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    #1

    not good

    I feel like this is the perpetual carousel ride, I am sober, get fed up, need to numb myself because of the pain of life, then dry out again..............right now I am wondering if that is even possible............................??? I cannot seem to stop again, ashamed to go to AA, went to a meeting yesterday, 1/2 of my friends on facebook are AA people so feel like a freak there too.............................what am I ever gonna do to be happy???????????????????? I am sooooooooooooooo upset, but will be passing out soon, couldn't even go to work today, not hung over, just sad and hating my job........................?????

    Love you all, wish I could have a big hug, need something now..........................

    MA:l:upset::upset::upset::upset:
    :rays:My happiness is my greatest gift to others:rays:eace:
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    #2
    not good

    many

    I have had 4 months sober, then get a week then start drinking again, cannot stand it!!!! I know it gets easier but right now am so depressed I cannot stand it, just had to reach out...............thanks and I will keep checking in, need to see some lovin here................feeling really lonely........................:upset::upset:

    MA
    :rays:My happiness is my greatest gift to others:rays:eace:

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      #3
      not good

      Hey Cowgirl

      :groupluv::groupluv::groupluv::groupluv: times one millions zillion
      What you want, baby we got it!

      If you need more hugs and love :h: just give a holler
      Would have sent more but I guess the limit is six images

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        #4
        not good

        thanks

        I love you guys, you are awesome, bringing tears to my eyes..............................love ya!!

        MA:h:h
        :rays:My happiness is my greatest gift to others:rays:eace:

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          #5
          not good

          hi MA, so sorry you are in so much pain ... just want to send you a hug:l:l
          :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

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            #6
            not good

            Here's some more hugs :l:l:l:l:laka mary ann
            Starting over again
            ray:

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              #7
              not good

              dont be ashame cowgirl .. just deal with it and learn from it .. yeah you done it before and you will do it again but now is the time to look forward .. not what you did yesterday ..
              we have all been there done that too ..cowgirl ..but the thing is to move on ..
              go back to those meeting they do help and i believe they did help you .. so be proud and raise your head up .. and say i will do what ever it takes to get back where i was ..
              :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
              best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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                #8
                not good

                PS FORGOT SOME HUGS BIG BIG HUGS JUST FOR YOU COWGIRL
                :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
                best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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                  #9
                  not good

                  love

                  I feel the love here, you guys are my lifeline..................I need to have time to do this more often, off to bed though, Mike is drunk and rather then drink will sleep to escape the pain. :upset::upset:
                  this is sooooooo hard, gotta get stronger and need your help..............

                  Again, I would be lost without your love, thanks for the hugs and will go to an AA meeting tomorrow, and look for the similarities..................not differences...............

                  XOXO:h:h
                  G'night!

                  MA
                  :rays:My happiness is my greatest gift to others:rays:eace:

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                    #10
                    not good

                    :l:heart::l

                    Never give up!

                    As Scarlett O 'Hara in Gone With The Wind would say: 'Think about that tomorrow. Tomorrow's another day.' Well something to that effect.

                    We're thinking of you.
                    Dill

                    Dont forget, you can: start late, start over, be unsure, try and fail AND STILL SUCCEED!

                    If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

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                      #11
                      not good

                      Just wanted to send some hugs and support. I think a huge key here is to not align your identity today with your mistakes from the past. They are what they are... you cannot change the past. But it does not have to define your future, or define you. You are new each morning..

                      Hope you feel better soon.
                      If you do not live the life you believe, you will believe the life you live.

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                        #12
                        not good

                        MA
                        I know how hard it is to live in an unhappy relationship. We have had this discussion, but you can not let him do this to you. I know you want to be happy and you will need to put yourself first. I hope you are getting some good rest. PM me or we can talk, but please do not let him keep making you feel like you need to be numb.
                        XOXO
                        Time

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                          #13
                          not good

                          You go, girl - sending all manner of positive vibes your way. Hope it all works out.

                          Vera-b

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                            #14
                            not good

                            Love & hugs to you MA...... Hang on to your power. You can do it. I love what Gia (btw, welcome back, Gia!) said "You are new each morning". Get up tomorrow and put on BGP and a smile and go for what MA wants. :l:l
                            sigpic
                            Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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                              #15
                              not good

                              So sorry you are going through a huge depression right now.

                              You were doing so well! You just have to get back into the game as you know drinking doesn't help anything except numb the pain for a few hours.

                              I wish I could hug you.

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