Back and challenges

[aprilmoon]

Back and challenges

Hey Luk, I'm new here compared to you. I just wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry you are having to go thru all of this.

This website and the people on it are always on my mind while I go thru my day. Knowing that other people are out there just like me, struggling with drinking, helps me. I know I'm not in this by myself and neither are you. I wish you the best in getting your house back in order. Also those redneck men sometimes make good husbands. My husband is a proud redneck. LOL

[bestlifeldms]

Back and challenges

Lukalee! I am so sorry for the mess that has come into your life. I can relate, but in a different way. Our house burned down about a year and a half ago and we lost everything, including our family pet cat. Thank heaven my husband, son, and Sadie our dog, who were home at the time (10:30 AM) got out safely. The few things that were not totally burned, (in the lower level) were destroyed by water. After a few days, the smell was unbearable. I tried to drink to escape the pain, but it was still there when I came to. As devistating as it was, being displaced, having all of our precious momentos (baby books, layettes, etc.) and literally every physical thing we owned, destroyed, helped to lead me to sobriety. I realized that all we really have is ourselves. We are even more blessed if we have loved ones. But it is us / self - that we live with 24/7. I came to realize that I wanted to be my best self once again. Someone that I loved and respected. I deserve that. You deserve it too. Our loved ones deserve for us to be our very best. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you piece your life back together. You can create an even better life than you had before. Hugs, Best

[upnorthgirl]

Back and challenges

Hey, Luk

Check in sweetie and let us know how you are doing! :l

[lukalee]

Back and challenges

Thanks for checking on me. Life is so ironic. I have been cooped up, just my beer and I, and of course now that I want to quit the chaos, all of a sudden I am having people call me up to go out---not to get loaded or anything---but to hang out and have a few drinks...sucks because I miss the adult interaction. Met with my sister tonight, had three, which is good for me. But a friend has called me up to see her on Friday, I have not seen her in 6 months or so. When we go out, we normally do drink, but I have been able to go out with her several times after joining this site and not drink.....but then of course the calls don't come so frequently because I guess I am a bore to go out with when I am not drunk. LOL JK.
I may or may not go out on Friday, if I go, I may or may not drink. I am trying to find a good path for quitting this. Usually when I make a big deal of quitting, it becomes a big deal and I drink even more. It's not that I am not ready, but I need to make a plan, a schedule so to speak, that I haven't had a chance to really develop. I have made many mistakes that I need to evaluate on why I continue to do this---regardless of crappy circumstances. How many of us wake up every day or every time we have a hangover or bad binge saying, "I am never going to drink again?" My saying this over and over again is certainly not working.
This is not my first rodeo. Although I have learned a lot since I first came here, obviously I have not learned enough. But, what I have learned is that I tend to take things into "chunks". My first 30 days joining was pure will-power. The second was utilizing other tools, but I think I dumped the will-power thinking these other tools would get me by. During my third 30 days I visited the doctor...etc, etc. What I have come to realize is that it is a combination of all of the tools to really make things work. And this includes mental, spriritual, and physical readiness.
I don't know if I have that mental readiness...I do want to hang with my friend on Friday....Do I want that last "hurrah?" If I say that, am I just procrastinating once again? If I don't, am I going to have this grudge on my shoulder, and am I only going to be making it through sheer will power considering I am not yet prepared physically because I have not developed a proper diet plan to get me through the struggles of sugar and hormone levels? And am I prepared spiritually because I sure am PO'd, not about the disaster, but about how certain companies take advantage of people who are in a bad position?
I believe, for me, there is a lot for me to consider and plan in order to be successful. But, this could all just be a hoax created by the beast in order for me to procrastinate. This in itself is something to ponder and consider. I do consider myself better off today than I was Sunday because I am here sharing and thinking. I am also not drinking whenever I can. If all else fails, I have this week to develop what I need to do (I have already started my diet plan). I so very need to incorporate exercise and more water!!! And if I do drink Friday---which is not a plan---the best gift I can give myself for Valentine's is a gift of an AF lifestyle.
Thanks for letting me share.
Lee