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    About guilt

    Until this week I was a complete 'Intervention Virgin'. I really don't watch much TV.

    *Deep breath* --- Wow ---

    Not only are the stories of the addicts themselves heart wrenching - but so is watching the pain inflicted on their families. It probably, for the first time ever, took my focus off of what I am feeling and shift it to what my family is witnessing and how it may affect them. I got a little clue the other night when Mr. Wonderful mentioned that he sometimes wonders what may await him at home.. whether I was 'present' or lost in a haze.

    Which, in turn, brings about that nagging feeling of guilt. For the last half hour or so, I've been feeling terribly guilty. And, now, I think I'm done For it seems to me, guilt is such a useless emotion; it serves NO purpose, it cannot change events, it doesn't right anything, it doesn't bring about change, it usually doesn't even make the 'guiltER' feel better, much less the 'guiltEE'.

    The one thing we CAN do for our families is to tackle today and every day with new resolve. Resolve to be the person they love, resolve to consciously refuse to put them through this again. Resolve to love ourselves as they love us and resolve to believe in ourselves as they do.

    I say.. down with guilt and resolve for office! Or something like that.
    Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

    Winning since October 24th, 2013

    #2
    About guilt

    “Guilt is the price we pay willingly for doing what we are going to do anyway.”
    ~Isabelle Holland
    "Action is...the enemy of thought." :l Joseph Conrad

    Comment


      #3
      About guilt

      Yep, you are so right Sunny, guilt is the most useless and destructive emotion.

      I have always carried this guilt that I have turned out like my dad..and where did that get me? Nowhere, it didnt change anything, it just made me drink more to forget it..

      I agree, I vote for resolve!
      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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        #4
        About guilt

        Well said all. For me guilt and paranoia go hand in hand. In my life when there's guilt over the night before there's paranoia. And I'm better off without them both.
        To Infinity And Beyond!!

        Comment


          #5
          About guilt

          Welcome to the world of Intervention ...it never fails to blow me away. I am not a TV person but come Monday night...I am riveted to the show...intervention.
          You are so right about guilt being useless ...life doesn't come with a rewind button, but you should be very proud of the great progress you are making toward being the happy, healthy Woman that you are meant to be...it is a pleasure to watch you as you unfold ...like a beautiful rose..
          sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

          Comment


            #6
            About guilt

            Sunshine, I think you make some excellent points here. One is that we need to climb out of thinking only of ourselves, which is what we (alcoholics) do when we drink. The other point is that guilt does not serve a positive purpose, it only makes things worse, both in the short and the long run! I think that at times it does us good to have some sort of Regret, but we should look at those things that we regret, figure out how we can not repeat what we regret and move forward!

            Sunshine, you sound very contemplative at the moment, that is a good thing. Review the past and Plan the Future. The Future is Truly the only thing of which, we have any control!! Remember....the TOOLS Thread is always a great place to go for instant motivation!! Then of course, you have everyone here!!

            XXX Kate
            A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

            AF 12/6/2007

            Comment


              #7
              About guilt

              Sunshine WOW !!! great post but now I feel guilty about my daughter. DOWN GUILT DOWN!!!!

              Comment


                #8
                About guilt

                Sunshine
                what a great thread, for me at least. Sometimes I feel like I wear guilt like a second skin. Alot of it because I do know what I have put my family through. I found this little saying somewhere that I keep on my desk "the past isn't going to get any better" So I'm going to try to do as Kate said-sort out my regrets from my quilt, work on not repeting them, and move forward
                Hoping everyone has a great evening
                AF since 7/26/2009




                "There is nothing noble in being superior to other man. The true nobility is being superior to your previous self."--Hindu proverb.

                "Sobriety isn't a landing but rather a journey." anonymous

                Comment


                  #9
                  About guilt

                  As much as I know that guilt feelings don't directly solve problems, I can tell you that I LOVE never having to have a single guilty moment in 8 months over drinking issues. FREEDOM from the GUILT that comes with drinking just ROCKS!

                  I also totally agree that drinking is a very selfish sport and I'm glad I am not inflicting pain on others anymore - at least not with drinking!

                  It is so worth it to stop.

                  DG
                  Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                  Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                  One day at a time.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    About guilt

                    Im deffinately gonna have to watch intervention. Love the post sunshine. You're so right.
                    DG- Very selfish sport..that's a great way to put it. Never heard that before.
                    Booklvr- kick guilts butt!
                    lilmea-"the past isn't gonna get any better- thats funny!!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      About guilt

                      'Selfish sport'... yep, I like it, too! How very true.
                      Selfish and lonely.
                      Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

                      Winning since October 24th, 2013

                      Comment


                        #12
                        About guilt

                        thanks Sunshine

                        Once again, an excellent and inspiring post. I think we all need to realize that our guilt just makes us feel worse about ourselves (my failures, I call them) which depresses the hell out of me and makes me want to drink even more.

                        "Selfish sport" is dead on...what a game we have played, especially when some members of the team (family, friends) don't even want to be part of the game WE chose.

                        Never have watched Intervention but plan to do so. I think you can watch full episodes on A&E Television - Intervention

                        Comment


                          #13
                          About guilt

                          Sunshine, thanks for this great thread. It gave me much to reflect upon re: guilt's usefulness. I appreciated Kat's comment about 'regret'. Guilt gives birth to regret and the more powerful remorse. So, there is some use to guilt, but not dwelling in it! Anyway, that's my two cents.
                          Dill

                          Dont forget, you can: start late, start over, be unsure, try and fail AND STILL SUCCEED!

                          If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

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