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**Marshy** · January 18, 2009, 03:46 AM

Scary question(at least for me)

Hi Network,

I asked my counsellor about this (she's an addiction specialist) and she reckons it is theoretically possible to "moderate", although with much stricter rules than most people here talk about.

But I'm like you. I always drank to pass out. That was the whole point. I never wanted a couple of glasses of wine with a meal - I wanted as many bottles as I could physically glug down.

As for you, I'd say try to not think too far ahead. It can be scary to think you can never drink "normally" again. Take it one day at a time as they say and see how things change for you. Do you have a plan at the moment? AF for a while or what?

**Long Road** · January 18, 2009, 03:52 AM

Scary question(at least for me)

Hi network,

Luv your poem. The more U drink, the more U lose. Friends are the most painful loss.

**network** · January 18, 2009, 03:54 AM

Scary question(at least for me)

Marshy i am AF for over 3 weeks now. I don't think i am physically dependend as i have no cravings for alcohol. I know i can stay AF as long as i want. I just cannot start drinking as it will turn to a huge binge.
My plan is to stay 1 or 2 years AF, although i know that when i start drinking again i will drink too much. I know i will not learn.

My goal is to learn how to drink in moderation and staying AF will not fix it as well.

**Marshy** · January 18, 2009, 04:00 AM

Scary question(at least for me)

Ok, so if you know you can stay AF as long as you want, and if you do drink it all goes horribly wrong... why wouldn't you just stay AF? You say you have no cravings, which is where I and most other people fall down. I don't really understand I suppose...

**maasai** · January 18, 2009, 04:01 AM

Scary question(at least for me)

i really understand you network, when the thought of me without alcohol came to my mind, i was really scared, and the fear i had was will i really make it??? or will i keep relapsing like soo many of my friends did. but one thing someone told me ones was am not whom i see, i have my own capabilitie and i have my own God.
what i believed in and still believe in it, made me sober for the last 19months now. so overcome the fear and go for the AF or moderating. if its moderating i would encourage you to not go alone for the drink and also let who ever close to you know the change you want to make, since it's really tricky an alcohol is powerfull, but most believe in yourself and overcome the fear and doubts,
all the best. alot of us have been there and made it so you can too.

**boozehag** · January 18, 2009, 04:03 AM

Scary question(at least for me)

hi netty
You are looking at it from the very beginning of the journey where your brain is hanging on to the idea that moderate or normal drinking is the or an end goal but if you do get to the point where moderation is possible then you probably wont care whether you drink or not and you might choose not to bother mostly as its nothing more than deciding whether to have an icea cream or not - no big deal either way. And that is probably true moderation. As Marshy says at this stage dont think about the big picture just yet just take it ODAT and watch as your life improves gradually bit by bit over time.
BH

**network** · January 18, 2009, 04:04 AM

Scary question(at least for me)

Marshy, i enjoy being tipsy. Thats why i don't want to stay AF

**maasai** · January 18, 2009, 04:04 AM

Scary question(at least for me)

i agree with you marshy, i think going AF at this stage would be the best choice for you since you have no much trouble of cravings,

**network** · January 18, 2009, 04:08 AM

Scary question(at least for me)

Massai, i will stay AF for now. Lets say 1 year. I just wonder whats next, but maybe i should not think about it now.

**maasai** · January 18, 2009, 04:12 AM

Scary question(at least for me)

today counts, let tommorow worry about it's self. the best thing that ever happened in my life is staying without the fear of what happened yesterday,

**Marshy** · January 18, 2009, 04:15 AM

Scary question(at least for me)

network;523068 wrote: Marshy, i enjoy being tipsy. Thats why i don't want to stay AF

Well, boy, do I understand that :H

I'm not sure that's "moderation" though. Still, whatever, it's not up to me to tell you what to do. One thing though: I was AF for eight months, and then I drank again one night. I had a bottle available so I drank a bottle, straight down, in about half an hour. Pretty good indication to me that I can't "moderate" after eight months AF. But that's just me...

**ezzmae** · January 18, 2009, 04:34 AM

Scary question(at least for me)

I don't think I can moderate, for me I think that it would be the first step back to where I started, even if I took a long time I think I would get there eventually.

**network** · January 18, 2009, 04:36 AM

Scary question(at least for me)

Ok i think i now what will i do. Please look at the new thread called. "Learning to moderate".

**caysea** · January 18, 2009, 11:13 AM

Scary question(at least for me)

Hi Net
Just wondering again whats going on? AF 3 weeks? I thought you had taken antabuse so you could have a drink and wouldn't drink to much.No cravings ? Isn't that what antabuse is supposed to do .Stop the cravings. Why take antabuse? Might be a good time to talk to a professional and explain what you are doing.

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting

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