Ok...I slipped, on purpose

[upnorthgirl]

Ok...I slipped, on purpose

AP we love you

Been there done that, hun. We all slip--see my post from Tuesday...I also felt worse for letting all of you down than letting myself down. Strange but true.

Okay, Day ONE all over again--but you know what? Keep in your head all the days you were AF.

[aidanspappa]

Ok...I slipped, on purpose

Up North, I like that...in fact I tell myself 32 days in a row out of 41 this year is pretty good....in fact, it is the best I have ever been. Day 2 now and feeling better...thanks so much. It is amazing how a 'couple of nights' can add up. Since I didn't join here until the first week of the year (as I was hungover for the first 3 days of 2009) I almost want to take 7 days out of 41 and make it 32 out of 34...one day it won't matter. Today is one of them.

Peace

[aprilmoon]

Ok...I slipped, on purpose

Slipping should be my middle name. I'm working on 14 days AF today.

I was doing so good last year. I didn't drink for 4 months. Jan to April 2008. I didn't even need to drink when my Daddy passed away last Feb. All it took for me to start was my precious 9 year old dog getting run over. I was with my Mama when my husband called me to tell me. I headed home and went and got my big bottle of Rum and got so drunk I was histerical about her dying. I was crying and screaming Why? Why? Why? and I want her back. The next morning I poured out my rum knowing that the rum wasn't helping. I continued to buy rum and drink off and on until Jan 28th 2009 when I had to put a stop to it. I just want to get past the anniversary of her death to know I can do this.

This is why I have to be here on MWO! I need the support here. I also feel that I give some support along the way. I wish I had found this website years ago.

:thanks:

[aidanspappa]

Ok...I slipped, on purpose

April,

I am so sorry about your dog; I have a 13 year old German Sheppard (Einstein) who I've had longer than I've known my wife. My father is dying from pancreatic cancer, both grandfathers are holding on. I am afriad everyone will leave me here alone all at once...and I try not to think of how I will deal with it. One day at a time....today is all I can handle, and I'm ok right now...which is good.

Thanks for sharing your story....you really helped me out a lot.

[aprilmoon]

Ok...I slipped, on purpose

aidanspappa;543553 wrote: April,

I am so sorry about your dog; I have a 13 year old German Sheppard (Einstein) who I've had longer than I've known my wife. My father is dying from pancreatic cancer, both grandfathers are holding on. I am afriad everyone will leave me here alone all at once...and I try not to think of how I will deal with it. One day at a time....today is all I can handle, and I'm ok right now...which is good.

Thanks for sharing your story....you really helped me out a lot.

You are welcome!!! I stopped drinking back last January to be there for my Mom and Daddy when they needed me. I couldn't drink after Daddy died because Mama needed me...Then when my Dog died, I said screw it...I need the rum. It didn't help a bit. Yeah, it numbed my pain somewhat, but the remorse I felt about drinking outweighed my yucky feeling about loosing my beloved pet. Now, I am stopping drinking for me. I think I had to realize that I had to do it for me, not for anyone else. It's been 2 weeks.

My husband woke up saying.."You've made it two weeks without drinking!" He is proud of me and that helps, but I'm not drinking for me this time.

Yes, you have to handle it one day at a time. That is how I have done it. Well, one day at a time and pouring out my remaining rum.....if it was here, I would drink it.

There are so many wonderful people here on MWO...just keep posting and reading...That's the best advice I got when I was new here!!

[bestlifeldms]

Ok...I slipped, on purpose

AP, You have my support now, as always. My abuse of alcohol was progressive and my way to becoming AF was progressive, as well. I have been a member here since the summer of 2006, but AF for only 10 mos. That tells you I had lots and lots of slips. I can't even bring myself to read my early posts because it is so obvious I was in total denial. When I have read a few of them, I think to myself "What a load of crap I was dishing out". I suppose there are people who can successfully moderate, but I am definately not one of them. For me, it is either drink (or, I should say drunk) or not drink at all. I can't slip or I will be back where I started or worse. So, I stay on this road. Keep progressing toward the life you want for yourself, and for those you love. Hugs, Best