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I was raised by a family of Swedish Spiritualist in a house next to our families meat market...
A roast, steak or KORV for dinner every night. The s?ance pallor by day became the MEAT EATING dining room by night.sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!
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I totally get the feeling vulneralble thing. But mine also stems from my upbringing. Very strict house where your body and sex were taboo. As odd as it sounds I really enjoyed pre marital sex. But after marriage I guess those thoughts of "this is a bad thing" started creeping in.
I have also gained a lot of weight recently and that does not help my body image. My husband does not even initiate sex anymore. I guess we are stuck.
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peacenik;520629 wrote: i think men need physical love and women need emotional love ... I think men feel rejected spiritually and emotionally when their partner doesn't want to be intimate physically with them. women feel used and taken for granted when men want sex, but don't give enough in other ways...it's a circle, eh?
I totally agree with you. My hubby is very sensitive and does take it personally if I don't want to participate. Likewise, I want him to care about what I have to say and would feel unloved if he weren't a good listener. I think what you said is totally true and a lot of the relationship gurus e.g." Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" would agree.
Because of that I think a healthy sexual relationship is important to sustaining your relationship so for those of you who are waning take EvieLou's good advice to jump start your sex drive.
True some meds will interfere with libido so talk to docs for those of you dealing with that.
And for gosh sakes watch out for the birth control pill and St. John's Wort. It interferes with the effectiveness of the pill as my 40 something friend (who thought she was all done having babies!) could tell you.
Hugs,
Eve11
Eveie Lou - love all of your spiritual stuff and I do believe you can see auras!"Control your destiny or somebody else will"
~Jack Welsh~:h
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:
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peacenik;520629 wrote: i think men need physical love and women need emotional love (of varying degrees of course and some are totally the opposite!). men show love with sex and women find it hard to receive that love if their emotional needs aren't being met by him. i think men feel rejected spiritually and emotionally when their partner doesn't want to be intimate physically with them. women feel used and taken for granted when men want sex, but don't give enough in other ways...it's a circle, eh?
Good topic and I am getting a few good belly laughs too."Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."
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When I did 3 years AF in AA, I eventually had to deal with this one! Here's how it seems, to me: Sex is MUCH better sober, IF there is emotional intimacy in the relationship (and IF your partner is any good at it!). If there isn't... you can much more easily do something that might be called "having sex" (but not really "making love") if you're drinking... because all your inhibitions are lowered (I mean, think about it, people who are drunk make choices about having sex with people they would never shake hands with, sober!).
Of course, it's also true that, even if there is good communication and emotional intimacy, it takes a little time to learn how to loosen up and make love, without alcohol. But it's worth it.
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