OK so what is the consensus on... social drinking?

[gkej0507]

OK so what is the consensus on... social drinking?

Hi again all

Many many thanks for your replies. It seems that there is varied opinions on this but overwhelming... AF is the way to go. I'm leaning that way myself. Today is Day 6 AF. And because I've been super busy & exercising a lot I have found it easy after the weekend was over.

Anyway.... another thought is to have the obligatory glass to toast the birthday girl and then Coke Zero and some delicious food after that. I have a GF that doesn't drink so I will stick with her, that will make it easier for me & I trust her enough to tell her what/why so she can help me if I need it.

AWIP:

Whoa.... your counselor is impressed because you can go 12-16 hours without alcohol???? And based on this, he thinks you are a good candidate for controlled drinking?

What he meant was that because my BAC is at zero for at least that time - (ie I actually go about 20 hours without drinking so my BAC is at zero sometime in the 4 - 8 hours after that) & I have NEVER drunk to the point of passing out, he thinks that my need is mental not physical so yes, controlled drinking in a social situation is possible. My AL problem is drinking on my own, I drink more than I should whereas in public I'm quite conscious of how much I'm drinking.
It's hard to explain I guess because everyone's situation is different.

I'm really nervous about this event though, I don't want to spoil my effort so far if I can help it. At the same time, if I can make it through in a CONTROLLED way, that will be an awesome achievement too.

Anyway :thanks: and :l to all of you for listening & advising

:h GKE

[A Work in Progress]

OK so what is the consensus on... social drinking?

OK, here are some things to remember, as you work through this.

First, many people find that they are able to successfully engage in a few controlled drinking experiments, and maybe even do this for a month or so, after being AF for a while. They usually feel quite a bit of pride and hopefulness at that point. However, many soon find that their drinking then begins to gradually escalate to previous levels, or even higher, and all control is lost. Giving up the alcohol again at that point can be extremely difficult. I went through this sequence myself, several times. It was awful.

Second, there is no genuine distinction between a "mental" and a "physical" addiction problem. Those who cannot control their consumption have some problems going on in the structure and function of the brain, and of course the brain manifests in both "mental" and "physical" ways. They are not separate problems. The sense of compulsion, or craving; the nausea and shakes; the anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation; all of those aspects of alcohol/drug dependence, and many others, are all mental AND physical...

At one time it was generally believed that some people, those who displayed tolerance (it takes more to get the same effect) and severe withdrawal symptoms, were "physically addicted" whereas others had lesser problems, perhaps emotional problems, and they were not truly addicted. This is no longer considered an accurate picture of alcohol/drug dependence. Most people who drink a lot develop tolerance, even those who are fully capable of controlling their consumption. And many people who are severely dependent, as measured by extremely high consumption rates and extremely poor control over their consumption, together with strong "cravings," have few if any noticeable withdrawal symptoms when they quit drinking.

Whatever you decide, best wishes, and do stick around and let us know how you are doing. I'd also suggest you read the MWO book and the "tool box" thread, here on this site!

[brittzak]

OK so what is the consensus on... social drinking?

Amen to everything WIP just said!.....

[gkej0507]

OK so what is the consensus on... social drinking?

First, many people find that they are able to successfully engage in a few controlled drinking experiments, and maybe even do this for a month or so, after being AF for a while. They usually feel quite a bit of pride and hopefulness at that point. However, many soon find that their drinking then begins to gradually escalate to previous levels, or even higher, and all control is lost. Giving up the alcohol again at that point can be extremely difficult.

Second, there is no genuine distinction between a "mental" and a "physical" addiction problem. Those who cannot control their consumption have some problems going on in the structure and function of the brain, and of course the brain manifests in both "mental" and "physical" ways. They are not separate problems. The sense of compulsion, or craving; the nausea and shakes; the anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation; all of those aspects of alcohol/drug dependence, and many others, are all mental AND physical...

Wow! Thank you. Although I am scared now (about the first paragraph), I think that is a good thing... to be wary of being successful at control but to always watch for the slipping (or escalating as you said).

Knowledge is power, and it is indeed wonderful that you have shared this with us. Clearly there are many different aspects to understanding an alcohol addiction. I still :h my counsellor because he helped when I needed it badly but... he is not the be all and end all of knowledge & experience.

Thank goodness for all you people on MWO :l

[KateH1]

OK so what is the consensus on... social drinking?

Ditto to what WIP said!! As always, WIP you are right on target with this!!

[lilmea]

OK so what is the consensus on... social drinking?

Ditto to what WIP said as well as several others.

Drinking is just NOT and opttion.

[gkej0507]

OK so what is the consensus on... social drinking?

UPDATED for those who're interested...

OK so I got to Day 8 AF, got invited out for a girls night out (night before the birthday party that has been planned for a while)

So I went to the first pub (bar) & sat on a Diet Coke there, next pub had 1 glass of sparkling, next pub had another Diet Coke with some dinner then 1 Mojito (cocktail with 1 shot of Barcadi which is a white rum). Over about 6 hours. Drove all the drunk people home.

Birthday party had 1.5 glass sparkling, Coke Zero, 2 mouthfuls of white wine with dinner, 2 mouthfuls red wine with cheese platter, half shot of cointreau in a jelly shot with dessert, then just water. Over about 6 hours. Drove home.

So I know that Fri night I had 2.5 standard drinks & Sat night I estimate I had 3.5 - 4 standard drinks. Didn't really feel like drinking last night, briefly thought that a wine might be nice but didn't have any so..... back to AF this week.

I'm really happy with the way my weekend panned out, I was a bit tired from the late nights but not hungover & I managed to do 2.5 hours of exercise over the 2 days, cooked 3 meals for the week ahead, did all my washing etc & took my kids to ballet/water park.

So there we are. I know that I need to be vigilant to stop AL creeping back into my life but if I can stick to the recommended 7 standard drinks per week (for women), I'll be very happy with that.

:thanks: for listening

:h GKEJ