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    my only friend

    I went out with my only friend i have left last night. I'd been drinking pretty much all day. The night started off well, next thing I kno I wake up this morning full of bruises lying on my bedroom floor. I rang her to asked what happened n she said she wants nothing to do with me n our friendship is over. All I want to do is have a drink, I'm having trouble fighting it

    #2
    my only friend

    Oh baby. Im so sorry to hear that. I can relate to it so much though. Have done it many times, and the feelings the next day are crushing. I know you want to drink to forget, but it wont go away. It will be worse when you wake. You have to deal with it sometime. God, i know its hard. Do you want to chat?
    To Infinity And Beyond!!

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      #3
      my only friend

      hi baby,ouch,i hate to say it, the person isn't much of a freind,my wife of 32 years wrote down what i did my last escapade,it wasn't nice to read and i ended in a sike ward,6 months after that i ended in a sanitarium,it did help,i hope and wish you well gyco

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        #4
        my only friend

        sorry, hun

        First of all, having a drink now will only make it worse--may take the pain away for a bit, but whatever it is that causes you to drink will still be there.

        You say you have only one friend left--is this because over the years your drinking has caused you to chase them away? Give the girl some credit for being the last one to stick around.

        What happened last night must have been awful enough for your friend to call it quits, and she probably needs some cool down time. Wait a bit--DO NOT DRINK--come to this place to talk, get on the program. Then try to contact her. If she won't talk, write her a letter and admit that alcohol has messed up your life and that you are now working to make it better. Tell her that you would appreciate some detail of that last night so that you can be aware of your behaviors and work toward recovery. Finally--apologize. How did you get home? Was it your friend who helped you home?

        You can do this!

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          #5
          my only friend

          Oh, this is terrible. If she is in any way a friend, she'll be back. Otherwise, you are better off. Real friends don't' just bail out over shit like that. Maybe you are getting the "tough love" treatment for acting up. I hope you are okay. Figure out where the bruises are from? Is this a recurring theme? Blanking out and having bruises? That is pretty scary. I hope you are getting better. :l
          where does this go?

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            #6
            my only friend

            I have lost friends over the years. She's my very best. Last night was the night she was meeting a guy from the net I remember. All I know is that she didn't get a change to meet him n that she put me in a taxi. I've ruined her nights before because when I start drinking I can't stop. Last week we went out n I didn't drink n was on my best behaviour n she said I was boring so I can't win. I know she doesn't understand. I really envy her n her mates, they can go out n drink normally n have a good time. I know I'm feeling sorry for myself. Just going to concentrate on not drinking. Thanks for ur concern:-)

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              #7
              my only friend

              Baby ... I'm so sorry this happened to you. I've had nights like that, too. Know that you are in good company here of people that understand. :l

              I agree with Upnorth. Just give your friend some time to cool down.

              Unfortunately, some people just don't get it. My ex-fiancee would say to me "why can't you go out and just have a couple and stop?" I tried to explain that one is too many and 10 is not enough. He still didn't get it and kept putting me in situations where the AL was flowing and everybody got drunk. Now, I avoid all of those situations so that they won't tempt me. Maybe somewhere down the road I can go out in that environment again and not drink. But I'm not going to take the chance right now.

              SK
              AF since 1/2009

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                #8
                my only friend

                Baby Sham!



                Just wanted to say that "You are precious and God loves you!" Attached files [img]/converted_files/784162=4674-attachment.jpg[/img]
                Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6 The Message

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                  #9
                  my only friend

                  Right On Vlad
                  Baby, I have had too many nights like that!! There came a point where I didn't even "want" to know where all the bruises came from. I have hidden broken bones from my family for many years. All you can do is move forward. I used to get wrecked with my best friend, and although we don't get together often, when we do, she respect my not wanting a drink. She doesn't even ask questions, just respects my decision. I must now surround myself with sober people, even if that means AA.
                  "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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                    #10
                    my only friend

                    Hang in there. this is the right place to be
                    :crazymonkey:Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.? -George Carlin

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                      #11
                      my only friend

                      :l Baby.
                      I'm sorry and I understand so well.
                      All we can do now, is to look ahead and climb out of the pit we are in. Good luck to you; you've come to a safe place.
                      Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

                      Winning since October 24th, 2013

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                        #12
                        my only friend

                        hi baby,

                        i know exactly how u feel and im the exact same lost my friends due to drinking and blacking out. ive been locked up over night many times, for being an idiot while out, and not remembering anything at all.

                        its a terrible feeling not knowing what you did or who you hurt, while out, i guess its sometimes a good thing you dont remember.

                        still to this day i dont remember most things i might get a glims of what happened but nothing much.

                        its scary.
                        hope you are well, and get your friend back. some for give, some forget.

                        good luck baby.

                        karl

                        an alcoholic is someone you don't like, that drinks as much as you do

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                          #13
                          my only friend

                          You know, sometimes we blame family and friends for not caring enough, not loving us enough, but, we know that the real problem is our drinking behavior. How many times, can we act like fools or worse and expect them to put themselves in the same position again? How many times can we say we're sorry and then do the same things all over again? I know this from my own experiences, I shudder to think of the times, many times, in a blackout, I have said and done horrible things, to the very people that I care most about.

                          But, there is a positive to all of this, we can stop drinking! We can stop drinking and change our lives and those we care about most, can learn to trust us again. They can learn to trust that spending time with us, will not end in drunken disaster.

                          Baby, it is now up to you. Perhaps think about reading the book, making a plan and changing how you live your life. I know it sounds daunting, but, it is so worth the effort!!

                          Best Wishes....
                          A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                          AF 12/6/2007

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                            #14
                            my only friend

                            I agree with Kate, and with those here who said that this is a good time to work on forgiving yourself, moving on, and working very hard on your drinking problem. I am not so sure that I agree with those who said that if your friend is truly a friend, she will come back around... a very hard truth is that we can and sometimes do destroy our most treasured relationships with our drinking, the things we do and say while drinking, and also by appearing to prefer our relationship with alcohol to our relationships with our loved ones. Sometimes a point is reached when the damage is too great. I hope that is not true in this case.... but at the same time, we must not ever take our friends for granted, and expect them to stand by us forever while we engage in truly destructive behavior.

                            Most important: focus now on yourself and on getting over this alcohol problem. Then, when you have some AF time, you can begin to take a look at your friendships and see if they can be repaired.

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                              #15
                              my only friend

                              Like I always say read my old posts to see about guilt and shame connectet to blackouts . I know sometimes when I have hit the bottom rock very hard and is all blue and bruised , I feel little bit better that I am not the only one who have done stupid things. Well I do not wish anyone this place.
                              The day after horror to not remember and people are angry and the do not want to say what you did,,, I know this situation to well. Two of my family members do not talk to me because I said them one things or two how I find them . I did not say anything not true but there was not time or place for that. This will probably never been fixed in my family. But I can not punish my self every day any more about what I did or maybe did in my drinking. Try one more time with your girlfriend, if she do not want to talk , write her letter to say you are sorry. Then go on and take on your problem. Always think about this morning , next time you want to drink,
                              take care,
                              we are your friends so you have not just one friend anymore

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