Sober for a change!!

[Bella]

Hi...havent posted as i have decided to only EVER post when i am off the posion. Good decision. I have had some terrible repercussions lately from my drinking. Its got so out of control its scared me alot. I always set out to have just a couple....but then it turns into a massive binge. God knows what kind of state i would be in if I did not have my husband around. I am a controlled alcoholic when he is around me. When he is gone I am an out of control alcoholic. I have an alcoholic mind.

I have to tell you something rather GOOD that happened yesterday. After my unpleasant night on the wine and my husband finding out....he came home from work yesterday with a book under his arm. It was called "Alcoholics Annonymous" the fourth edition. Well, reading the title made my chest tighten and i wanted to pull away and say "NO way".....but he was so nice to me I had to hear what he had to say. My hub has a friend who he spoke to about me. His friend is a recovering alcoholic and he said it was the best book he had ever read. This friend....lets call him Fred even wrote me a note inside and it made me feel less alone. Fred said the book saved his life...he goes to meetings 3 times a week...and has been off the drink for a year now. I'm reading the book now and I think it was written about me! I am recommending it to anyone here ...give it a go.

I feel good that my husband is not angry with me....just wants me to get well. He dosent know HOW bad its got for me....mind you but ....thats the secretive alcoholic in me...im clever and stupid at the same time. But i feel hes on my side. I told him that its SO hard having alcohol in the kitchen (we have several unopened bottles around) and more in the shed.....I suggested we throw them away..to avoid temptation.....but you know what he said????? He said, "What i will do is put it all away in the shed, OUT OF SIGHT - OUT OF MIND" !!!!! I nearly laughed... He has NO idea...I doesnt work like that does it! Drinking is on my mind all the time..and i will get my hands on it WHEREVER it is hiding!!! Thats a "normal" drinker for you to come out with something that...Bless him!

Anyway...Bless you all too for being there for me. Lots of love and wish me luck.

Bella XXXXXX

[Heavenly]

Sober for a change!!

I wish you ALL the luck in the world ... Heavenly xx

[A Work in Progress]

Sober for a change!!

Good for you, Bella! Are you going to meetings, yet? You will find them very helpful, I think... I hope you will tell your husband what you told us about the "alcohol in the shed" idea... !!!

[tlrgs]

Sober for a change!!

keep it going bella

[gyco]

Sober for a change!!

hi bella,congrats to you,remember this is not about him,i can preach the book, i choose not to,1st hundred and sixty four pages,and then pick a story or more,when you read the pages think of your self,alone,think of not receiving this book,and husband is not there cause of drink, your child is gone, and you have limited supervision only when you see him,this and many more things you will realise once you read it,i have my copy beside me, ive also stressed many times it is on the net free,AA book,also aa online, when someone doesn't want to attend AA meetings cause of the embarassment they think it mt cause the family,this about even at mwo, about, Bella,we all are loving souls, but on the inside believe me were blood suckers,over a long time drink has done that to us, and my dear Bella we have aloud it,i never wanted to say to much, cause of the harm it mt cause,on and on i can go,trust me as soon as you get a grip on it,the floor will fall from under you,see im rambling,you my dear are a unique veing, youve said it,he hasnt a clue,how you are,he will also need help under stang what you've become,Bella ive studied this allergy,disease or what most call it,drunken state for years,twas inormal i would never be here, i like many here wish you well,you deserve it like all of us,just words of encouragement it will be a long journey,mines lasted 37.5 years grateful to have you on the team gyco by the way Bella i wrote it with tears in my eyes and im sober

[skinny cow]

Sober for a change!!

Bella;
your husband sounds very supportive and you are very lucky. i hope you find aa supportive as well. it sounds like you have really struggled with acceptance and that is truly the first step. i know it has been for me any. you just don't want to throw in the towel and say, al is not for me! you sound up beat and positive today which is great

[gyco]

Sober for a change!!

by the way hi heavenly,wip one T and skinny cow

[gyco]

Sober for a change!!

see mwo is like a magnet it draws us here hehehehe and to what wonderful ladies dontthink theres to many men,maybe you ladies scared them away hahahaha maybe there wifes got jealous, can you have an affair over the net , not heavy drinkers ,[note i didnt say alchoholics,]w e would never remember what we said hahaha

[gyco]

Sober for a change!!

and yes gyco is in a wondeful mood sore from the pain but well in mind finally it works again now all never shut up hahahaahhah

[Chief]

Sober for a change!!

Good to hear from you, Bella.....hide it in the shed.....that's a good one!....lol

It's great that your husband is supportive. You can do this....you know you can.

Don

[LookingToGrow]

Sober for a change!!

Great post Bella :h

[peacenik]

Sober for a change!!

blow up the shed...

[KateH1]

Sober for a change!!

Good One!! Peacenik!

Glad to hear you are sober today, Bella. I hope that you can come to grips about how serious this is! There is no such thing as a "controlled alcoholic"......believing that only opens the window for your next drinking disaster................read the AA book.....you can learn a lot from those stories.

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Sober for a change!!

Bella,

My brother joined AA over four years ago and hasn't had a drop since. He still attends meetings and it has saved his life. He's such a happy, productive person now.

I wish you the best. Thank you for the sober post, it's beautiful.

Be

[upnorthgirl]

Sober for a change!!

Right on Bella!

You are right on the mark about hiding AL in the shed. I had so many hiding places I forgot where they all were. Still occasionally find one. I will have to do a thorough spring cleaning--would be so embarassed if something happened and my kids had to find it.

Stay strong.