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    #1

    A question..

    for af peeps in a long term relationship...

    How often do you have sex???
    Once a month, week, year?

    I would like to work out the average times a long term couple have sex , particulary ones who dont drink anymore.

    Come on everybody...spill!
    Tags: None
    #2
    A question..

    P.S. anything under once a week and your a sex maniac....!

    Comment

      #3
      A question..

      Well, Limers, I am married to a retired sailor. What can I say...
      :l
      LTG AF January 13, 2011

      Comment

        #4
        A question..

        Interesting that you ask. My hub has complained that we don't, now, that I am AF, nearly as much as we did when I drank. Now, lucky if it is once a month. Before, prabably once a week. For reference I am nearly 56, him nearly 60. I am without estrogen since a hysterectomy when I was 39. I enjoy and am a willing partner when pressed, but have no urge, drive, to initiate myself. I just feel that I am in a different place, in my life. I love my hub, and feel very much a partner. But, must admit that if something happens to him, I am satisfied that the sexual part of my life will be over. Sounds horrible when I read this back.
        "It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008

        Comment

          #5
          A question..

          Well, what qualifies as long term relationship?

          Mine is still fairly new... 7 months.. 3 months living together - ummmm... 5-7x/week
          and yes, that's sober :blush:
          Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

          Winning since October 24th, 2013

          Comment

            #6
            A question..

            Rarely.
            _______________
            NF since June 1, 2008
            AF since September 28, 2008
            DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
            _____________
            :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
            5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
            _______________
            The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

            Comment

              #7
              A question..

              Tricky one for me to answer..17yr relationship but with 3yr old autistic boy sleeping in our bed, ( using the word sleep very loosly) been af since october with one or two nights off..Once or twice a week if we're lucky is our quota...Unless we manage to get a babysitter for the night...Then its bunny rabbit time
              I don't care who you are...Your not walking on water while i'm fishing..
              One drink is too many... A thousand is never enough...Sober since July 2nd 2009

              Comment

                #8
                A question..

                Whew....happy to hear I'm not the only one with this quiestion on my mind! Thanks for bringing this up Limers. I was recently (welll, actually almost every day) thinking of how pathetic my life has become that for the past atleast 4 years now I didn't have a sober sex... It is strange that I really have no desire for it when I'm sober, or maybe I just don't know how it is done? Or maybe I'm ashamed of my body and my own nakedness? ...and I feel sorry for me - I heard a few times that a woman at 30 should be having the best and most sutisfying sex of her life....so why am I not even near that ? Is it the booze that killed all the sensetivity and desire for sex? I'm only 31! Am I doomed for the rest of my life? ....does it get better at some point or this is what i have to deal with for the rest of my life?

                Comment

                  #9
                  A question..

                  We have been married for almost 9 years and I can honestly say that I do not remember the last time we were intimate. Seriously.

                  With my "normal" married friends I would say once a week is average.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    A question..

                    Wow!! What a personal question. Curious as to why you're interested to ask this. Is it because you think when sober there is less sex?
                    I've been with hubby 21 years this year (married almost 19). He's 11 years younger, is in great physical shape and we have sex 2-4 times a week. When the younger girls oogle at the sexy firemen calendars I thank my lucky stars that I have one who looks as good at home!
                    Eve11
                    "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                    ~Jack Welsh~:h

                    God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                    Comment

                      #11
                      A question..

                      O2M-Unfortunetly I don't think mine has so much to do with AL. I'm still not AF! But, I must say that I miss feeling loved and wanted. It's sorta sad-just living like roomates.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        A question..

                        Eve, I dont think ive ever had sober sex, when I drink I will have sex and have even iniciated it..shock! horror! but sober I just want to read a good book, we have been together 11 yrs and have 4 kids. I think I just need to make this a project and work on it, I believe we can retrain our brains to do anything, even have sex sober Oney ( we can do this). I have used this sex issue to go back to the drink but im determined NOT to do that again and focus on a real solution.
                        This sat night im going to have sex!!lmao....now you all know...yes, hes on a promise! The sooner I get over that first hurdle the better cos the longer I leave it the more I will bulid it up in my head as a big issue and the more likely I will go back on the booze!

                        Now, all you frigid brigids...lets move valentines foreword a bit and make this sat night be a night of togetherness, wink, wink! Im going to cook a steak, be nice, hold my opiNIons and generally try and be agreeable all in the name of peace and harmoney and the longevity of this relationship, Gods knows I do not want to be back out dating at this stage of my life.!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          A question..

                          SEX, SEX and more SEX...sign me up ...LOL...I am kidding with that, but...OK guys, I am gonna get serious here for a minute.
                          I see peoples energy (called an aura). I have seen this around people all my life. It looks different when people are radiating, health and vitality.Then there is a sorta glowing to it. I have found that this glowing is connected to the Phyisical bodies ability to move kundalini energy...the life force that resides at the basic of your spine. Sexual arousal is one way to move this energy. There are yoga postures that are very effective as well as breathing techniques. Part of the joy of being in a Phyisical body is learning to enjoy the Phyisical sensation that come from the billions of GOD given pleasure centers in your body.
                          Being sexual doesn't mean that you have to be having intercourse. Kind words and caressing each other, soft kisses, holding hands and just practicing the art of GENTLE LOVING will go a long way towards bring that HEALTHY GLOW VITAL ENERGY into your life and SEX will become magical again...even if it is SEX without a partner...The art of learning to satisfy yourself is an important step towards attracting a life partner...When you learn to do that, you no longer broadcast that feeling of lacking or being needy (these are quality that will only attract another needy person).
                          I my opinion, nothing is more important than that you learn to satisfy your own needs in every-way then you are in a place to attract a partner that is empowered in the same way.
                          sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

                          Comment

                            #14
                            A question..

                            my husband and i are in the process of upping our numbers again! he's 11 years older than me, and i think his libido has slumped as well as mine. i hadn't been affectionate for the past few months because of inner turmoil about AL, and he felt it and was saddened by it. it's hard to be intimate when you are sad and depressed.

                            of course for the first 5 years or so we were very sexual (with me being the initiator usually), but after a while it fades a bit and i'd say our new average is about 2-4 times a month actual sex with 1-2 other "sessions" thrown in for good measure. i just wasn't feeling it AT ALL because my lover (AL) was taking up all my energy...now that i've got 2 weeks sober, i've been feeling a bit of a stir and might even suprise him this evening with a hottub and some nooky!

                            Comment

                              #15
                              A question..

                              Evie.Lou;520619 wrote: SEX, SEX and more SEX...sign me up ...LOL...I am kidding with that, but...OK guys, I am gonna get serious here for a minute.
                              I see peoples energy (called an aura). I have seen this around people all my life. It looks different when people are radiating, health and vitality.Then there is a sorta glowing to it. I have found that this glowing is connected to the Phyisical bodies ability to move kundalini energy...the life force that resides at the basic of your spine. Sexual arousal is one way to move this energy. There are yoga postures that are very effective as well as breathing techniques. Part of the joy of being in a Phyisical body is learning to enjoy the Phyisical sensation that come from the billions of GOD given pleasure centers in your body.
                              Being sexual doesn't mean that you have to be having intercourse. Kind words and caressing each other, soft kisses, holding hands and just practicing the art of GENTLE LOVING will go a long way towards bring that HEALTHY GLOW VITAL ENERGY into your life and SEX will become magical again...even if it is SEX without a partner...The art of learning to satisfy yourself is an important step towards attracting a life partner...When you learn to do that, you no longer broadcast that feeling of lacking or being needy (these are quality that will only attract another needy person).
                              I my opinion, nothing is more important than that you learn to satisfy your own needs in every-way then you are in a place to attract a partner that is empowered in the same way.
                              truer words have never been spoken!
                              we all need touch and kindness!

                              Comment

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