Journal of a drunk

[sunshine_gg]

January 19th, 2009



TWO(?) bottles of wine within 2 hours or so...

NO recollection of daughter coming home
NO recollection of partner coming home
NO recollection of dinner, making or eating... did I?
NO recollection of getting into bed (the 1st time)

Woke up about 8pm and I THINK(?) I was looking for more wine
Fell off the stair case - Then went back to bed.



I feel like a total ass (I AM a total ass), I can't even LOOK at my better half and he doesn't seem too eager to talk to me, either. I'm horrified at what I may have done or said, etc. I have NO CLUE. None. With luck I was passed out in bed by the time they got home. But I really wouldn't know.

However, this settles it. I can not drink. Period.
I will stop counting my AF days. And start my AF life.

[KAT20]

Journal of a drunk

Sunshine, Great journal. I finally stopped counting this time. It is forever.

[PHOTOGIRL]

Journal of a drunk

Oh, SUNSHINE, I feel for you. I saw your thread on the new members section/nest place earlier today and sent you a message not to be so hard on yourself and don't beat yourself up. If that was in the past it's yesterday's news and don't look over your shoulder to see it - it's gone, not there anymore. Just look forward to the rest of today/evening for you (I've only got 1 hour left cos of the time difference!) and look forward to tomorrow. Good Luck, Sunshine, I'll check in tomorrow to see how you're doing.:l

[renewal]

Journal of a drunk

hey

You know I'm in your corner...

[KAT20]

Journal of a drunk

Ditto to the wine and

no recollection of getting up and eating, finding dishes in the sink and food on the floor.

no recollection of sex, fortunately I'm married.

no recollection of conversations I had with people and invited to come to the business I work
at. The girls answering the phone and asking me who this person is.

oh heck, thats all for now you covered them pretty good.

[KateH1]

Journal of a drunk

Hi Sunshine,
Many, Many of us have lived through events similar to what you experience last night. It seems like most of us have had to have One Last Bad One, before we finally say ENOUGH! I know that I did!! But, the good news is that you have finally had enough and now you will get serious and get both your life and your dignity back! You have a whole team here ready, willing and able to support you through changing your life!!:l

You can do it!! You can live a happy and secure AF Life!:l

:h:h Kate

[last call]

Journal of a drunk

Sunshine

So sorry to here ur mishap. Remember what Obama said today. "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go on". Something like that anyway. Maybe you better make Mr. Wonderful and your daughter a special meal tonight and some kind of delicious dessert. Couldn't hurt. Hope everything works out OK. I'll be rooting for you.

[kaponium]

Journal of a drunk

Hey Sunshine - keep shining, girl! Fall down, but get back up ay.
Here for you if you need to chat - any time - but ESPECIALLY if you feel the urge to pick up the first drink after a period of abstinence. Stay in the moment, hon - & get through one day at a time x

[Monica]

Journal of a drunk

I admire your courage and honesty, putting all that out there. It's so easy to keep posting when you're on the wagon, feeling hopeful and optimistic. I've always been one to slink away and disappear from the message boards for a while, when I fell off the wagon, never 'fessing up about it. Then I'd have a period of reading posts only, then finally have another go at sobriety and start contributing more on the boards again.

The most awesome thing about the brutal honesty you've shown is that it hits home to people like me that I can never, ever take sobriety for granted - it must come first, above all else. You've reminded me that I, too, am only that first drink away from binge-drinking, guilt and a feeling of helplessness and despair.

Thanks for your honesty, and good luck to you.

[dill]

Journal of a drunk

I feel for you, SS. I've been there done that. Take care of yourself.

[j-vo]

Journal of a drunk

Sunshine,
Hey, it's ok. You've made a great decision for yourself to not drink anymore. That's where to start. Think about now, today. Don't think about 10 days down the road or next year. ODAT girlfriend. You can do this. You have people who love you. That's what life is about. Being there for them and them for you. And don't forget - you've got us PITA's!!!!!!! Sleep well tonight.

[cymru]

Journal of a drunk

Sunshine, I was where you were on the weekend. What makes it worse is that I go on for days. The not remembering things is such a mental killer. Who did I speak too? What did I do? How much did I drink ? Who saw me and where did I go? I know that when we get to the stage of blackout we usually just crash out and I know that I'm usually quieter when I'm on my own drinking cause I don't talk, I listen to my iPod and crash.
It's hard and I know I find it terribly difficult, but try not to beat yourself up over it too bad. Eat if you can and drink plenty of water for a few days.
The thoughts of what we could of done are usually worse than what happened.
Take care, and pm me anytime. X

[tlrgs]

Journal of a drunk

However, this settles it. I can not drink. Period.
I will stop counting my AF days. And start my AF life.
__________________
sound like a great plan sunshine .stay strong and think positive ..you can do this

[sunshine_gg]

Journal of a drunk

Thank you... all of you! For understanding, for your support... for being here.

I'll be alright. Not sure about Mr. Wonderful right now but hopefully that'll right itself as well. I'm exhausted, I think. CY, you're right... I've been wrecking my brain all day, trying to piece at least a little together.. to no avail.

[Blanchieboo]

Journal of a drunk

Oh sunshine....I know that feeling too well. Maybe the fear of what happend, of what we cant remember, of what we dont want to know is good in a way. It will help us to get on track and stay there.
Try to remember your AF days too. That is something to be very proud of. You had a setback, so dust yourself off ( I am doing the same thing today) and let's get AF and Giddy together!