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    #1

    Learning to moderate

    Hi all,
    Just few thoughts about my future.
    I will stay AF for a year and then....
    I will start drinking again. I will try to learn how to drink in moderation.
    I also want to write a blog about my progress, failures and successes. I know i will fail many, many times and i will be prepared for it. Hopefully every failure will teach me something.
    My goal is to learn how to moderate and staying AF will not teach me that for sure.
    I believe i am quite strong, although i will need unlimited supplies of Valium for hangovers.(a girlfriend who is a doctor would be perfect ) and your support in MWO.

    I will give myself a year for it. If i won't be able to moderate i will call it a failure and just stay AF. If i succeed i will be able to enjoy life to the fullest.

    All my love MWO friends.
    We are your friends. You don't need to be alone again. So come along.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Learning to moderate

    Hi Network!

    A somewhat strange approach, but if it all works out then I'd be happy for you. Not sure about the comments re the unlimited supply of Valium for hangovers though? Hope you're not planning too far ahead to make your course of action feasible. I have struggled like nobody's business for a long time, keep starting Day 1 over and over. Keep making excuses, blah, blah, blah!!! Just need to knuckle down and damn well get on with it - sorry, not referring to you Network, just talking to myself (but do I ever listen?!)

    Anyway, good luck with it, keep posting and maybe, just maybe, we can both start making progress towards our goal!

    All the best
    J

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      #3
      Learning to moderate

      Summer Wine, i got hangovers from hell (panic attacks etc). I need valium for it, otherwise i continue drinking(which turns to a binge). Having valium will make sure that i will not binge.
      We are your friends. You don't need to be alone again. So come along.

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        #4
        Learning to moderate

        Like i said, Network, we all have to make our own approach work for us. God knows I have been at this for such a long time, and as you rightly said, I would like to think that each time I don't succeed at least I learn something from it. I had a thread on here a long time ago called "Failed, Failed, Failed" and so many peeps here sent me such wonderful messages of support. I wonder if that thread is still there and if I go back and read it again will it help? Or will I just feel like I've still not made any progress? Hmm, dare I?
        J

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          #5
          Learning to moderate

          Eeeek! Just went back and found it and was shocked to see that it was over a year ago that I posted it!! And I'm still here!!! Right, that's it this time, no more fannying about!! Network, you are a wee star! You may not have set out to do this, but boy oh boy, you've helped me today matey!!! Don't want to become your "stalker" but if you don't mind, I'll be following your progress and perhaps I could keep you posted now and again about mine?
          Thanks again and good luck!
          J

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            #6
            Learning to moderate

            Summer Wine,
            as i said i want to write a blog for MWO people. They helped me so much. If my blog helps someone i will be more than happy.

            The date when i start drinking again is 12/12/2009. Stay in touch.
            We are your friends. You don't need to be alone again. So come along.

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              #7
              Learning to moderate

              hi net,i did somewhat similar in 08,stopped for ten months,remember for many its not hard to stop,its wanting and understanding how and why you have to ,stay stopped,that ,over the past 5 or so ,months ,has befuddled me ,till now,we are very unique,if we stop,we always,and i mean always are wondering if we can,kinda drives you nuts,if we drink as you say,then were in that dark stage and wonder if we can stop,constant vicious circle,i don't say it to offend,if we were normal human beings we wouldn't have to go through this,i to also had very severe panic attacks,any time you alter the brain,AL MEDS or street drugs the brain will eventually put up a stop sign,i to had a friend in my doctor until i went to rehab,i think he felt betrayed,he dropped me and my wife as his patience,unless you experience what we have most doctors havent a clue,i do wish you well,but valium is not the answer,gyco ps i havent had a panic attack for over a year! what do you think

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                #8
                Learning to moderate

                I currently drink occasionally. To get where I am, I did put in significant AF time. Even now, I often have nothing to drink for 2-3 weeks at a stretch. But I had to put alcohol in the picture to learn to drink moderately. Going AF for a year may not give you the strategies and the change in thinking to enable you to drink moderately beginning 12/12/09.
                My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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                  #9
                  Learning to moderate

                  Network, it's always good to have a plan and I hope yours works for you. From personal experience, it's not a path that I can follow successfully. I went 3 years AF...and then started moderating, sometimes going months without a drink. But eventually (like over 2-3 years), I was right back where I started. So here I am again, fighting the good fight.
                  ~K.

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                    #10
                    Learning to moderate

                    Kirova,
                    that is exactly what i am worried, but that means that there is no hope and we cannot drink at all. I still do not want to believe in it.
                    We are your friends. You don't need to be alone again. So come along.

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                      #11
                      Learning to moderate

                      Gyco,
                      consider yourself lucky not having panic attacks for over a year. Does it mean that you don't drink at all or do you have some secret weapon?
                      We are your friends. You don't need to be alone again. So come along.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Learning to moderate

                        There's always hope, net. And you're still early in your journey. Rather than counting the days until you start drinking again, embrace where you are right now. You've made great progess -- try not to worry over where you'll be a year from now.
                        ~K.

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                          #13
                          Learning to moderate

                          I will just start by saying, I am a non-drinker, have been for over a year now and I honestly believe that I am "Living Life to the Fullest", without alcohol. I do not believe that drinking alcohol would complete my life. Not at all. But, that is me.

                          Network, it sounds to me like you have "created your own definition of moderating"....not at all like the description of moderating in the MWO book. That of course is your choice, but I do not want others to read this, and think that your description is the one that is described by Roberta Jewell and MWO.

                          Also, with your goal of going back to drinking after a year of sobriety, and drinking being your ultimate goal.....I wonder if you will be able to be AF for a year. Anyone that has gone one year AF will tell you, it is a strong comittment to changing ones thinking. Changing to the "Thinking of a Non-drinker". It involves changing many things about the way that we live. Can one live a non-drinking life while drinking and experiencing hangovers so bad that valium is needed, is the ultimate goal?????

                          Quite honestly, I do not come here to read about the glories of living with alcohol......I come here to read and both give and recieve support for living without the damage that alcohol brings.

                          Just my thoughts.....I wish you well.
                          KateH
                          A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                          AF 12/6/2007

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Learning to moderate

                            Kate,
                            I am not writing about the glories of living with alcohol, but as you know alcohol is part of our society. We are all humans beings and everyone is different. I for one enjoy being tipsy and i would love to learn how control myself. I never read Roberta Jewell book so i do not know her description of moderating, but for me it means knowing when to stop and its not like 1 or 2 drinks, its different for everyone. The only way to know when to stop is to learn through failures. Thats what i want to accomplish.
                            I know most people would tell me, that is either all or nothing, but i want to try. I have always been a warrior and i do not give up easily. I want to stay AF for now, cos i'm afraid of booze(withdrawals), i think after 1 year i might be ready.
                            Please do not think that i glorify AL, i am not. I want to live my life the way i want it and i don't want AL to dictate it.I want to find my way.

                            Thank you for wishing me well and all the best to you as well.
                            Net
                            We are your friends. You don't need to be alone again. So come along.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Learning to moderate

                              Network, I wish you luck also, although I don't understand your "plan". I don't know why you would want to return to drinking after living your life AF for a year. If you truly do remain AF for that long you will already have figured out how to live and enjoy life without alcohol. Why would you ever want to go back to miserable hangovers and being out of control? Statistics say you cannot be a successful moderator because you are an alcoholic. Most of us who come to MWO to get a handle on their drinking hope to be able to moderate once they get it "under control". The vast majority of us can never get it under control. If we could do that, we wouldn't have a problem. It is all or nothing for us. It just is.

                              You say that alcohol is part of our society....so is heroin and crack, does that mean we should use these as well?

                              We all wish you luck....keep reading and posting.

                              Don

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