So shy when sober

[last call]

I've been chatting with this particular man on the internet for a few weeks. He seems really really nice. Anyway today he asked if I would like to talk on the phone, if so he would send me his number. I can't believe how upset I got. I'm actually afraid to have a phone conversation with him. We seem to be friendlier and friendlier with each new post. I even started thinking about him most of the day. I guess I'm afraid that questions will come up that I don't want to answer. He doesn't know I have an alcohol problem, or no license and live with my sister. I just don't want the friendship to end. I probably shouln't even be thinking about any kind of relationship in my present condition, but I've been so lonely, and this makes me feel so good. You think I should take his #, call him and fess up or what? For all I know he might not even ask me these kind of questions. I know one of AA's rules is no relationships in the first year of recovery, but it just feels so right with this guy. Am I putting myself in a position for a train wreck? What do you guys think I should do? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

[Evie.Lou]

So shy when sober

Please try to go slow and with caution...Alcoholism leaves us wounded...We are broadcast systems, whether we want to be or not. When wounded you send out "wounded signal" and "wounded" will reply.Give yourself some time and once you begin to heal you will broadcast a sense of empowerment and then empowerment will reply. There is good reason for the AA saying...they have seen it hurt people OVER AND OVER and so have I.
Ultimately no one knows better what is good for you so if you trust yourself ??? and it is right for you then at least go in with open eyes...I wish you all the joy in the world and hope that you will focus on you at least for awhile longer.

[dove]

So shy when sober

I agree...go slow...if you are freaking out you are obviously not ready....wait till the right time. Listen to yourself....
Dove

[last call]

So shy when sober

Thanks Evie. You know what has me the most upset. That here goes another chance of meeting someone nice, and the al. is ruining it even though I stopped it's still srews up everything. It probably always will. I can already tell that this is not a good thing for me to be going through right now, but when IS it going to be an alright thing to wish for or go after or whatever I'm trying to say. This s---s!

[last call]

So shy when sober

You know I must be crazy. Who in their right mind is going to want to get involved with an addict with no license, no job, lives with their sister. Nobody with any kind of brains. I wouldn't want to. Maybe I just better forget all about this and not post him anymore. I don't know.

[Ripple]

So shy when sober

you be surprised, this person may have far more issues than you. on the internet we really have no idea the back-ground of anyone? he may end up being the LOVE of your life? it is a man, right? Tell him your a cop. :H

[last call]

So shy when sober

Very funny Ripple. It better be a man. I won't know unless I call him right? Now you got me thinking!

[startingover]

So shy when sober

I see no reason to not continue the friendship if it is making you happy. But just be realistic. He might be very different from the person he portrays, and like Rippy said, he might not be quite as he seems.lol

[last call]

So shy when sober

Yeah I hear you SO. I don't know what I'm going to do. Now if I were drunk right now I'd have no problem calling him. If he asked me something I didn't want to answer I'd just keep saying WHAT and hang up. BAD CONNECTION! OOPS! :H:H:H:H

[startingover]

So shy when sober

Lasty, you can STILL do that sober!!!:H:H:H

[last call]

So shy when sober

No No I'm supposed to be putting my bad ways behind me now that I'm sober. Aren't I? I'll tell you something if he starts talking with a lisp I'm definitely going to have a line problem. :H:H:H

[hippie37]

So shy when sober

You know I must be crazy. Who in their right mind is going to want to get involved with an addict with no license, no job, lives with their sister. Nobody with any kind of brains. I wouldn't want to. Maybe I just better forget all about this and not post him anymore. I don't know.

Don't be so hard on yourself last call. You seem to want to portray all the negative aspects of your life rather than the positive ones.

I actually dated another member from here after being 3 months sober and in retrospect I was not ready for it. I hadn't totally accepted my alcoholism and I was a time bomb waiting to explode. It would of been only a matter of time before the cracks started showing anyway if we were still together and I know that now. Loneliness can be soul destroying and I'm only just coming to terms with how that loneliness may of played more of a role in my decision to want to get involved with someone. My recovery at the moment will always come first and foremost and getting involved with anyone who drinks at such an early stage I think is definitely some cause for some major thinking. As soon as I slipped it almost gave her the go ahead to have a drink. It's caused me major heartache because I did actually fall in love with the girl and I've had a hard time getting over it. My head was in bits over the break up (ask oney she'll tell ya!). I couldn't deal with that emotional turmoil while trying to get myself sober at the same time and I'm only just getting myself back on track with the help of fellow addicts.

Anyway good look to you and I hope whatever decision you make it's the right one for you and your own recovery.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[last call]

So shy when sober

:thanks: Hippy. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. My better instincts tells me to stay away - don't get involved. I don't need anyone freakin my head up at this stage of the game. And men have a tendency to due that to me. :nutso:

[last call]

So shy when sober

:thanks: Gia. I hear you.

[FloridaBoy]

So shy when sober

Go slow...see what happens....you can't win if you do not play....back off if it gets to be too much.

Do not start drinking again regardless of what happens.