mind, "When I grow up... I want to be a person with a drinking problem..."

[Lotus]

When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

I never thought I'd end up being a person with an drink problem. Far from it...I didn't understand what was so good about alcohol. My dad was an alcoholic and his behaviour made me hate alcohol.

That was until I started working and earning money and rebelling against my parents. Alcohol gave me the confidence to be someone else. Alcohol gave me escapism. Alcohol made me grown up and it made me fit it. I didn't want to be the "wierdo" drinking OJ or water whilst others were having alcohol.

Looking back I always thought my drinking was harmless and that I could stop whenever I wanted to. I just wish I hadn't picked up the first drink. Even today I kid myself I can stop if I want to or moderate.

[Beaches]

When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

Nope never ever even considered I would have a problem when I grew up. I hated seeing what alcohol did to people close to me. Then in my teen years when my parents got separated I started abusing alcohol. I chilled out in college then I started having panic attacks (well after marriage and after kids) and my drinking got out of control again. Now I am taking my life back.

[vlad]

When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

My parents were and still are moderate drinkers so no bad influence there. Guess I'm just weird.

[Bandit]

When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

Hi Vlad,
Guess I'm just weird too - my parents were both teetotallers and never really had drink in the house except for allowing some wine and beer at christmas for my older brothers and sisters and some whiskey to 'light' the christmas pudding. I do remember though being a bit fascinated with it and would hope that one of them would leave a bit of wine in their glass so that when I was cleaning up I could sneak a bit to see what it was like. I do also remember my brother coming in pissed one night and my parents went ape with him but other than that I had no real bad influences around me. All my brothers and sisters appear to be very moderate drinkers as did any of my friends. Other than tasting a few sneaky bits of wine here and there, my first drink was when I went to uni when I was 17 and I guess I drank to fit in, feel good and overcome my shyness. After that weekend drinking was regular and it became nightly pretty soon after I started working and moved into my own place
xx

[cymru]

When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

I was brought up in a restaurant and my parents were professional singers who were surrounded by alcohol all the time. It always interested me, and though i never thought i would grow up to be an alcoholic, i look back and think i was born with some sort of alcoholic gene in my body. I started drinking wine at a very young age, and always took an interest in people drinking in the restaurant and at my parents concerts. So though i never conciously thought i was going to grow into an alcoholic, i do think that alcoholism was inbedded in me from a very early age.

[aidanspappa]

When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

I am sure the problem existed before the drinking (and tobacco habit) showed up in my life. Looking back now as an adult it is clearer to me why, however then it was not so clear what was missing. It appears there was a lack of attention, either 'felt' or 'observed' by me. Regardless of what might have been situational on behalf of my angry parents (who divorced when I was 7) or overburdened grandparents there were signs I felt I needed more attention than I was thought I might have been getting before I started drinking.

Daydreams of my youth had me as the "star of the movie", or "hero of the story". My actions in the classroom did not represent my abilities; easily sacrificed for a quick laugh (class clown) and I was desperate to find the attention my fellow mates recieved from the opposite sex as I got closer to peuberty. Of my group of friends I was the first to fall in love, stay with the same person the longest and have sex the least often-if ever.

My first girlfriend relationship was very distructive; as if we were both on the bottom of the ocean sharing just one tank of air, taking turns at staying alive just to be with each other but never going above the water to see the world we were in. Such is the case with any co-dependant dysfunctional relationship, and so was my experience from the age of 16. If I couldn't be with her (in my case), then I was going to have the best time without her and she would hear about how much fun I had from others who attended the party where I was the 'most fun'. Most of the time I was the 'most drunk'. I had others in my group who (when not with their girlfriends) would support such a lifestyle. After a football game, all the players (myself included) would 'find the party', as there was always a party after the game. I found saturday mornings to be a bit rough, but with homework, a girlfriend and a athletic lifestyle those party's were few. Then, I graduated into the real world via the military.

Only 18 (drinking age is 21 in the states) you could drink on the military installation and travel via military transportation to and fro. So, every weekend after work all the guys would stand at the bar or at the wall and hope some pretty young thing would join us and get to know us. Never happened, and looking back what girl would want to yell at a club, "SO...WHATS YOUR NAME?" only to hear back "I LOVE GAMES, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO PLAY?".

So, from there a social life is created and is my contribution to this thread. There are 20 years of weekend drunkeness saved for another thread someday.

Peace

[cymru]

When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

I can relate to the 'star of the movie' bit pappa. I always wanted to be a musician, a rock star or famous singer, and these people i looked up to were always pictured with a bottle in there hand.

[upnorthgirl]

When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

Wow, funny you shuld ask. I come from a long line of alcoholics (anyone who has read any of my posts about my mosther, especially, knows that) but I never drank, really. A few beers in highschool, maybe a few glasses over the last 20 years. I had alcohol in the house for company and it was a joke that they had to move things to get to the cupboard, and then blow off the dust off the bottles. Then about 5 years ago...wham! Just started and have not stopped.

I am still trying to figure out what triggered the start of it.

[cymru]

When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

Upnorth, i know that some dont agree, but i truely believe it is passed on from generation to generation. Reading up on it, it can sometimes miss a gen if both parents were not alcoholics, but its something i have looked into and really believe in. PM if you ever want to chat about it.

[trixietrack]

When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

when I was about 35 and fell in love with this beautiful man who drank like a fish and made it look like soooo much fun. and I really liked it it was such a great high.

He always said that he couldn't help it cause he was Irish.

[A Work in Progress]

When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

That's remarkable, Vlad. I've never heard of a young kid developing such a fascination with drunk people!

My drinking became a problem pretty much right after I started drinking, in my senior year in high school; I drank more than my friends, and obviously liked to drink more than they did. In college, lots of us drank too much... but it was clear that it was more important to me than it was to most others. I think that's a significant factor for many, if not most people with alcohol dependence: it grabs hold of our brain circuitry very readily, our brains respond very strongly, and we quickly develop a tolerance. It becomes a major factor, or figure, in our lives... more so than for most people. That's probably a characteristic of those who are born with a large genetic "load." Both my parents were alcoholic; and my mother's side of the family is nearly all Irish. I truly believe that I didn't have much chance of NOT becoming alcoholic, given how little we knew then AND know how, about ways to help people with early-onset alcohol problems...

[kaponium]

When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

My "ism" was very apparent (with the wonderful benefit of hindsight) LONG before I took the first drink. It was just that the first time I drank was the first time I truly felt NORMAL, like "comfortable in my own skin"............ that lasted on and off, but as with any progressive illness, the problems began in all areas (mental, physical, legal, emotional etc) when I was about 28. Discovering that I was an alcoholic, through the first rehab I did, was nothing short of sheer relief - at long last I had an answer of sorts - that didn't make me stop immediately, or even WANT to stop, but the education has been VITAL part of where I am today x

[Sunbeam]

When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

My drinking increased very gradually over the years. It was at its worst in summer 2007, when I was depressed due to orthopedic and neurological health problems. I joined here a year ago, and now I just have an occasional drink - so far, nothing since New Year's.

[swans]

When did your drinking problem REALLY begin???

I was fascinated with cigarettes and alcohol at a young age, and did not try either until I was in HS. Neither one of my parents drank, but with a German and Russian heritage I am sure someone in my family line did. Since hindsight has 20/20 vision, I remember in HS I was the binge drinker, I would drink till I puked or passed out at times. For years I would binge on occasion during college, but only on occassional weekends. Then four years ago I had a major stress going on in my life and I took a liking to wine, soon a bottle of wine per night became the norm. I have since quit smoking and alcohol is the next demon I have to deal with.