Having fun

[network]

Yesterday evening i went out with my friend. He is very a close friend of mine, he knows about my drinking problem and all the time he was very supportive.
We had discussion about drinking and i told him that i believe i've learnt how to have fun without drinking.
Well, he said you are only fooling yourself, i mean i am happy for you, but you are fooling yourself. You cannot have fun without booze and deep in heart you know that.

Now, i don't want to drink anymore, i'm doing great and i don't want to go back to my old ways, but is he right? Am i fooling myself? Are we all just fooling ourselves?

[Captnjack]

Having fun

No he is not right!!!!! sober fun is better. For the simple reason you wake feeling good and remembering the night. I suggest for the fellow who said are you kidding wake him him up with a loud smelly fart offer bacon and eggs for brekky and suggest a day at the zoo!!!!! hell probably groan in pain and you will get the last laugh the best laugh of the day!!!!!!!
Love Cap

[startingover]

Having fun

Netty, I think he is wrong too...is fun really being out of control, doing things you regret, feeling ill, feeling anxious and depressed and being a slave to the bottle? I dont think so...
I think we have a different kind of fun when we are sober, our expectations are different and we do different things...but I do believe that when we feel happy sober, its a genuine happiness that simply isnt real when we are drinking...

[Guitarista]

Having fun

Hiya Net.
I went out with a very close friend of mine recently too, and he also knows of my drinking problem, and has always been supportive. We too, had a discussion about whether or not you can still have fun without alcohol. He said he was happy for me, but that i would be only fooling myself if i thought that i could only have fun with alcohol. He said...........You know deep in your heart, that you CAN have fun without booze. Needless to say, this friend is a valued one, and remains so.

Net, this is a good question. I am having more and more fun without booze. This may have something to do with my 'living life now' sort of frame of mind. Mind set is everything, i think. I feel less and less deprived of my al fix these day's, because i'm doing other stuff i love, and it's a lot less of a focus. Deep in your heart, what you wanna do? Take care,...........G.

[fickle]

Having fun

Net, you DEFINITELY CAN have fun without booze. :l

Recently while being AF I spent an evening with friends who were all getting sozzled. I will admit, at first I felt anxious that I would be boring and 'no fun' to be with.. But actually things were fine. I was glad I was joining in the 3rd or 4th bottle of wine by 10pm and I was glad that out of us all, after a long night of fun, I was the only one who woke up without a hangover & without feeling silly.

I think the fear of not being fun enough.. the old 'social anxiety' was what makes people think you need an 'ice breaker' before you can have fun. The key is to psyche yourself up and be confident that you are fun. Now I guess some friends are easier to be confident with than others. That is what I'm learning.

Since being AF I definitely have more fun with my kids being AF, and that's because I have more energy, am more present with others in general, can think more clearly,.. Oh and not to mention looking and feeling better, losing weight.. um.. what is 'not fun' about being AF again????? :H:H:H

[network]

Having fun

Thanks to all for responses, i also believe that i can have fun without AL, but when people who don't have drinking problem also need AL to have fun you start to question that.

Thanks again

[kaponium]

Having fun

Hey Net, for me, there was quite simply NO fun left in alcohol. my life was full of misery, terror, bewilderment, frustration and despair. I hope your friend will try and support you more than he has. It is certainly a sad lad who cannot have fun without alcohol, alkie or not. Bless you.

[Monica]

Having fun

I reckon you have it sorted and it's your mate who's got a problem. He sounds a bit defensive. If you're having fun, out and about, while sober, then that blows his excuse for 'having' to have some booze under his belt, to have a good time, I suppose.

It annoys me when people verbally attack friends who change habits for something that's obviously better for them healthwise, eg quitting smoking or drinking, or losing weight or becoming more active. You always hear fat bastards saying, "You don't want to take it too far and get obsessive about it", etc. They say it between puffs, drinks and bites of pie, I notice!

[cymru]

Having fun

Its the other way round for me. I cant have fun with booze. Without it I can have fun, and enjoy life. Booze brings me misery, self hatred and no life.

[aprilmoon]

Having fun

Network, you know yourself better than your friend does. Don't let that friend be a stumbling block to you being AF!

[lilmea]

Having fun

but when people who don't have drinking problem also need AL to have fun you start to question that.

Net-if your friend has to have AL to have fun, then I wonder if maybe he doesn't have a drinking problem. I was very shy and introverted when I was younger and I used it as an excuse to drink. Drinking allowed me to be more "out there" It let me have more "fun"

Another thought might be your friend is afraid he's losing his good drinking buddy.

Ditto on what Starts said.

[KateH1]

Having fun

network;539488 wrote: Thanks to all for responses, i also believe that i can have fun without AL, but when people who don't have drinking problem also need AL to have fun you start to question that.

Thanks again

Netty, I think you said it all, right here.....perhaps this friend is in Denial?!?!