Finding that SOMETHING ...

[Skinned Knees]

I've got a question. First, let me say that I'm almost 30 days AF. I've made alot of changes in my life that has really helped me alot to keep staying sober. But there is something that's been bothering me and makes me scared at the same time. I'm afraid that I might not find the one thing that truly makes me happy. I'm afraid that if I don't find it, that I'll end up slipping up and looking for it in the bottle again. I have many things that make me feel content, but I haven't found that one thing that really makes me happy. Does anyone else feel like this? I feel like I NEED to find that one thing. Any thoughts?

SK

[A Work in Progress]

Finding that SOMETHING ...

OK, here's one thought that comes to my mind. More a question, I suppose. Why should there be such a close connection, in your mind (or anyone's mind) between "finding happiness" and drinking? Let's say that you spend the rest of your life always feeling that you are not as happy as you would like to be... would the best response to that situation be alcohol? Why? If your drinking is anything like mine, drinking would just make a reasonably content life into a living hell. Is that the logical response to deciding that life had, perhaps, sort of cheated me (or you) out of a higher degree of happiness?

At one time, I had been AF for a pretty good length of time, maybe 6 or 9 months. I was doing much better than I had been, when drinking, but still was having a hard time in my life with my partner. I decided that life wasn't any better, not drinking, than it had been, drinking. That was a lie I told myself, and chose to believe. I began to drink again, and very quickly my drinking did indeed made life much worse, but I felt unable to quit again for quite a long time.

I think that sometimes we drink out of spite, when we think life hasn't given us what we feel we ought to get. It's a normal, but childish, response to disappointment. Once we take a good hard look at it, I think we would all agree that it isn't the way we really want to engage in this one life we are given...

So: of course, work on finding whatever might make you happy, or happier! And please don't fool yourself into thinking that adding alcohol into any situation will do anything except make it much worse!

[Ripple]

Finding that SOMETHING ...

oh dear, you are strong to be AF to begin with almost 30 days.. YES, we examine our happiness.. and what makes YOU happy right now? You are part of a forum and trying to rid Al of your life? Do you feel better without alcohol? I think your avatar with skinned knees is not telling the whole story. What is really going on?

Ripple .. :l

[peacenik]

Finding that SOMETHING ...

life is about always searching for a certain happiness...if you ever really find "it" what will be left?

[Skinned Knees]

Finding that SOMETHING ...

I think I better rephrase that ... I'm not looking for total happiness in my life. I'm just looking for that one thing that truly brings me happiness. In other words, someone may find painting or sculpting brings them happiness. Some may find that dancing or sports or something like that makes them happy. I haven't found that one thing yet. I've found things that make me content, like reading, but contentment is different from something that brings true happiness. Did I make myself clearer this time? I'm really tired tonight and having trouble expressing myself.

SK

[Ripple]

Finding that SOMETHING ...

Skinned You have my Attention.. are you lonely right now? Do you have an Alcohol problem or is it just this forum seems kindly and interesting? No one can help you with out knowing what is goin on? Be safe and express how you feel.. :l

I am Ripple.. the funny one . :h

[tawnyfrog]

Finding that SOMETHING ...

Skinned - do you have any pets? They can often provide great joy.

[Skinned Knees]

Finding that SOMETHING ...

Ripple ... I've been around for quite a while now. Yes, I do have a drinking problem. I am taking Campral and have been sober for almost 30 days. (Actually, I only drank 3 days in January.) Anyway, I'm not lonely nor am I depressed. I was just sitting here and wondering what that one thing would make me truly happy. Something that I could turn to when things aren't going great that would just put a smile on my face and make me happy.

SK

[cyclefan]

Finding that SOMETHING ...

I think I get what you are saying SK. I kind of had the same feeling when I neared that 30 day mark. I don't think you are saying that AL brought you that happiness, but I am guessing that what you are trying to express is that maybe you thought that once you stopped drinking, that you would find that one thing that brings true joy? Or at least, you would discover that you have an interest in something outside of yourself that you could explore.

I do not mean to put words in your mouth, I'm trying to see if I'm helping you express your dissatisfaction.

[Ripple]

Finding that SOMETHING ...

Skinned.. when you find it .. let me know.. I'll take you out to lunch with an Olive. My toy poodle .. shes a party poodle.. i was concerned.. and now i know you are safe. :l

[Skinned Knees]

Finding that SOMETHING ...

I do, Tawny. And yes, now that I think about it, she does bring me alot of happiness. My daughter does, too, but she's at that age right now ... being mouthy and very aggravating at times.

[Skinned Knees]

Finding that SOMETHING ...

That's exactly it, Cycle!!!!!!! Thanks for putting the words into my mouth. LOL ... I have problems expressing myself sometimes, especially when I'm tired.

[cyclefan]

Finding that SOMETHING ...

OK, I had that too.

I finally relaxed with it. I am allowing myself to explore a little more. Today I bought three books, one on making vintage aprons (I don't own a sewing machine but my daughter in law does); one on tying chinese knots; and one on crocheting funky hats. I passed by the French lessons but they pulled, they pulled.

None of these things are what we are talking about for me, but allowing myself to go out of my comfort zone a little I think will get me there. Good luck to you. Hope you find yours. xo Beth

[Ripple]

Finding that SOMETHING ...

tawnyfrog;539374 wrote: Skinned - do you have any pets? They can often provide great joy.

I love my Tawny Frog.. Often = Tawn provides security to the forum. Great Joy she brings to Ripples!!! :H

[inhiding]

Finding that SOMETHING ...

Skinned,
I know exactly how you feel, I have satisfaction because I have a job, can feed my children and have a husband ...but it's without that inner glow that I once had....the smile I had without anything really causing me to smile, the feeling like life was happy without any particular reason....just inner happiness ....
BU